putting the Big Rocks in first

Years ago, when I first began this homeschooling journey, I knew that I wanted to embrace The Four Pillars of Christian Homeschooling that my own dear mother had stumbled upon and walked out and taught. I wanted this homeschooling thing to be about so much more than just academics. I agreed with her: I wanted it to be about firstly loving God, then loving home & family, then loving work, and then loving learning.

But how to make it practical and tangible in our daily ins and outs, I wondered?

I was very convinced that I needed to arrange my day so that not only was I telling my kids that this was the order of importance, but so that we were living it. I can't drum up love in their hearts for any of these things-- this is the work of the Holy Spirit-- but prayerfully I can live an example and create an environment that cooperates with and fosters this work!

And so our morning routine began seven years ago, when I had a 5-1/2-year-old boy as my only pupil and his three younger siblings (ages 4, 2-1/2, and 1) tagging along, with putting the Big Rocks in first.

Personal quiet times, even before they could really read and write.

Take a few minutes, look at that picture Bible, talk to Jesus, ask Him to speak to you.

Then, as learning progressed and years passed by, blank journals given so they can write in them: thoughts, impressions from what they're reading, prayer requests. At age 9 or 10, we've begun giving them as their Christmas or birthday gift a genuine leather Bible with their name embossed on it, and it is joy unspeakable that my oldest two prize these books as some of their most precious belongings.

Breakfast together, as much as possible. Whether it's just the kids (maybe I simply have to take a shower then because of something scheduled shortly after), the kids and I, or the entire family, I try very hard to make this one of the consistent things we do each day. Not so much because there's anything intrinsically important about a shared breakfast, but because it's an opportunity to early on each morning reinforce that family-- these relationships right here in the home-- matters. And this way, even if the rest of the day falls apart and we barely get a chance to breathe from here on in, we've had this time together.

How are you? How did you sleep? What are you excited about today? Did you read anything interesting in your quiet time?

Thirty minutes for us to connect over food. We read from our devotional, talk, memorize Scripture, pray.

Chores come next. In addition to this serving the practical purpose of getting things within our jurisdiction in order so that we can have more productive school time, learning to work hard is an important skill. I tell my kids all the time that when they are grown, their employer(s) will be far more impressed by how they can roll up their sleeves and get the job done than by how many facts they can rattle off, or how terrific their ideas are, or how smart they seem. Not that those things are bad (they aren't!), but are you also able to clean the toilet, swing the hammer, wash their feet when necessary?

Do what's asked without complaining. Work cheerfully as unto the Lord. Go above and beyond the call of duty. Serve.

This curriculum proves to be a lasting one. I need the reminders as often as they do!

Then learning, and how I pray this hunger for learning only increases in each of them! I don't want their education to be a series of facts put to memory, a book load of information filed away, data that has been downloaded; I want them to be curious about, excited for, drawn to, and always learning! I want them to learn a lifestyle of learning and I want it-- whatever it is at that particular moment-- to come alive.

I begin our school mornings with reading out loud to them, not because they can't read the same exact material on their own (three of them can), but because I like the practice of them learning to engage in this way.

What do you think of this? How would they have felt? Tell me what you just saw/heard! Do you see how orderly that is? What does this tell you about God?

We do things together as much as possible: science and history and nature journaling. We take the work outside, we accompany it with hot tea on cold mornings, we let ourselves travel down bunny trails, we create and draw and explore.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly generous, we even make a mess! (Ha!)

I'm thankful for seven years under our belt now of building upon these practices, of "emptying the jar" regularly in order to make sure we really are getting the Big Rocks in first. And guess what? The workbooks, the test, the line upon line, precept upon precept gets done! It calls to mind this verse:

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.

Don’t worry about missing out.

You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Matthew 6:33

When we are obedient to what He's asking us to do, all else falls into its proper place. Perhaps it gets done, perhaps it doesn't. But what matters it that you did the most important things.

Perhaps you haven't yet decided what are the Big Rocks-- the most important goals-- in your home and for your family. May I suggest that you read The Four Pillars of Christian Homeschooling as a great place to work from?

Or perhaps you have the Big Rocks figured out, but the pressure of a culture that idolizes academics combined with the burden of trying to prove something as a homeschooling family has caused you to get in a rut of prioritizing something that isn't actually most important to you. I love the new school year and then the new calendar year for assessing and getting back on track!

Your Big Rocks may be the same as mine, but look different in practical outworking. That's okay! Just make sure you're doing them!

details on chore charts and flow charts and daily charts

Now that I've gotten into why I make these charts, here are some details about what is our day:

After playing around with wake-up times, I've settled into an approach that firstly values my kids getting the sleep they need and secondly accounts for making sure we're getting the important things done before I've completely lost all hope for the day's productivity (ha!). There was no great scientific study that went into this. I simply noted what time they were all generally awake by and went from there. For us, this is 7:30am. They pretty much have to be sick to sleep later than that. It's just the way they are. After that, I figured out the "big rocks" for our family-- the things that are the most important in each day for us-- and put those in first so that even if the train of our day totally derails, we have usually finished what I truly care most about.

(More on the "big rocks" another time.)

By 7:30am, I have changed diapers, wiped the sleep from my eyes, had my personal quiet time, and tied my running shoes. Sometimes I've had a chance to start breakfast prep or make my bed, but those are the really good days and not the norm, I'm afraid. I head out the door while the troops all prepare themselves for the day (often, the little girls are already dressed by then since they tend to rise shortly after the little boys). If Daniel is home, he watches the little boys (he's always had his quiet time and gone running or is home from a meeting by this time, as he's a natural-born morning person!); if he's not home, I throw them in the double stroller and leave the older 5 behind. This is a perk to having fairly competent and responsible 10- and 11-year-olds in the house (hang in there, Mama of little ones: your day will come!), but I'm not sure how it will work once the temperature is -15 degrees outside.

Around 8am, I am back so Bronwyn watches Elliot while Gabriel or Jackson makes breakfast and I oversee. The little girls often get a jump on their housework for the day.

