Brietta's homeschool day in the life (with a 3-, 4-, 7-, 9-, 11-, 12- & 13-year-old)

(This post is inspired by years of reading this series at Simple Homeschool.)

I grew up homeschooled and have now been homeschooling my own children for nine years. I love homeschooling and I am a firm believer in how good and healthy an option it can be for parents and children!

But this many years later, I'm still frequently daily astounded by the fact that the most constant thing in homeschooling is the need to constantly adjust, tweak, and change things: expectations, priorities, routine, curriculum, methods, and more.

I shouldn't be surprised. My children are growing. I am growing. We are not the same people we were nine years ago. There are more of us! We don't live in the same house or the same town. My husband's job doesn't look quite the same. No two of my babies has been exactly the same or needed exactly the same things. Learning to transition with each season-- some that are amazingly short-lived-- is, I think, one of the keys to an even remotely peaceful homeschooling experience.

I am learning that needing to adjust is not a sign of failure and doesn't necessarily mean I got the last plan wrong; usually, it just means that my children and I are in a different place than we were a year (or two weeks) ago. If I cheerfully adjust, it usually goes better for all of us than if I stubbornly cling to my goals of what life should look like.

This year-- with the exception of Fridays, which is the day our church's homeschooling ministry brings about 150 K-12 homeschoolers together for extracurricular classes like physical education, choir, art, and Biblical studies-- our days start a little later than previous years. My older children have more evening commitments this year and I have been battling fairly severe anemia for over a year, which makes us a bit more tired. I treasure that homeschooling means we don't have to just grit our teeth and get exhausted, but can adjust our morning routine to better accommodate our needs.

My husband is the early riser in our home. By the time the chorus of alarms goes off in bedrooms all over to wake the rest of us at 6:45, he has been up for quite some time with the two youngest (boys, who are 21 months apart in age but are almost the same exact size and are together a force to be reckoned with). He's an all-star dad, managing his personal time in the Word & prayer, starting the coffee, working out, and getting ready for the day all with the boys underfoot.

Showers begin for some while others go through their morning routine: wash hands & face, brush teeth & hair, get dressed, make your bed, pick up your room. I throw on leggings, a T-shirt, and sneakers and hop on the stationary bicycle in our bedroom while they are busy with their morning routine. When the weather is nice, I prefer going out for a short run, but even just 20 minutes on that bike makes me feel more awake. I am not a morning person. A little exercise followed by a quiet time and cup of coffee goes a long way.

Our goal is to be eating breakfast at 8:00, but true confession: it's usually 8:15 or 8:30. In addition to getting ourselves ready for the day and having personal quiet times, there are chores like making breakfast, taking care of the chickens (we have 14 laying hens), feeding the cats (3 outdoor ones), collecting laundry from all the hampers, etc. We do our best, but since about half of us aren't morning people, we're not the fastest bunch. If we're going to have a breakdown in attitudes, 9 out of 10 times it's now.

Breakfast (usually oatmeal for most, roasted veggies with poached eggs for others) is followed by family devotions right around the table. We are working very slowly through The Purpose Driven Life. Some days we have time to only read a very short portion before each praying aloud and then moving on with the day.

Today we actually sat down at 8:06. Miracles do happen.

At 9:00 we move on to our housework. Years ago I found that I resented doing school work in a messy house, spending time in the afternoon cleaning, and then only getting to enjoy it for a brief time before "play" has created a fresh whirlwind. I found that if we all take time first thing for our chores, we reap the benefits of a clean house during our school time-- and then we play. Chores vary based on age/skill of each child. The younger ones have about 30 minutes of work while the older ones have about 60 minutes.

During our chore time, I have my own tasks. I used to have a rotating schedule for myself, but now I just make lists in my planner. The list is usually longer than my day.

Today I made bread and granola. I will do anything to put off dealing with that mounting number of phone calls I need to make.

