floors

If it's felt quiet on the house update front, it's because the work of late has been somewhat tedious. But the truth is that it's been exciting, too. We're finally past the last hurdle of things we really wanted to finish before we could even consider moving in: the sanding and refinishing of the old pine floors that were throughout the majority of the house.

They'd been painted for years and years and had quite a few coats of paint in several different colors. Daniel tried a few different techniques before settling in on renting a large drum sander and edger, and buying sand paper in several different grits. After that, it was just late nights, sweat, and sore muscles.

I appreciate the man for so many things, but his commitment to getting a job done is high on the list.

He ran that drum sander across horizontally and diagonally before another run vertically. Then hours with the edger. Then more time with the drum sander and a finer grit sand paper. And finally a palm sander with an even finer grit.

Once the floors were sanded, all that was left was a good cleaning before treating them with a mix of linseed oil and paint thinner. He really wanted to get the floors oiled before we headed out of town for a few days since they need time to cure before being walked on anyway.

At 3am, Tuesday morning, he finished and we left for our mini church leadership retreat at 9am.

They turned out beautifully-- and so like the floors in our old house. There's one board in particular in the dining room that I looked at and instantly recalled mopping a certain board in our old front entry. As I took in the floors, the house felt even more like home.

Looking into the sitting [formal living] room from the dining room. Daniel widened the doorway from being a single door to a double door; trim and doors will go up in the next few weeks.

Looking out the front of the sitting room. The whole house has been primed, but not yet painted.

Looking into the big boys' bedroom from the little boys' bedroom. Daniel had to patch a few spots where old heating chutes had once been (as seen in the above picture), so he found old wood in the barn so that, once oiled, they would have the same pumpkin-y color as the original floors.

This little room will [most likely] be Bronwyn's bedroom. It was already the sweetest bedroom, and the floors in here turned out especially lovely.

Next up Daniel is going to be tackling trim in rooms where there either wasn't baseboard ever or windows were re-framed, etc. He's also going to be installing odds and ends like the kitchen sink + faucet, the electric baseboard in the boys' room, the cooktop, some light fixtures.

Then it's on to painting. A lot of painting!

Once painting is done, the new floors in the kitchen/family room will be finished, as well as the brick in the area for the wood stove installed.

Bit by bit, it's happening. As eager as I am to get in, I'm also very aware of how much easier all of this work is for Daniel if he's not doing it around furniture and small children. Every time I feel like I just really need to be in my own home with all our belongings and able to get back to "normal" routines that allow for more stability, more hospitality, more outreach, and more rest, God is faithful to remind me that He doesn't lead us places He can't then give grace for. He knows what my children need in each season. And the truth is, we have such a great set up right now! Above and beyond what we ever could have dreamed of, really.

I just really, really love You

Digging a little deeper these days. Finding there is grace to do more than I ever thought. Have harder conversations. Pray more. Fit in that extra need. Stay awake one more hour. It shouldn't be an easy burden, but when we get it springing from the right well, the right motivation, it somehow is.

Still... sometimes-- a lot of times-- I want to be overwhelmed.

Just last night, I sit by my son's bedside as he cries and cries and repeatedly tries to get up and I think to myself how tired I am and how long this day has been and I so badly want to calculate how many years I have been doing this very routine, but I know to stop before I even begin, because even if I measure the years of giving that are behind me, the ones ahead stretch out further and scarier. Instead, I put my hands on both his cheeks and he tries to push them away; he is crying messy tears and he is angry with me. But I just put them back and say, "Oh Oliver... I love you. I just really, really love you."

I say it for him.

I say it for me.

I say it for Him.

I say it because at the end of the day, I have cooked and I have taught and I have broken up disputes and I have sinned and I have said too much and I have said too little and I have reached out and I have kept to myself, but You know, Lord, that I love You. You know, Lord, that I'm doing this thing called life for You. Often wrong. Often messing it all up. But I'm trying. Because I love You, Jesus. I just really, really love You.

And the truth is He loves first and He loves best and He gives grace to take that deep breath again, to teach, to try, to repent, to give.

I've been thinking lots about that broken and contrite spirit, the one He doesn't despise. I've been thinking about how too often I want to hide the brokenness, retreat from Him in my frailty, when I ought to be pouring it all out before Him. I ought to be letting Him make beauty from my ugly ashes. I ought to be letting Him show His glory through and in spite of this earthen vessel.

So I lay it all out again. Right in the tough moments, the ones I don't have the answers for, the ones I'm certainly not wise enough to understand, the ones I am pretty sure I'd rather shrink back from.

And He gives grace.

I want to hold back the loaves and fishes I have, embarrassed by how meager they are in relation to how great the need.

But He gives grace.

And so I give it, not because I think it is anything good or wonderful-- I know it's not-- but because You know, Lord, that I love You. I just really, really love You.

the kitchen, part II

In the past month, the kitchen has come a long way! From gutted walls and sketches on paper, to something that really does feel on the precipice of lived in.

While the drywall crew was busily making the rest of the house look good again after we'd torn everything out to add insulation, the kitchen walls sat sadly blank. This is because I'd had my heart set on replacing some old shiplap and, well, Daniel spoils me.