Breakfast and family devotions around the table. Daniel likes to be home for this, but it doesn't always happen and that's okay. We've been working through Leading Little Ones To God for the past year or so, taking breaks from the book at times to talk about things that come up and need to be talked about and addressed. I've used a couple different devotionals over the years and this is my favorite so far.

At 9am, we get to our chores. A big and little kid are partnered for every meal clean up. Other chores at this time include cleaning various rooms of the house, checking on the chickens' food & water and collecting any eggs that have been laid, starting beans or soup for lunch, making granola, etc. Oh, and I try to get a shower somewhere during this hour.

School work keeps us busy from 10-12:30. We begin with read aloud, which includes all the kids. Then we do history or science (alternating days), which is also combined. After that, it's like a puzzle, making sure the two computers are available for the right kids for math (they take turns with it while working at language and handwriting) and keeping Elliot and Oliver busy while I work one-on-one with Aubrey.

Lunch is at 12:30pm. Bronwyn mostly makes it with help from me based on the predetermined menu plan: rice bowls, soup, PB&J, tuna lettuce wraps, etc.

From 1-2pm, kids go outside for play and fresh air and I try to join them for at least part of it if at all possible. Oliver usually goes down for his nap somewhere between lunch and this time.

At 2pm, I put Elliot down for his nap and call kids in. The little girls rest with books while the older three kids work on various assignments.

From 3pm on, I try to make sure they mostly have free time. Daniel's day off is on Tuesday and he's started giving Gabriel guitar lessons, which is simply replacing what was the old piano lesson slot for the duration of this semester. Literature group on Thursdays means our post-lunch schedule is all a little different and Friday School on Friday means our day is entirely different (and the best, as far as the kids are concerned-- and I think it's pretty terrific, too!).

I have a whole hour for dinner so that we can eat a little late if need be, linger around the table when possible, or eat at the front-end in order for Daniel to get out the door for evening meetings. At 6:00pm, the Kitchen Patrol crew gets busy while the others do a House Blitz (every single room in the house gets a quick tidy). After that, we rotate movies, wii, and board games in the evening hours. It's extra-special when Daddy is home for it!

Here is a sample schedule for inquiring minds. I know it's not the clearest image, but hopefully you can read it okay. I just use Pages and make a table-- it's nothing fancy. I have one of these for each of my four "school kids". Aubrey can't read it on her own yet, but it helps to have something I can have one of the other kids read to her when my brain is just too tired to figure out what she should be working on at any given moment.

Oh! One thought: my older kids are getting to the point where they can't always finish an assignment in the given time slot or, for example, I've checked their language and handwriting while we eat lunch and they have some things they need to correct/re-do. For the sake of computer and instrument and my personal schedule/routine, I have them simply close the book/chapter/lesson and get to the next thing; they can use some of their free time to finish the assignment later on. (Generally, this doesn't happen often or take very long!) The only assignment that most often takes place outside of designated "school" time is reading, which they do at night. Even the older three are in bed at 8pm, but they each have a bed lamp and are allowed to read for up to an hour.

And a final note: this is what we get back on track with. It doesn't happen everyday or even mostly everyday! Sometimes I slow it down because I want to deep clean the kitchen/school area (*ahem* Monday *ahem*), or there's a dental or doctor appointment for some/all, or the weather is beautiful and I decide we're going to eat a picnic lunch at the park (*ahem* yesterday *ahem*), or somebody had a new baby and getting a special meal made for them is the most important thing of the day, or one/more of the kids is sick and half my day is spent tending to them, etc. Our schedule is simply what we get back to when we're aiming for a routine day. My oldest son is a very orderly, rule-oriented person by nature and I am constantly reminding him that I made the schedule and I get to break it!

So make those routines, Mamas, and set expectations that are realistic yet growth-oriented. But please don't let some idea of what the perfect school week looks like become a burdensome thing. This is just one more tool in your tool belt. The goal is not to obey the routine; the goal is to raise up arrows who know what it is to love God, work hard, serve their family, and cherish learning!

on chore charts and flow charts and daily charts

**I often feel reluctant/apprehensive when sharing our "systems." Not everyone is a list or a chart kind of person, and that's okay. No two families will benefit from the same routines, and that is wonderful! That said, I also know how much I appreciate seeing what others do. Even if I don't utilize a single specific idea shared, it often is enough to get the "juices" flowing afresh for me and my own home, so here goes nothing!**

First off, please know that, even for me-- someone whose mind thinks in terms of structure, patterns, charts, and systems-- the realities of life with babies and toddlers and young children forces me to let go of some a lot of my need/desire for systems. Oh, these years can be trying on my soul! Every ten minutes requiring new evaluation for what is a reasonable expectation of behavior and productivity! Flexibility, the name of the game! Holding plans loosely becomes essential and being quick to readjust priorities imperative!

Let me be clear that a structure, schedule, flow chart, system needs to serve you and your family. You are not a slave to it. It's there to help you. And when it doesn't help, don't think twice about making exceptions or throwing the whole thing out the window!

So yes: flexibility is key.

But even since they were very little I've had chore charts of some variety because as much as children require flexibility, they also benefit tremendously from routine-- even if it's just the routine of how we wake up and how we go to bed.

Around here, first it was a traced hand with our basic Five Fingers routine hung in the bedroom when I had just four little ones, then ages 4-1/2 and under. Then pictures of additional tasks on magnets on the fridge got added in. Another year, a wheel that rotated responsibilities. In the last several years, it's as simple as columns and rows. Sometimes rewards and checkpoints of different kinds accompany these columns and rows, but for three years the columns and rows don't change except to expand and challenge and stretch my young charges.

These days, it's five kids all pitching in to help while the two littlest ones tag along. We work together. I have my jobs while they have theirs. Chicken duty, meal prep, bathrooms and bedrooms. Sweeping and vacuuming and dusting and washing and baking. There are extra things that come up; days when I scratch the "normal" list and make one that is much more comprehensive, perhaps in anticipation of a holiday or trip or party.

Chores have been a constant these years. Work is important. When and how that takes place has changed over the years, but always there.

Always as unto the Lord, though.

Always, I try to tell them: we do it well because He is always watching and He is always worth our best effort, our sincerest worship.