At 9:30 I call my 4-, 7-, and 9-year-old to the kitchen table for an hour of history while the oldest 3 keep working at their chores and the youngest runs laps around the kitchen island plays. The younger ones are using Story of the World Volume 2: Middle Ages this year. It's our first time trying SOTW and so far I really like it. I purchased the audio CD, textbook, and activity book. We listen to the audio together and while it's not my favorite voicing, it's so nice that I don't have to wear my own voice out! Additionally, letting someone else do the talking means I can be photocopying the accompanying activity pages while the reading is happening. I pick and choose which activities we do to best accommodate the children, my time, and our interests. I like that part of it very much.

Meanwhile, at 10:00 my two oldest have started science at the kitchen island. They are only 17 months and 1 grade apart, so they've always done history and science together. At this point, they are fairly independent. Occasionally I get brought in when an experiment is going south and always for tests, but otherwise they keep each other accountable. Their polar opposite personalities actually helps make them perfect study buddies, although it's taken a lot of years for them to even somewhat appreciate their differences.

Simultaneously, my 11-year-old has started his own science at the dining room table.

This year, I implemented small clipboards for each student with his/her daily plan plus a list for each day of the week that itemizes their assignments. They check these off as they go. It helps the older ones work more independently while allowing me to easily follow up, and it helps the younger ones take ownership of their day (they've stopped asking me "When am I going to be done?" because they can see for themselves).

At 10:30 we switch spots: the 3 younger school kids begin phonics, handwriting, and math around the kitchen island (today so that I can do the next step in bread making) while the oldest 3 all start in on history around the table. We've used Beautiful Feet on and off for years. If I can't be writing my own history curriculum, it's my favorite thing to use. I do my best to "float" between my six students, but this requires a lot of discipline on my part to not spend the entire hour doing history-- my favorite subject-- with the older kids. I would get lost following every bunny trail if I could!

The 3-year-old is still running laps around us playing. I do my best to get him set up with toys at intervals throughout the morning, but after a short time, he usually resorts to something more active (and loud) than GIJoes or Legos. Occasionally I get desperate and put in a DVD. I comfort myself with the idea that it's educational???

At around 11:30 Bronwyn, my oldest daughter (12), starts making lunch. She has a rotation of simple recipes she cooks through. Today while the onions are sautéing and the rice is cooking, she does some Scripture copywork in a simple leather bound journal. The 13-year-old does his copywork and then practices guitar, the 11-year-old does math and typing, the 9- & 7-year-old keep chipping away at math, phonics, and handwriting, and the 4-year-old has joined the 3-year-old in watching the movie.

12:30 is lunch. We all eat together. I check in with everyone to see how things are going.

1:00 my middle 3 clean up while I lay the youngest down for his nap and my oldest 2 start math, which usually takes them about 40-60 minutes (especially my oldest, who has begun his first year of algebra and has realized some equations just take a while!), followed by some writing and other extra-curricular homework assignments.

1:30 I do science with the 4-, 7- & 9-year-old. My 11-year-old works on some writing assignments.

Around 2:30 or 3:00 we are all done. If we don't have anywhere we need to be and the weather is decent, I'll send them outside. Often they do some nature journaling.

I've done my best through the past few years to schedule all music/dance lessons for Monday afternoons, although this year my 9-year-old is starting a violin program that schedules lessons for both Mondays and Wednesdays. Thursday afternoons we have a collaborative literature study group with a few other families. I try hard to only schedule things (even doctors appointments, etc) for after 2:30 on school days. It doesn't always work out that nicely, but we do our best.

Today we had literature group and left a bit early in order to run a few errands. This meant that the 13-year-old had unfinished math waiting for him when we got home a bit before 4:00.

I start making dinner sometime around then. It depends on the menu. Roasts take longer but the prep is done sooner (like in the morning). Tonight, because of literature group, it's celeriac and potato soup with homemade bread and jam. As I chop and stir, I work on helping my 9-year-old memorize lines for an upcoming medieval history display night presentation.