A brutally late night resulted in shiplap on the kitchen walls (and behind where the wood stove goes, as well):

the cooktop wall, with the doorway to the dining room

the sink wall, with the window and door into the mudroom

the wood stove corner, with all the old beams plastic'd for priming!

Once the shiplap was all installed and the walls primed and then painted, it was time to lay the floors in the kitchen area so that room would be ready for the cabinet installation. When we'd pulled up the linoleum and subfloor (both layers) in the kitchen, we'd found that there weren't the same wide plank floors in there. We were so blessed to be able to order eastern pine from a local friend/wood expert for a fraction of the cost we were finding elsewhere. He delivered the flooring to us-- all 12-18" wide boards that look incredibly like what is in the rest of the house-- and we couldn't be happier with it.

The flooring arrives!

Another late night following basketball practice for kids-- this time one I was not part of and that several friends all pitched in on instead!-- resulted in being ready just in the nick of time for the cabinets!

Old boards, all irregular and not tongue-and-groove make for a more tedious installation, but Daniel and crew persevered and it really does match the rest of the house. In fact, my mom stopped in the other day and mistook them for original floorboards. Mission accomplished.

The cabinets were made right here in the North Country by a wonderful friend and his crew. He is a top-notch cabinet maker and businessman, full of integrity and excellence. On top of that, he brought his boys to help install, which is always inspiring to Daniel and I. They're a hard-working family!

The first cabinets are brought in. Drywall expert and old neighbor stopped in to "supervise". ;)

How many 13-year-olds do you know who can help install custom cabinetry? I was impressed!

Mid-process, but coming along! And perhaps the best picture I have right now of the whole space. This shot is taken from the open-concept family room. Dining room through the doorway. Mudroom to the right.

Who's excited about two ovens? *raising both hands*

Hardware, crown, and shelf installed. The countertops are maple. Hardware is a mix of oil-rubbed bronze pulls/latches/knobs and painted wood knobs. The sink will hopefully be installed soon; it's an inexpensive farmhouse sink from Ikea that I had in our old kitchen, too, and loved so much I wanted to get it again.

Edited to add:

The past week or two this whole process of moving/renovating has started to feel l o n g (and in other arenas life has also felt, well, bumpy). I'm ready to be in my own home again! But the truth is, I'm super blessed. And sometimes I have to step back and make a record/tally up the blessings in my life. The work taking place in this wonderful new-to-us home, largely by my sacrificial husband, is just one of the many ways I see God's provision. Thanks for letting me bring you in on the process and for being listeners with whom I can count the thousands upon thousands of ways I am cared for!

everyday days

These past few months have been strange ones. The days seem eerily long in that as we cram more and more into each one, we look back and wonder, "Is it possible that it was only a week ago that _______?!" On the other hand, they are a blur of activity that means we are perpetually running short on time.

How can both be true?

I try my best to enjoy each day, even though there's this constant sense of when we're resettled in the back of my mind. In my head, when I packed all those boxes up in early November, I thought I'd have unpacked them by now. Delays in closing plus some expected-yet-unexpected expansion to the project list means we are running behind our hoped-for schedule. This doesn't come as a surprise, but just because it was somewhat predicted doesn't mean it's any easier. I am homeschooling from the hip, minus simple comforts like shelves of books that I've acquired over the years, maps, plenty of toys to keep the little boys entertained, reliable internet access, and having things set up for us. It was an adjustment at first, an adventure in the middle, and now just seems to be challenging.

Or maybe that's the February blues talking.

I'm not sure.

But it's good to step back and remember that-- despite what can easily feel like an uphill battle if we let it to be present, to enjoy the process, to sow well, to remember what God said-- these are good, good days.

Some simple everyday pleasures I've been given:

Claire-Bear is easy to teach. She plows through her books and is pretty much perfectly pleasant the entire time. She proudly completed her kindergarten math book and is now well into her 1st grade book.

The weather is weird this year and snow is very hit-or-miss, but mostly the kids get outside every single day and burn off some energy. And for the first time in her little 8-year-old life, Aubrey is out there with them the ENTIRE time.

Gabriel is holding down the fort more and more for me. Along with Bronwyn's exceptional help, he feeds, clothes, changes, and puts to bed so I can attend weddings and prayer meetings, go grocery shopping, help at the new house, and slip down to the local bakery/coffee shop to meet someone here and there. And he sends me picture updates like the one above the entire time, which is cute and fun and comforting.

No small thanks to the weird/mild weather, these girls have been laying eggs at a prolific rate this winter. When I don't know what to cook and there isn't time for much, there is always a surplus of eggs. What relief!

The Upward Basketball season is underway and we are all grateful for the opportunity to compete in an edifying environment, burn off some pent-up energy, and visit with friends!

This girl bounded out when her name was announced at her very first basketball game with all the vigor of a healthy heart!

Five lost teeth! She gets so excited about each one. I love having little ones in the home!

Just when I was feeling like I've not been doing well at giving and overseeing writing assignments this school year, I told the kids to choose their topic for a final report after our ancient Egypt study and I cringed to see the results. Two days later, they handed them to me, written out neatly and with proper punctuation and even some illustrations and poetry at the end for flare and I could feel my mama-heart cry with a reminder that it's not about me anyway. I do my best (and sometimes, I admit, not even that), but God is the One who promises to make up my lack every single day. And He does. So faithfully!