Gradually, as homeschooling year rolled into homeschooling year, we settled into a consistent morning routine: Five Fingers, personal quiet time, breakfast prep, breakfast & family (sometimes with Daniel, sometimes not) devotions, chores. These things almost always come before we get into the school books. Clean children + a clean house = better productivity, in my experience.

(But maybe we're weird like that.)

Still, that was really it in terms of a "schedule".

But last year as I approached my second year of homeschooling four children who are fairly close together in age with two-going-on-three little ones underfoot, I realized that for all the years I had spent letting go, this was the time to regain some more structure.

Only now, not so much for my sake as for theirs.

For my oldest three children, in particular, there needed to be more ahead-of-time knowledge about what a good school day looked like from my perspective. They are not mind-readers. And the training of having them come to me and ask, "What's next?" was actually starting to drive me batty: "Gabe, I am changing a diaper while Aubrey is sounding out letters in my ear and Claire just dumped the entire basket of Little People all over the floor right next to me and Jackson is running the vacuum while Bronwyn is washing dishes to the tune of top-of-the-lungs-singing. I have no idea what's next, so for the love of everything peaceful, please don't ask me, What's next!!!!"

So not only does more structure helps them to know in advance what I want from them, it also relieves me of trying to stay one step ahead of each kid, which was just leaving my head spinning.

Thus, our daily "schedule".

It's written down according to times, but let me let you in on a secret: it's really more of a general outline! I have to estimate about how long things will take simply so that our mornings aren't perpetually running into our afternoons, so that the piano is free for each kid at a time they can use it, so that everyone gets a computer when required for various subjects, etc, but that's really all the more reason why there are times on the chart. Breakfast sometimes gets eaten earlier, history sometimes takes longer, etc.

This has all been so helpful around here because now my three oldest kids don't have to ask me, What's next? They simply reference the chart and work through their day in a fairly self-governed way. Life saving for all of us, I tell you.

Now, it's nothing fancy. But it helps them know what to anticipate. It helps them keep at the things they need to be at whether or not I am tied up with little ones.

We are by no means a well-oiled machine. There are hiccups regularly. I have learned to not measure the success of a plan or a routine by whether or not it is flawless; none of them are. But is it realistic? Is it stretching them while not crushing them? Is there time for them to be children: to play and draw and dream? Are they getting the sleep they need? Are they learning new responsibilities?

We adjust. We tighten up. We grow. We adapt.

Prayerfully faster and with more flexibility than we did yesterday!

Next: what's on the daily schedule.

preparing for a new school year

The end of the summer is a time of gearing up in our home, as it is in most homes, I suppose.

I also find that it's consistently a time of reflection for me.

When we close the books in late May each spring, I am too glad to be done with the school year for much consideration or analysis of any kind! That always comes a few months later as I clean out the school shelves in preparation for new arrivals (yes, I admit to being the mom who simply closes the cupboard door instead of putting things away properly on that final school day!), as I revamp the chore charts and consider areas my children have grown in and areas they yet need to progress in, as I begin to mull over what our priorities for this year should be based on what worked and didn't work last year, as I wrap my mind around the fact that my children are growing at the speed of light and-- oh!-- my heart might break as I try to keep up.

our school cupboard: nothing beautiful or professional or earth-shattering, but it works.

I feel like I learned a lot last year.

About how to manage the needs of the varying ages in my home. About how to prioritize the one struggling to read even though I just want to pore over the history books and articles with my oldest one. About how to pace ourselves so that learning and school is a success. About how to set individual and unique goals for each one. About how to ask for help when I just don't know how.

But now it's time for a new year.

I sit down and process. Lists start flowing. Books get ordered when necessary and requested from the library when possible. In one fell swoop I empty the school shelves and throw almost everything I possibly can away: workbooks from last year that represent hard work and character formed and minds applied fill the trash bin to overflowing. The chore chart gets rearranged in order to stretch and challenge each child a bit more so that they can be shaped a bit more into the young man/woman they are becoming.

our daily guide and objectives-- I took time this year to make one for each child since I'm realizing my older children, in particular, benefit from knowing ahead of time what I more or less expect from them each day.
 

This year, though, along with the dreams and goals and visions I have of what I want to see in them, I am acutely and almost painfully aware of what I want to see in me.

I want to lead in kindness.
I want to liberally praise growth and effort and good works.
I want to instruct patiently.
I want to laugh more.
I want to pull the little ones close and read one more book every. single. day.
I want to hold my tongue.
I want to be thankful.
I want to be quicker to pray and slower to lecture.

Eight years ago, when Jackson was just a baby, I heard a wise woman speak about how we bring our children home to change them, but God brings them home to change us.

I feel this so strong: I want to look more like Jesus this year.

And as acutely aware I am of how much growth I need, I am equally aware of how unable I am to produce this in myself. This is Holy Spirit fruit.

I am His pupil and He is the teacher. He gives me my curriculum:

Draw near to God.
Abide in the vine.
Keep His commands.
Come boldly before the throne of grace.
Walk in the way in which you were called.
Delight in His law.
Give thanks in everything.
Pray without ceasing.

I am thankful that He is the Good Teacher; the Faithful Father; the Completer; the Provision I need. I cling to this promise that as I give myself to the process, He is the Potter and He is at work in me.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Philippians 1:6, The Message

a lot of thoughts about Whole 30

Our stumbling into the idea of trying the Whole 30 eating plan was just that: stumbling. I have two friends who spoke highly of it, but I didn't think much of it beyond that until we began learning about how damaged Daniel's digestive system had become due to stress. The idea of trying to see his insides healed initiated a whole lot of reading and research, and the book that lays out the Whole 30 plan (It Starts With Food)-- one of the last we happened to read-- rang true with a lot of what we were learning from other sources.

With nothing to lose (there's no way eating only "whole" foods for a month is going to harm us!) and everything to gain (finding ways to get Daniel feeling better), we tried it and with great results for both of us. Although we didn't quite make it the full 30 days due to a previous commitment as camp pastor at a children's camp last week (camp food!), we made it 27 days. I'm not sure there's anything magical in the number 30 except that the goal is a nutritional reset, if you will, and in that sense we more or less got it. We didn't get to do the reintroduction of other foods the way the book instructs so we both think we'd like to do another round in order to do that at some point.