My husband is a pastor and often is gone during the couple hours after dinner. Additionally, our two oldest have more commitments/activities during the evening hours than previous years. Those of us at home generally keep it simple. The truth is, by this time I don't have ambition for much besides tying up loose ends (like that load of laundry I forgot about in the washer) and taking a shower. The kids play games, do a challenging puzzle, or watch a show (a friend lent us The Andy Griffith Show and it is by far the current favorite). Occasionally we'll have people over for dinner and to spend the evening with us when my husband is home, but due to an illness my 11-year-old was diagnosed with in late September that makes him very susceptible to bacterial and viral infections, we've had to limit that-- and anyway, we generally prioritize hospitality on the weekends.

If we're all home, my husband is the fun coordinator. He always jokes that God put him in my life so that I have a life. Haha.

Reading is very important to us, so even our oldest kids head to bed between 8 and 8:30 to spend time with a book of their choosing. Some recent in-bed reading has been the Little House collection, the Jack Staples books, the Anne of Green Gables series,  and The Wrinkle In Time boxed set. My husband has always been a morning person and likes to go to bed earlier rather than later, and I have learned that I function better during the day when I'm well rested, so even if he's been out with meetings we are both usually lights out between 10 and 10:30.

Right now, all our kids sleep through the night. This feels rare and precious. It's been the first year since I started homeschooling my children that I can say that. I don't take it for granted! Especially the next morning when the alarms go off and we start a new day.

This is the general flow of our Mondays - Thursdays.

I hope you don't think that it is all smooth sailing. There are many bumps. The time frame is general and loose. We have a lot of fun, but we also have a lot of challenges. I think most all of us could say that, no matter what our lives look like! Today didn't happen to include a moment when I called everyone to an abrupt halt and emphatically declared, "Things are not going well. Our attitudes are not glorifying the God who we love and serve. Let's pray!" but many, many days do. Often, I have to call kids back to re-do chores and/or school assignments that were done haphazardly, sometimes multiple times. Sometimes my kids cry. Sometimes I cry. And then an hour later we might be laughing about a funny story, or discussing what true freedom is, or exulting in an exciting science project gone right (for once!).

One of my favorite things about homeschooling? We do all those moments together.

everyday days

These past few months have been strange ones. The days seem eerily long in that as we cram more and more into each one, we look back and wonder, "Is it possible that it was only a week ago that _______?!" On the other hand, they are a blur of activity that means we are perpetually running short on time.

How can both be true?

I try my best to enjoy each day, even though there's this constant sense of when we're resettled in the back of my mind. In my head, when I packed all those boxes up in early November, I thought I'd have unpacked them by now. Delays in closing plus some expected-yet-unexpected expansion to the project list means we are running behind our hoped-for schedule. This doesn't come as a surprise, but just because it was somewhat predicted doesn't mean it's any easier. I am homeschooling from the hip, minus simple comforts like shelves of books that I've acquired over the years, maps, plenty of toys to keep the little boys entertained, reliable internet access, and having things set up for us. It was an adjustment at first, an adventure in the middle, and now just seems to be challenging.

Or maybe that's the February blues talking.

I'm not sure.

But it's good to step back and remember that-- despite what can easily feel like an uphill battle if we let it to be present, to enjoy the process, to sow well, to remember what God said-- these are good, good days.

Some simple everyday pleasures I've been given:

Claire-Bear is easy to teach. She plows through her books and is pretty much perfectly pleasant the entire time. She proudly completed her kindergarten math book and is now well into her 1st grade book.

The weather is weird this year and snow is very hit-or-miss, but mostly the kids get outside every single day and burn off some energy. And for the first time in her little 8-year-old life, Aubrey is out there with them the ENTIRE time.

Gabriel is holding down the fort more and more for me. Along with Bronwyn's exceptional help, he feeds, clothes, changes, and puts to bed so I can attend weddings and prayer meetings, go grocery shopping, help at the new house, and slip down to the local bakery/coffee shop to meet someone here and there. And he sends me picture updates like the one above the entire time, which is cute and fun and comforting.

No small thanks to the weird/mild weather, these girls have been laying eggs at a prolific rate this winter. When I don't know what to cook and there isn't time for much, there is always a surplus of eggs. What relief!

