If you love summer, you might not want to come here today. You just might hear Gabriel wishing for snow, and me wishing we lived in Alaska.
That said, I am feeling a bit more prepared to handle this day than I'd been thinking I would be yesterday afternoon as--two hours later--Gabriel continued shrieking his bad attitude, tears kept streaming down my face, a peaceful afternoon became a distant thought, and exhaustion began to overwhelm me. A rescue mission by them included help while I conquered the "mountain" (those of you with strong-willed children may recollect or be experiencing the daunting nature of such a thing), dinner out, ice cream at the house with assistance in the kids' bedtime hour, and conversation during the loneliest time of day for me. Thanks to some outside perspective, I'm no longer convinced I am going to be absolutely miserable throughout the remainder of this week and well into the next.
May I recommend not calling your husband in a foreign country (yes, he read about me not being able to call him and quickly figured out a way for me to reach him if necessary... which I guess I figured was yesterday, silly me) in the middle of a mommy-breakdown? It probably isn't the best way to encourage him on his mission.
*sigh*
Sometimes in the midst of the challenges that seem so overwhelming and unmanageable, I do incredibly rash things. Fortunately, my optimist of optimists' passion is not easily squelched, his hope for tomorrow far more enduring than today's discouragement, and his praying with the Spirit and with understanding unbeatable, in this young mom's estimation. Still, it wasn't very thoughtful of me.
I'm determined to "do" this thing--this mothering, child-training, capturing-hearts thing. I just wish I had more confidence about when I'm hitting the mark and when I'm not.
I do that all the time, and I feel bad about it (calling Sonny at work during a crisis). If not calling, there's always an e-mail to send. Sonny is not able to provide any immediate help during these times with a 2hr commute even if some miracle provided he could attempt to come home. But just talking to him makes a world of difference and helps me reset myself back to the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteMom told me the story, again, of Dad's trip to Mexico when they had just bought the house in Madrrid, you and I were toddlers, and she was pregnant for Carina. You know--the story about how she couldn't get the wood furnace to work, and Mr. Daniels found her huddling us around the heat vent, trying desperately to stay warm... She said she's pretty sure that she was crying when she talked to Dad and giving him the, "How could you leave me here in this house? I hate this house!"
ReplyDeleteWe all have our moments. Otherwise we wouldn't have any funny stories for years down the road! :)
Thanks for a great visit yesterday. I wish I could have stayed longer. Next time will be a whole day, for sure. Your kids are awesome... and so are you. Thanks for all your input and encouragement! You're in my prayers for the next week.
ReplyDeletetime is always a great comforter for me. whether you do everything the right way, or the wrong way, or an indecisive way, time still lumbers on and the worst day can't stop it. the dawn always comes, eh?
ReplyDeleteJudy M. is just dying to know how far along Danica is. She saw her at the Summer Fest and totally forgot to ask her. She asked me. I said I wasn't sure, but I'd ask. I saw her (Danica) at Patsy the other night and completely forgot to ask. Does she mind if you tell me then I tell Judy? Why does this feel like gossip?
ReplyDeleteP.S. I do remember thrusting a baby at Eric when he walked in from work one night (it was during an awful bout of thrush, summer heat, migraines and early pregnancy vomiting for me). He graciously took the baby and insisted I take the "night off". I slipped into some comfy clothes, hopped into bed, and pulled out the book I had been really itching to dive into. The first line was "No matter how bad things get, don't ever shove your little one at daddy when he first walks through the door." I shut the book and cried myself to sleep. I've come a long way, baby- and hey! I'm not THAT much older than you! You have my word- I'll never call Eric in a foreign country and share my mommy-breakdown. I'll call you instead, OK?