* * * * *

I cook and bake from scratch and have since I was a young girl learning the ropes in my mom's kitchen. We buy free-range meat and are part of a CSA. Our chickens are laying eggs, which is about as fresh and local as you can get! And yet I'm always learning how to better steward our bodies.

But let me say this before I get started:

I think there's always the risk whenever studying nutrition to become debilitated by everyone telling you how everything is bad for you. There have been times in the past when I've just had to put the books/articles/whatnot down and call someone I trust ("Paula, what do you do?") for their reasonable and real-life advice because what "they" say is so overwhelming.

You're not getting enough protein.
Hold the phone: all meat is horrible for you!
If those veggies aren't organic, you might as well eat cotton candy.
Is that milk pasteurized?
Who cares that it's raw, it's cow's milk and you need goat's milk!
Don't ever buy pre-packaged cereal.
OHMYWORD there are PHYTIC ACIDS in those oats!

You get the idea.

I believe that God gave us food. In variety and abundance and flavors and colors, and what a gift it all is! It's not wrong that we enjoy frequenting a favorite restaurant or stop occasionally for ice cream cones in place of a nutritious lunch or enjoy blessing one another through cooking and baking and sharing the amazing gift of food-- and special, treat foods at that!!

Yes, we absolutely need to steward our bodies. When Daniel hit a wall in terms of his physical health, we began doing all within our power to adjust our lives so that he might serve the purposes of God in his day with all the strength and energy and gusto possible! It's why we did Whole 30. It's why I do my best to continually be learning and adjusting our eating habits.

But food is a gift and a tool. Good nutrition is a means that helps me serve Jesus; it is not the goal of my life. And when I keep it in its proper place, it becomes a powerful means that isn't overwhelmed by the debilitating and crippling food arguments and debates because I am simply doing my best and trusting that I have a Heavenly Father who ordains my life.

I have no intention of becoming a food snob. I like fried dough as much as the next person! Don't even get me started on cherry cobbler with fresh whipped cream or a brownie hot fudge sundae. And sweet potato fries??? YES PLEASE.

Years ago, I spent two months in the Philippines dining on white rice and canned sardines and spam and MREs. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it was the best way I could serve the Kingdom in my eating. Here at home, as finances and supplies allow, I plan on incorporating a lot of Whole 30 ideas into our regular diet-- lots, lots, lots more veggies and more protein, minimal grains, far less sugar (including natural sugars), and Daniel will probably eat the strictest out of all of us for some time as he continues to get his body healed-- because this is how I see us best serving the Kingdom in our eating at this time.

* * * * *

Now-- if you're still with me-- for some reflections:

1. Americans don't eat enough vegetables.

Or, at least, I don't.

I always thought we did okay. A good amount of veggies, of the fresh and local and pesticide-free variety as much as possible, at almost every dinner meal-- not to mention the raw veggies we munch on most days with lunch.

Turns out, when my plate is 2/3 filled with veggies three times a day, I feel better. (Who knew?!)

I also think it's a common thought in the US that fruits and vegetables are interchangeable-- like somehow if you (or your child) aren't eating enough vegetables, you can make up nutritionally with fruit. They're just not the same.

Vegetables are not only rich in vitamins and minerals, but they're also the easiest-to-digest foods available. This was perhaps the most critical element in Daniel's increased energy and diminished aches and pains.

So eat those veggies, people!


2. Sugar is not my friend.

Although this isn't a newsflash, I realized how true it is when I ate sugar after not having any (not even natural forms like maple syrup or honey) for almost a month. It makes me sick, it makes me sluggish, it makes me tired.

This is not to say I won't ever eat sugar, but as limited as I tried to make it in the past, it's going to be far more limited. I went from nothing but a little fruit for almost 4 weeks to eating cupcakes two days in a row last weekend and let me tell you: there's nothing more motivating than seeing how much better I felt without it.


3. I need more protein than I think.

If there was one thing I saw a dramatic change in, it's that after a year of taking floradix and focusing on iron-rich foods (spinach and chickpeas and apricots, oh my!) with little to no improvement in my hemoglobin levels, within a week of Whole 30 I had stopped craving ice, which is a common symptom of iron deficiency and one I really suffered from. I haven't been tested, but I assume the vanishing cravings were due to a corresponding rise in my iron levels, and I absolutely believe it's because of my increased protein intake.

Protein is essential for absorbing iron, which I've known, but I hadn't realized how much less protein I was taking in than I really needed. I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for over 12 years. My body needs all the help it can get!


4. The Family Meal Table is essential.

I was really thankful that we already had routine family meals established in our home-- something both Daniel and I grew up with and then brought into our marriage and home-- because eating Whole 30 requires lots of food prep. You can't eat anything "quick" or "easy" (remember: even fruit is in moderation), but fortunately for me, meal prep and sitting down with my kids three times a day was already a pretty normal part of my day.

In that sense, Whole 30 only confirmed what I've had a strong conviction about: food is meant to be eaten in community, shared at a table, used as a pause from the day's demands and activities, an opportunity to connect relationally; and the very act of sharing food together has spiritual implications. Obviously this isn't always possible and sometimes it's eaten more on-the-go than is ideal, but even my own bad habits of making use of the time the kids are busily eating lunch to throw the next load of laundry in or zip off a few emails were curtailed this past month and I am seeing afresh how much healthier it is to prepare food for myself (rather than eating the leftover bits off their plates!), sit down, eat and converse with them, etc.

Whole 30 requires lots of cooking. It requires thought and planning. And once I've put in that effort, I want to enjoy it. So I sat. I ate slower. I ate more thoroughly and thoughtfully. I ate with laughter and conversation surrounding me.

What a gift!


5. What goes in is as important as what doesn't.

I've long wondered if there isn't a better way than the American fascination and obsession with what we shouldn't be putting in our bodies. We count calories and weigh food and go on starvation-type-diets left and right.