The Upward Basketball season is underway and we are all grateful for the opportunity to compete in an edifying environment, burn off some pent-up energy, and visit with friends!

This girl bounded out when her name was announced at her very first basketball game with all the vigor of a healthy heart!

Five lost teeth! She gets so excited about each one. I love having little ones in the home!

Just when I was feeling like I've not been doing well at giving and overseeing writing assignments this school year, I told the kids to choose their topic for a final report after our ancient Egypt study and I cringed to see the results. Two days later, they handed them to me, written out neatly and with proper punctuation and even some illustrations and poetry at the end for flare and I could feel my mama-heart cry with a reminder that it's not about me anyway. I do my best (and sometimes, I admit, not even that), but God is the One who promises to make up my lack every single day. And He does. So faithfully!

Upward basketball

It's another year of Upward Basketball and, boy, do we just keep loving it!

Right in the midst of the winter season when it's hard to find opportunities for kids to run around and be active, they get to play basketball with friends twice a week right at our local church. It's a pretty sweet deal!

The three oldest kids are all playing again. This is Gabriel's seventh and final year, Jackson's fourth year, and Bronwyn's third year. Bronwyn has surprised me in the past twelve months by showing a good amount of athleticism after years of being less than interested.

The little girls still weren't interested. They'd rather color pictures in the bleachers. But who knows? Maybe one or both of them will pull a Bronwyn and suddenly come out of the woodwork with this stuff!

We're so thankful for all the volunteered investment so many make to put Upward together. The kids have great coaches who love them and fear God. They foster an environment of encouragement and healthy perspective.

And, of course, it's a great time each week to see people we love and spend time together!

The Paladins are big fans of Upward Basketball!

winter cleaning

Is winter cleaning a thing?

Because, confession: that's when I do mine!

Deeper than any spring or fall cleaning; and far more necessary for my soul, that's for sure.

I've discovered this pattern about myself: every winter, there comes a morning when I wake up and I look around and I am convinced I live in a pig sty. The wear and tear of a big family cooped up within 4 walls for cold day after cold day with the windows shut tight becomes unbearably noticeable and I can't take it for another minute. The dingy upholstery, the dusty corners, the cluttered shelves, the fingerprint-stained windows, oh my!

Some years, I've almost had a meltdown on this day. But this year, as I tearfully told Daniel over a cup of coffee that I thought I was going to lose it, he said, "Brietta, you do this every year. Instead of fighting it, just take the day off from schoolwork and clean the house. Have the little boys watch Little Bear or something and get the older kids all helping you. You'll feel better and, good heavens, nothing will be hurt by a deep cleaning!"

(Why does he always have to cut through my drama and just simplify things like that?!?!)

So that's what we did. I gave one kid a dust mop, another our window cleaning cloths, another a dust cloth, another a vacuum. I followed with the mop bucket and rag. We worked from the mudroom all the way through the house and up the stairs. Furniture got pulled out, couch cushions got turned over, slipcovers went into the washing machine, cabinets got scrubbed, bookshelves got tidied. My downstairs is pretty straight-forward since we don't have any closets down there or many toys. A thorough cleaning transforms it from gray to bright in no time.

The reward for cleaning the entire first floor of the house was a deep cleaning and reorganizing of the girls' bedroom. I love rearranging a room.

Things got a little exciting at one point as I was heaving a full-sized bed mattress around by myself in a rather crowded room, but we got every nook and cranny of that room cleaned and every toy reorganized and at the end of the day, we put the beds and dressers and doll things in different spots and it looked clean and fresh and the girls' eyes were dancing with delight.

And the next day, I woke up as if nothing had happened and as though the world had always been a peaceful, happy place and nothing stressed me out and we opened the math books and mapped some World War II battles and learned about Pluto together.

Honestly, I really do think winter cleaning should be a thing if it isn't already!