I really appreciated that Whole 30, while it has a long list of what you're not eating, focuses more on what you are eating. And trust me, if you make sure you're eating a healthy serving of protein and fat and loads of roasted and raw and grilled vegetables, you are full at the end (and sometimes mid-way through!) each meal. I didn't really miss the grains and sweets, honestly. I didn't feel hungry until 4-5 hours after my last meal.

* * * * *

And so, in conclusion, I'll just say:

Whole 30 was an eye-opening and helpful experiment for us, and I'd highly recommend it to others!

Next up: what we ate from day-to-day on Whole 30.

progress

Around mid-June, Daniel began an extended vacation of sorts. Some leave time that had piled up along with increasing mental and physical fatigue forced a major change in plans for our summer. My man who is a go-getter, active-just-for-fun, always reaching for the next thing, eternally optimistic, and oozing faith was just kind of... well... done.

Over the course of the next few weeks, he rested, read, prayed, dug into the Word, rested some more. And while the mental/spiritual cobwebs and clouds seemed to part way and his soul could breathe a bit again in time, it simultaneously became increasingly clear that his body was not as healthy as it should be. Whether the physical caused the mental and spiritual fatigue or the other way around, we may never know. Regardless, we found ourselves in a place of needing to address both.

After a full battery of tests, there was seemingly nothing wrong.

Cue a visit to a nutritionist and Daniel borrowing, oh, about 10 books on health and nutrition from the library. He wanted different opinions and varying schools of thoughts in hopes of finding the common threads in them all.

At the end of the day, we were pretty certain his digestive system was working pretty terribly. Stress has a way of really wrecking a body, you know.

So after a week-long trip to Dayton, Ohio for a worship leading and speaking commitment he had made, Daniel came home and began a 2-day cleanse followed by 2 days of juicing in order to give his stomach a break. The next day, we began following the Whole 30 food plan after reading (upon recommendation and loan from a good friend), It Starts With Food--a book that really resonated with us based on all the prior reading and learning. The idea with Whole 30 is that you take 30 days to fill your body with the stuff it really needs and eliminate everything that could be causing problems. After 30 days, you begin reintroducing foods in a way that allows you to "learn" your body-- which things agree with you and which things don't. Although neither Daniel or I thought that he had major sensitivities (and we still don't) to anything in particular, we knew a diet rich in nutrients and with zero of the stuff that's harder to process for 30 days certainly wouldn't hurt and might even help.

That was two weeks ago.

And Daniel is feeling so good.

His color is better. His muscles have stopped aching. The extreme fatigue has lifted. We know there is more ground to take and that nutritional deficits aren't overcome in a day or even a few weeks, but we are incredibly encouraged by the progress made.

I feel better (I'm doing it, too) and I didn't even know I didn't feel good! Ankle pain that has plagued me every morning upon waking for the past few months is gone. I've stopped craving ice by the jar-full all day every day. I have more energy.

And don't worry: we're not hungry-- quite the opposite, as our plates are loaded with healthy, nutritious vegetables and proteins and fats three times a day.

I'm so thankful.

Thankful for the time of rest. Thankful for the spiritual and mental cleansing and healing that has taken place. Thankful for wisdom and encouragement from dear friends and people who are eager to see Daniel's body whole. Thankful that some nagging less-than-stellar health I've had for years (let's be honest: I've been nursing and/or breastfeeding for over 12 years) seem to be resolving quickly and easily just as a side benefit. Thankful for a community of believers who have been beyond gracious during this season to the point of praying for us, relieving us, ministering to us, and blessing us. Thankful for a God who gives wisdom to us when we ask by faith for His help.

summer time

When in April we finalized plans to join Daniel's extended family for their annual camping trip over Memorial Day weekend, May 22nd became my goal for finishing our homeschooling 2013-2014 school year and objectives. Years ago I learned not to fret if we didn't finish every work page and if certain goals had to be trimmed down or abandoned altogether before we called it quits, but I also have a deep desire to teach my kids some "stick-to-it-ive-ness" and so I do like to set some clear finish lines.

We did it! By the skin of our teeth and the day before leaving-- as Gabriel plugged his headphones into the laptop for his very last math lesson and quiz, we headed out for our final literature group session (for the school year), and I finished the last chapter in our read aloud while kids folded laundry that needed to be packed-- we did it!

Since coming home, we have fully transitioned into Summer Mode.

It looks like a lot of baseball and softball! When we offered to all three of our oldest kids the opportunity to play this year, knowing they would all be on different teams and different schedules, we knew it would be a commitment.

Is it too much? Is this what we should be doing with so much of our time? I wondered. 

Five weeks, Brietta. I feel like we can and should give them five weeks. I want them to know that in the midst of all sorts of commitments and sacrifice, we can give them these next five weeks.

And so we are in the midst of that, and I have to say that even when I'm frazzled from trying to get dinner on the table each night by 4:30pm in order to get out the door on time, and as the babies are crying through their 8:30 and 9pm baths because we didn't get home any sooner, and as I arrange rides and Daniel and I go our separate ways to get each player to the field s/he needs to be at, I really am loving it.

I love the game. I love the sparkle in my children's eyes, how their cheeks flush with each success, watching their hearts grapple with disappointment, hearing their words of thanks and appreciation flow.

And while they pitch and bat and throw (and, yes, Jackson also plays, but I don't have any pictures of him because with Daniel as his coach, I really don't get to his games very often since I am busy running one of the others to their game), I also get time with the younger ones. Time to work on sitting still, time to laugh and tell stories, time to teach them about the game and about support and about cheering, time to watch them play with the few toys they brought and hear how absolutely hilarious their imaginations are!

It's been special in many ways.

Summer Mode has also looked like flowers.

Last year I itched to enlarge my flower garden, which I began 8 years ago and have made bigger bit by bit since then, but refrained because I didn't know what this spring would look like. Oliver has proven to be the kind of baby who lets me play in the garden, so with Mother's Day money from Daniel in hand, I purchased a few more plants and, along with three hand-me-downs from others, enlarged this tiny bit of land that I am converting just a tad more.

Finally having enough plants to produce regular cuttings for indoors has only inspired me to keep going, and so I am already making plans for what I would like to add next year!