He won't grow weary

By dinnertime Monday evening, I was fried. It had been that kind of Monday for our family. The kind when we all tried quite unsuccessfully to recover from a busy and long weekend while getting a good jump on the week. I was snippy, I was losing my patience, I was annoyed.

"Jesus, I'm sorry for today. Help me enjoy the process," I prayed that night after I wearily tucked my children into bed, repenting to each one individually for my harshness, short-temper, and general irritation.

I get tired of hearing myself pray that. So, so, so tired. And sometimes-- a lot of times-- I am arrogant enough to superimpose my weariness with myself on Christ.

The truth of the matter is that He doesn't grow weary with me. 7x70 times, He forgives me. A broken and contrite spirit He will not deny.

Yesterday in the later afternoon, as I sat in the sunshine, enjoying the brilliant colors of this spectacular autumn, listening to my children play, nursing my baby, relishing the fact that even though the prior few days had been far from perfect, they had been joy-filled days, I realized that He had-- once again-- come to my rescue. In the midst of my exhaustion and defeat, He heard my repentance (repentance uttered in much doubt, if I'm honest) and He was again meeting me in my place of need.

No filter, guys. Just beautiful sunlight and a smooshy baby to kiss.

September beauty

Only three weeks into September and I feel that we have already lived the full gamut of what a homeschooling year looks like: highs, lows, successes, failures. Days I wake up excited and ready to go; days I wake up needing to dig deep into what I know to be true in order to put my hand to the plow again.

I was pretty reluctant heading into this new school year. Summer seemed so brief, so fleeting this year. I wanted just a little more, please.

But September came knocking, uninvited though she was. I dusted off the school cupboard, bought new pencils and paper, piled the basket high with library books, and took a deep breath.

And... wouldn't you know... September has been wonderful?

Wonderful in a crazy, emotion-filled, all-over-the-place, real life way.

Wonderful because all along the way-- if I stop long enough to look at the pictures on my phone!-- I realize how gently and faithfully and kindly He leads me.

(This glass-half-empty girl needs these pictures.
I need lots and lots of them.)

nature journals and mid-afternoon snacks

before dinner walks around the block

paper dolls and sister togetherness
 

easy entertainment

Saturday morning treats from Anastasia's Bakery

truth

diagramming sentences: my favorite!

 much-needed reminders on chaotic days

good old North Country beauty

(I think it's a good thing I'm usually too fried in the hectic moments to take pictures!)

putting the Big Rocks in first

Years ago, when I first began this homeschooling journey, I knew that I wanted to embrace The Four Pillars of Christian Homeschooling that my own dear mother had stumbled upon and walked out and taught. I wanted this homeschooling thing to be about so much more than just academics. I agreed with her: I wanted it to be about firstly loving God, then loving home & family, then loving work, and then loving learning.

But how to make it practical and tangible in our daily ins and outs, I wondered?

I was very convinced that I needed to arrange my day so that not only was I telling my kids that this was the order of importance, but so that we were living it. I can't drum up love in their hearts for any of these things-- this is the work of the Holy Spirit-- but prayerfully I can live an example and create an environment that cooperates with and fosters this work!

And so our morning routine began seven years ago, when I had a 5-1/2-year-old boy as my only pupil and his three younger siblings (ages 4, 2-1/2, and 1) tagging along, with putting the Big Rocks in first.

Personal quiet times, even before they could really read and write.

Take a few minutes, look at that picture Bible, talk to Jesus, ask Him to speak to you.

Then, as learning progressed and years passed by, blank journals given so they can write in them: thoughts, impressions from what they're reading, prayer requests. At age 9 or 10, we've begun giving them as their Christmas or birthday gift a genuine leather Bible with their name embossed on it, and it is joy unspeakable that my oldest two prize these books as some of their most precious belongings.

Breakfast together, as much as possible. Whether it's just the kids (maybe I simply have to take a shower then because of something scheduled shortly after), the kids and I, or the entire family, I try very hard to make this one of the consistent things we do each day. Not so much because there's anything intrinsically important about a shared breakfast, but because it's an opportunity to early on each morning reinforce that family-- these relationships right here in the home-- matters. And this way, even if the rest of the day falls apart and we barely get a chance to breathe from here on in, we've had this time together.