It's also looked like laundry on my [recently repaired] clothesline, which is one of my most favorite things. I love my whites to be white, so while I indulge every so often on some bleach during the winter months, I am so thankful when I can use the natural sunlight to eliminate stains and brighten our clothes again!

And, of course, with the increasing concerns in recent years and especially this year about ticks and Lyme disease, we do daily tick-checks (the kids all know who they're supposed to help!) and Daniel wakes me from a fitful sleep in which I am moaning about ticks and I fret to friends both online and in real life about suspicious rashes and bumps that always turn out to be irritated mosquito bites.

Summer Mode wouldn't be Summer Mode without a project-- big or small-- or two. I don't have big chunks of time due to a certain 5-month-old so I don't think I'll be painting the kitchen or anything like that this year, but I'm hoping to knock out some small things that I dream about but don't have time for during the school year.

Things like purchasing a new-to-us highchair and giving both our old one and the new one a fresh facelift so that my two little boys will both be well accommodated at our meal table. (Not that Oliver will be eating, but he already loves to be part of whatever it is we're doing!)

Speaking of Oliver, he will be six months old in twelve short days and I just don't know where the time has gone.

He is a delight.

And he often gets confused by strangers for a girl, regardless of what he's wearing. One woman recently said to me, "His hair is too thick and pretty to be a boy!" I just smile and reassure them that I now have two sons with beautiful red hair and the older one never gets mistaken for a girl, so I'm not too worried about him.

Yes, our Oliver Richard who completely fills out his 6-9 month sleepers and weighs roughly 20lbs (he hasn't seen a doctor since he was 12 days old, but I stood on the scale with him the other day) and rolls himself under the couch and contentedly lets most anyone hold him and smiles and smiles and smiles.

Summer Mode is also including a summer session of literature group, a fresh batch of books to read from the library, a special read aloud list, adjusted chores to deal with the influx of grass and dirt and mud that get tracked indoors, getting back into some semblance of a running routine for both Daniel and I, eating outdoors as often as possible, looking forward to and then enjoying our CSA fruits & veggies, and hopefully taking some time to just be together as a family.

Bring. it. on.

a remodeling story

When we purchased our little yellow house over 8 years ago, it came to us very much on the path of being well restored to its original mid-1800s glory after many, many years of being a poorly-cared-for rental property. I never saw it in its roughest condition, as it was already dramatically improved by the time we purchased it and then moved in, but friends tell me it was bad. The man who flipped it and sold it to us did much to restore it.

That's my dear mama on the porch. Family did all the scouting of this house on our behalf and we ended up buying it without ever seeing it in person. We just knew it was the house for us. (The price tag and location helped clinch that!)

But there was yet more to do.

When we purchased the home, about 1700 square feet of the house was livable: fresh paint, new wall-to-wall carpet, functioning bathrooms, new windows. Attached to the main house was an adjacent 200 square feet or so (look on the right hand side in the above photo) that maintained what the house looked like in its *ahem* more recent history. Dog-stained floors, rotting joists, missing windows, no insulation or interior walls, the works. But I am my mother's daughter and I could see the potential in it all.

Our first big house project began in late August of 2008, almost two years exactly after we purchased our home. We had been saving up and now the prize was in sight: a new kitchen and reclaiming the adjoining unfinished/closed off space!

an exterior picture of the unfinished space that became a family room and now is the eat-in/schooling area of the kitchen

the interior of what it looks like today

We love, love, love this room! The kitchen is the heart and soul of a home-- especially a homeschooling family's home.

Then in November of 2010 we began another project, quite by accident. Out of curiosity, Daniel pulled up a section of the wall-to-wall carpet in our dining room and we found, beneath layers of flooring, wide plank New England pine. Unfortunately, it was covered in lead paint and our family had to vacate the premises (Ryan and Danica gracious took us in for almost 6 weeks while we were homeless) while Daniel set about ripping out the rest of the carpet and other various flooring that had piled up over the 100+ previous years, pulling out hundreds of nails, sanding and sanding and sanding, and then oiling the floors.

 no stain necessary on these babies-- age has made them beautiful!

This happened to be the first time I had ever seen our house without a single piece of furniture or even a box of belongings in it. The wheels began to turn and in the process of redoing the floors, we ended up rearranging walls, widening doorways, and the like.

I can get carried away like that.

It was totally worth it, though, and we had some wonderful help from several wonderful friends during the process.

In the spring of 2011 we began thinking about more space. Our 3-bedroom house was technically now a 2-bedroom house thanks to the previous house project, which had meant us giving up our original master bedroom for living space (we were, at this point in time, sleeping in a room on the first floor that was really not a bedroom at all, though I did love it, I must say). At 1900 square feet, it certainly wasn't a tiny home, but the realization that our 5 (at the time) children were all growing rapidly and taking up more and more space was nipping at our heels. I had often wondered about expanding our upstairs to fully extend over the entire downstairs (the upstairs was about 400 square feet less than the main house), but financially we weren't sure it would ever be possible.

We looked at real estate, wondering if moving altogether was the best idea. (It wasn't, we quickly gathered as we suffered major sticker-shock at real estate prices!) We played around with floor plans for our own home. We hemmed and hawed. And no good answer seemed obvious. Long story short, the Lord laid it on my heart so strongly to not fret if another baby was sent our way and Daniel decided to take out a small home improvement loan if necessary in order to gain ourselves more bedrooms.

Lo and behold, absolutely miraculous provision came just days after he first met with a loan officer and before we could ever file any paperwork.

We dove right in and a month later found out that baby #6, our very own Elliot Hale, was on the way.

that became...

this!

 originally, that entire second floor wasn't part of the house-- we added two bedrooms, eliminating our need for the small make-shift bedroom on the first floor entirely (we claimed that room as a family/TV room)

A big bonus of changing the roof line and adding those two extra bedrooms upstairs was that our knee-wall, sloped-ceiling upstairs bathroom could become a full bathroom.