How are you? How did you sleep? What are you excited about today? Did you read anything interesting in your quiet time?

Thirty minutes for us to connect over food. We read from our devotional, talk, memorize Scripture, pray.

Chores come next. In addition to this serving the practical purpose of getting things within our jurisdiction in order so that we can have more productive school time, learning to work hard is an important skill. I tell my kids all the time that when they are grown, their employer(s) will be far more impressed by how they can roll up their sleeves and get the job done than by how many facts they can rattle off, or how terrific their ideas are, or how smart they seem. Not that those things are bad (they aren't!), but are you also able to clean the toilet, swing the hammer, wash their feet when necessary?

Do what's asked without complaining. Work cheerfully as unto the Lord. Go above and beyond the call of duty. Serve.

This curriculum proves to be a lasting one. I need the reminders as often as they do!

Then learning, and how I pray this hunger for learning only increases in each of them! I don't want their education to be a series of facts put to memory, a book load of information filed away, data that has been downloaded; I want them to be curious about, excited for, drawn to, and always learning! I want them to learn a lifestyle of learning and I want it-- whatever it is at that particular moment-- to come alive.

I begin our school mornings with reading out loud to them, not because they can't read the same exact material on their own (three of them can), but because I like the practice of them learning to engage in this way.

What do you think of this? How would they have felt? Tell me what you just saw/heard! Do you see how orderly that is? What does this tell you about God?

We do things together as much as possible: science and history and nature journaling. We take the work outside, we accompany it with hot tea on cold mornings, we let ourselves travel down bunny trails, we create and draw and explore.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly generous, we even make a mess! (Ha!)

I'm thankful for seven years under our belt now of building upon these practices, of "emptying the jar" regularly in order to make sure we really are getting the Big Rocks in first. And guess what? The workbooks, the test, the line upon line, precept upon precept gets done! It calls to mind this verse:

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.

Don’t worry about missing out.

You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Matthew 6:33

When we are obedient to what He's asking us to do, all else falls into its proper place. Perhaps it gets done, perhaps it doesn't. But what matters it that you did the most important things.

Perhaps you haven't yet decided what are the Big Rocks-- the most important goals-- in your home and for your family. May I suggest that you read The Four Pillars of Christian Homeschooling as a great place to work from?

Or perhaps you have the Big Rocks figured out, but the pressure of a culture that idolizes academics combined with the burden of trying to prove something as a homeschooling family has caused you to get in a rut of prioritizing something that isn't actually most important to you. I love the new school year and then the new calendar year for assessing and getting back on track!

Your Big Rocks may be the same as mine, but look different in practical outworking. That's okay! Just make sure you're doing them!

details on chore charts and flow charts and daily charts

Now that I've gotten into why I make these charts, here are some details about what is our day:

After playing around with wake-up times, I've settled into an approach that firstly values my kids getting the sleep they need and secondly accounts for making sure we're getting the important things done before I've completely lost all hope for the day's productivity (ha!). There was no great scientific study that went into this. I simply noted what time they were all generally awake by and went from there. For us, this is 7:30am. They pretty much have to be sick to sleep later than that. It's just the way they are. After that, I figured out the "big rocks" for our family-- the things that are the most important in each day for us-- and put those in first so that even if the train of our day totally derails, we have usually finished what I truly care most about.

(More on the "big rocks" another time.)

By 7:30am, I have changed diapers, wiped the sleep from my eyes, had my personal quiet time, and tied my running shoes. Sometimes I've had a chance to start breakfast prep or make my bed, but those are the really good days and not the norm, I'm afraid. I head out the door while the troops all prepare themselves for the day (often, the little girls are already dressed by then since they tend to rise shortly after the little boys). If Daniel is home, he watches the little boys (he's always had his quiet time and gone running or is home from a meeting by this time, as he's a natural-born morning person!); if he's not home, I throw them in the double stroller and leave the older 5 behind. This is a perk to having fairly competent and responsible 10- and 11-year-olds in the house (hang in there, Mama of little ones: your day will come!), but I'm not sure how it will work once the temperature is -15 degrees outside.