In all, the upstairs expansion project took us over two years from start to finish because Daniel did the bulk of the work himself. We hired out sections of the project at key points (the beginning, middle, and plumbing!) and certainly benefited from the help of generous friends, but most of it fell to him. He kept at it and never gave up, even when it felt grueling and s-l-o-w.

the bathroom before...

 the bathroom after

 one of the new bedrooms, which has become the master due to its larger-than-the-rest closet!

 the "double duty" guest room & nursery

With these rooms added, the entire first floor having been rearranged and the floors redone, the kitchen remodeled, the unfinished adjoining kitchen space reclaimed, and the upstairs bathroom dramatically improved, we were left with one yet untouched nook of the house: the downstairs bathroom.

When we moved in, it was the room that seemed to need the least improvement, but as the years went by we realized that, although on the surface it had seemed perfectly fine, it was as much a victim of rotting floor joists, insufficient insulation and ventilation, poor plumbing and crumbling drywall as the rest of the house.

I have to say that I dragged my feet on this project. The downstairs bathroom is right off our dining room and I just wasn't sure it was a good time to wreck the house by virtue of wrecking the bathroom. (Both Daniel and I were well aware that this bathroom redo would be of the tear-it-down-to-the-studs variety.) Daniel asked me when would be a good time (never) and then proceeded to discover obscene amounts of black mold that I'm pretty sure he planted just to convince me it had to be now.

I told him it had to be quick because I couldn't handle a long, drawn-out project.

The man delivered.

He ripped it out on March 25th and today, one month later, it is more or less finished. Besides one 8-day stretch when he had non-stop meetings, he found time each day to put in a few hours. I don't think he's watched a single baseball or hockey game in a month, I know he didn't do much reading, and he certainly gave up hours of sleep since often those few hours came after returning home from an evening youth meeting or life group or mens group or an elders meeting or a young couples gathering, etc. If I sound like I'm bragging about him, I am. I couldn't have done what he did. I'm not sure many people could.

And he did it for me. For our family.

before:

during:

after:

The hope is that we are now done with major interior projects. We'd still like to add a screened-in porch off the back of the house, build a fence along one part of our property, and a chicken coop is immediately next on the docket (more on that another time), but we think the dust will not fly inside for quite some time now.

Unless, of course, I dream up something new...!

tips, tricks, and favorites

A friend started a blog-trend of sharing 10 tips, tricks, and faves and then tagged me. I've already tucked away several things from various others' blog posts that I think will be helpful. Such fun!

I'm feeling a bit at a loss to share anything new, but here goes nothin'. I'll do my best!


:: Lately, I've been falling in love all over again with a particular kitchen tool that I've owned as long as I've been a wife and homemaker. For a short time, it wasn't stored in the handiest of locations and so I got out of the habit of using it on the couple-times-a-week basis that I once had; about a year ago I'd had enough of "cheating" (buying pre-milled whole wheat flour!) and reorganized my kitchen in order to make it handier. (Is that a tip right there, perhaps?-- keep your valuable kitchen tools handy? Oh wait... everyone but me already knows that. Doh.)

Meet my electric grain mill, given to me as a wedding gift over 12 years ago.

We try not to eat a lot of bread around here, since I'm not convinced a lot of wheat/gluten is good for us, but when I do bake a cake or muffins or brownies, etc., I like to throw in some freshly milled prairie gold whole wheat flour.

I love this mill. It's worked great for years-- and if we are going to eat some wheat, I want it to at least have all the nutrition of a freshly milled wheat berry, which is significantly greater. It's super easy to use: just pull it off the shelf (now kept on the one right in front of my face when I'm baking, thankyouverymuch), hook it up, plug it in, and turn it on. A minute later, I've got that cup or two of freshly milled flour that I need for my recipe. No clean up necessary other than a quick wipe down and winding of the cord before popping it back on the shelf.

One of my goals this year is to begin experimenting with milling other healthier, more ancient grains and baking with them. If you've got any tips/pointers on that, please pass them along!


:: Keep things fresh, especially if you're a homemaker who spends 99.9% of your time within the same few walls! It doesn't have to be a major overhaul. Never underestimate the power of simply updating things a bit.

For example, rearrange some furniture in the house-- I find that helps re-inspire organization and thorough cleaning for me and the kids. Buy a few new-to-you books (children's, mothering, discipleship, whatever!)-- AbeBooks is a favorite of mine these days for getting something fresh on the shelves or nightstand without spending much. Switch your daily/weekly/monthly planner-- there are lots of free ones to choose from! Make a new chore chart accountability system-- even something simple, like a sheet that gets hung on the fridge for writing check marks on.

:: For Christmas, I asked Daniel for a fitbit zip. I had an inkling that despite how busy my days feel due to all the demands on my time that without a regular outdoor walk or run, I'm not nearly as active as it seems. (Much of my day is spent sitting with children working through school assignments, nursing a baby, reading aloud, etc.)

I got my Christmas wish-- and my hunch was confirmed.

Of course, initially Daniel joked that he was monitoring it to make sure I wasn't being too active, since at Christmas I was only 10 days postpartum and still needing to take it easy. Now that Oliver is a month old (today!) and I've been mostly diligent about replenishing my iron, I'm increasing my activity bit by bit. Having something to help motivate me to get outside and to make the most of opportunities for activity around the house (for example, running up those stairs myself instead of asking one of the kids to grab the diapers I need!) has already been extremely helpful, and I'm not even back to my regular old self yet.

I'm also using it to track my water intake and have already seen a profound increase in just a few short weeks.


:: My library card has become my best friend and biggest money saver in the past year! It is the homeschooling tool of a lifetime, I tell you. And with the ability to request books right from my computer and then walk over and pick them up, having 7 kids doesn't even make utilizing the library a hassle.

:: Many of you know I had to buy a new infant car seat for Oliver. Our old one was about to expire-- and the reason I realized that was because the plastic was actually deteriorating in one spot!

After reading a number of online reviews and getting some feedback from facebook friends, I settled in on a Chicco Key Fit. Up until now, I've always used a Graco seat. I was given one when Gabriel was born, and then I was able to buy another Graco from a friend who had only used hers for one baby when I needed to replace the first one.

I like the Chicco a great deal more. It is much lighter than the Graco, is much more level/stable in the vehicle, has better padding/fabric, and the safety rating is higher. The jury is out on whether or not it will wear better, but it's hard to imagine it won't be at least as good-- I haven't been impressed by Graco seats in that department.