Around 8am, I am back so Bronwyn watches Elliot while Gabriel or Jackson makes breakfast and I oversee. The little girls often get a jump on their housework for the day.

Breakfast and family devotions around the table. Daniel likes to be home for this, but it doesn't always happen and that's okay. We've been working through Leading Little Ones To God for the past year or so, taking breaks from the book at times to talk about things that come up and need to be talked about and addressed. I've used a couple different devotionals over the years and this is my favorite so far.

At 9am, we get to our chores. A big and little kid are partnered for every meal clean up. Other chores at this time include cleaning various rooms of the house, checking on the chickens' food & water and collecting any eggs that have been laid, starting beans or soup for lunch, making granola, etc. Oh, and I try to get a shower somewhere during this hour.

School work keeps us busy from 10-12:30. We begin with read aloud, which includes all the kids. Then we do history or science (alternating days), which is also combined. After that, it's like a puzzle, making sure the two computers are available for the right kids for math (they take turns with it while working at language and handwriting) and keeping Elliot and Oliver busy while I work one-on-one with Aubrey.

Lunch is at 12:30pm. Bronwyn mostly makes it with help from me based on the predetermined menu plan: rice bowls, soup, PB&J, tuna lettuce wraps, etc.

From 1-2pm, kids go outside for play and fresh air and I try to join them for at least part of it if at all possible. Oliver usually goes down for his nap somewhere between lunch and this time.

At 2pm, I put Elliot down for his nap and call kids in. The little girls rest with books while the older three kids work on various assignments.

From 3pm on, I try to make sure they mostly have free time. Daniel's day off is on Tuesday and he's started giving Gabriel guitar lessons, which is simply replacing what was the old piano lesson slot for the duration of this semester. Literature group on Thursdays means our post-lunch schedule is all a little different and Friday School on Friday means our day is entirely different (and the best, as far as the kids are concerned-- and I think it's pretty terrific, too!).

I have a whole hour for dinner so that we can eat a little late if need be, linger around the table when possible, or eat at the front-end in order for Daniel to get out the door for evening meetings. At 6:00pm, the Kitchen Patrol crew gets busy while the others do a House Blitz (every single room in the house gets a quick tidy). After that, we rotate movies, wii, and board games in the evening hours. It's extra-special when Daddy is home for it!

Here is a sample schedule for inquiring minds. I know it's not the clearest image, but hopefully you can read it okay. I just use Pages and make a table-- it's nothing fancy. I have one of these for each of my four "school kids". Aubrey can't read it on her own yet, but it helps to have something I can have one of the other kids read to her when my brain is just too tired to figure out what she should be working on at any given moment.

Oh! One thought: my older kids are getting to the point where they can't always finish an assignment in the given time slot or, for example, I've checked their language and handwriting while we eat lunch and they have some things they need to correct/re-do. For the sake of computer and instrument and my personal schedule/routine, I have them simply close the book/chapter/lesson and get to the next thing; they can use some of their free time to finish the assignment later on. (Generally, this doesn't happen often or take very long!) The only assignment that most often takes place outside of designated "school" time is reading, which they do at night. Even the older three are in bed at 8pm, but they each have a bed lamp and are allowed to read for up to an hour.

And a final note: this is what we get back on track with. It doesn't happen everyday or even mostly everyday! Sometimes I slow it down because I want to deep clean the kitchen/school area (*ahem* Monday *ahem*), or there's a dental or doctor appointment for some/all, or the weather is beautiful and I decide we're going to eat a picnic lunch at the park (*ahem* yesterday *ahem*), or somebody had a new baby and getting a special meal made for them is the most important thing of the day, or one/more of the kids is sick and half my day is spent tending to them, etc. Our schedule is simply what we get back to when we're aiming for a routine day. My oldest son is a very orderly, rule-oriented person by nature and I am constantly reminding him that I made the schedule and I get to break it!