:: Maybe this one is old-hat and another "doh!" thing to mention, but I love Pinterest. I really, really do. It is so handy to me to have all my favorite links, images, and ideas all nicely organized in one place online. I can't say that I have much (any, actually) time for browsing the Pinterest community at large, but I have a number of people that I follow whose pins are generally very helpful to me and I often will add my own pins for articles, homeschooling resources, recipes, health tips, etc.

At first, I couldn't figure it out so I understand that it might seem strange or hard to get initially, but don't knock it 'til you try it!


:: A practice we began years ago that has been tremendously helpful in keeping our belongings streamlined and our [full of people] house organized is that whenever the children get something new, they must get rid of something old. This year, we sorted toys and books a good bit before Christmas, since I was due with Oliver in December and doubtful that an overhaul of belongings would take place after, and we always end up with a number of things that are broken/used up to throw away and a number of things that they no longer use/play with to give to someone else.

For example, Jackson realized that he opts to play with Legos 9 times out of 10 while he rarely pulled out his dinosaurs (once the played-with-daily item). The dinosaurs were packed up and gifted to another little boy and-- what do you know?-- Jackson got more Legos for Christmas!

Perhaps this seems like a rather rigid rule of thumb, but with 9 of us sleeping, eating, working, playing, schooling, and more in a 2300 square foot house, we have to be vigilant about not letting our things get out of control. And besides, the longer I'm a mom, the more convinced I am that less is more and that children actually enjoy what they do have more when it's not hard to manage and keep organized/tidy.


:: What can I say? Some of my very favorite things are the things in my home that have come to me second- (or third- or fourth-?) hand. This includes clothing and shoes and blankets and table linens and knickknacks, but especially furniture.

I went around the house and took pictures of only a handful of the many things that have been passed on to me, purchased at auctions, or found at thrift shops and flea markets: my dearly-loved "bird chairs," the piano and old-fashioned stool, the wobbly-but-still-working highchair my children have all used, wardrobes and cupboards, rocking chairs and side chairs, most everything in the girls' room-- including their 4-poster bed, chests of drawers, and more.

It's not so much that I love the economical savings these pieces represent (though the price performance is pretty remarkable!) or that I love how well made furniture was in years past (though the craftsmanship is definitely remarkable!) as it is that I love the history behind them. For example, my late piano tuner and I often talked about the piano that was given to us, one made in the late 1800s, and wondered where it may have been, who may have played it and what kinds of music they might have enjoyed, etc.


:: For about a year now, I've used the YouVersion app for my daily Bible reading plan. Although there's nothing like a physical Bible in my hands-- leather cover and thin pages and familiar places-- I do love the convenience and always-with-me aspect of the Bible app. I can nurse a baby, wait in the dentist's office, forget my Bible when I go to church, and still have the Scriptures at my fingertips.

This year, I've got the added bonus of being part of a facebook group that is reading through a plan together. I am loving how much more I am getting out of my Bible reading. I finish my own reading, with different verses and passages standing out to me, and then I see others' comments and thoughts and it brings even more to life. There is so much depth in the Word, and this has been an unexpected and delightful way to share in others' experience and revelation.


:: Our school morning always begins with breakfast together at 7:30am (or thereabouts... we are known to run late quite often!), devotions at 8, and then everybody doing their daily chores until 9:30. Then? Then comes my favorite part of the day.

Read aloud time.

We have enjoyed many wonderful books throughout these times, and we have enjoyed them together. If none of these other tips, tricks, or favorites of mine inspire or interest you, I hope this one does. Reading and exploring through books on one's own is a privilege; reading and exploring through books together shapes us.


I tag Michelle, Katelyn, Rochelle, and Heather!

final week preparations

This is our final week before we officially kick off another school year here in the little yellow house and we are busily sorting, re-working, establishing, and re-establishing in preparation for what's coming.

When your home is the place you do 99.9% of life-- learning, trying, experimenting, repenting, forgiving, working, resting, studying, and more-- it's pretty important that it be accommodating to all those things. Some years we're able to do a more thorough and in-depth toward-that-end overhaul than others; I'm thankful this year is tending toward the more end of the spectrum.

I'm sure this is bizarre to some, but it seems very natural to me that in order to begin another school year we have to weed out the toys and re-organize the linen closet and deep clean the kitchen cabinets and cut down the tomato plants, in addition to the more likely tasks of sorting out books and getting rid of broken crayons and re-filling binders.

I benefit hugely from having a clean slate.

So much so, in fact, that on my agenda of Things To Do Before School Begins is cleaning out the small storage space we have in our attic tomorrow. Don't ask me why that needs to be done before we can sit around the kitchen table and read Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in peace, but for some reason that you might have to be inside my head to understand, it just does.

Along those lines, today's project (besides sorting the girls' dressers and toys) was turning an old dresser into a TV console for some better storage in the family room. Top drawer was removed, I painted the inside cavity, Daniel jig-sawed a hole in the back for wires and cords, and voila! That was easy (and cheap!) enough.

Even my children have gotten in on the sorting more than ever before. I am bit by bit turning them all into "get rid'ers." Some of them may have eventually evolved into that on their own (it seems most all of human nature starts out a little overly on the attached and sentimental side when it comes to our stuff), but this year even the ones who tend to be "keepers" have been all too happy to think very critically about their belongings in order to decide whether or not they are truly worth the storage space, the routine re-organization, and the ongoing maintenance they require.

My mantra that they hear often: do you use it [often] and do you love it [lots]? If not, get rid of it!

Several trash bags full of socks with holes, broken toys, and more have already been placed out in the garbage pails, and we have a nice pile of things to go to the blessing shop or to give to friends accumulating on the dining room table.

While we are busily cleaning out, this is in large part because we are also bringing in. There is new curriculum on the top school shelf, the jars are freshly filled with pencils and glue and crayons, binders have been restocked with paper, and a truckload of reserved books have just arrived at the library. On top of that, it won't be long before fall clothes are being pulled out of bins, new jeans are being purchased for each kiddo, and we're assessing our Friday School uniform situation.

My special new school year gift to myself was a chalkboard marker. So fun. My life will never be the same!