So make those routines, Mamas, and set expectations that are realistic yet growth-oriented. But please don't let some idea of what the perfect school week looks like become a burdensome thing. This is just one more tool in your tool belt. The goal is not to obey the routine; the goal is to raise up arrows who know what it is to love God, work hard, serve their family, and cherish learning!

on chore charts and flow charts and daily charts

**I often feel reluctant/apprehensive when sharing our "systems." Not everyone is a list or a chart kind of person, and that's okay. No two families will benefit from the same routines, and that is wonderful! That said, I also know how much I appreciate seeing what others do. Even if I don't utilize a single specific idea shared, it often is enough to get the "juices" flowing afresh for me and my own home, so here goes nothing!**

First off, please know that, even for me-- someone whose mind thinks in terms of structure, patterns, charts, and systems-- the realities of life with babies and toddlers and young children forces me to let go of some a lot of my need/desire for systems. Oh, these years can be trying on my soul! Every ten minutes requiring new evaluation for what is a reasonable expectation of behavior and productivity! Flexibility, the name of the game! Holding plans loosely becomes essential and being quick to readjust priorities imperative!

Let me be clear that a structure, schedule, flow chart, system needs to serve you and your family. You are not a slave to it. It's there to help you. And when it doesn't help, don't think twice about making exceptions or throwing the whole thing out the window!

So yes: flexibility is key.

But even since they were very little I've had chore charts of some variety because as much as children require flexibility, they also benefit tremendously from routine-- even if it's just the routine of how we wake up and how we go to bed.

Around here, first it was a traced hand with our basic Five Fingers routine hung in the bedroom when I had just four little ones, then ages 4-1/2 and under. Then pictures of additional tasks on magnets on the fridge got added in. Another year, a wheel that rotated responsibilities. In the last several years, it's as simple as columns and rows. Sometimes rewards and checkpoints of different kinds accompany these columns and rows, but for three years the columns and rows don't change except to expand and challenge and stretch my young charges.

These days, it's five kids all pitching in to help while the two littlest ones tag along. We work together. I have my jobs while they have theirs. Chicken duty, meal prep, bathrooms and bedrooms. Sweeping and vacuuming and dusting and washing and baking. There are extra things that come up; days when I scratch the "normal" list and make one that is much more comprehensive, perhaps in anticipation of a holiday or trip or party.

Chores have been a constant these years. Work is important. When and how that takes place has changed over the years, but always there.

Always as unto the Lord, though.

Always, I try to tell them: we do it well because He is always watching and He is always worth our best effort, our sincerest worship.

Gradually, as homeschooling year rolled into homeschooling year, we settled into a consistent morning routine: Five Fingers, personal quiet time, breakfast prep, breakfast & family (sometimes with Daniel, sometimes not) devotions, chores. These things almost always come before we get into the school books. Clean children + a clean house = better productivity, in my experience.

(But maybe we're weird like that.)

Still, that was really it in terms of a "schedule".

But last year as I approached my second year of homeschooling four children who are fairly close together in age with two-going-on-three little ones underfoot, I realized that for all the years I had spent letting go, this was the time to regain some more structure.

Only now, not so much for my sake as for theirs.

For my oldest three children, in particular, there needed to be more ahead-of-time knowledge about what a good school day looked like from my perspective. They are not mind-readers. And the training of having them come to me and ask, "What's next?" was actually starting to drive me batty: "Gabe, I am changing a diaper while Aubrey is sounding out letters in my ear and Claire just dumped the entire basket of Little People all over the floor right next to me and Jackson is running the vacuum while Bronwyn is washing dishes to the tune of top-of-the-lungs-singing. I have no idea what's next, so for the love of everything peaceful, please don't ask me, What's next!!!!"

So not only does more structure helps them to know in advance what I want from them, it also relieves me of trying to stay one step ahead of each kid, which was just leaving my head spinning.

Thus, our daily "schedule".

It's written down according to times, but let me let you in on a secret: it's really more of a general outline! I have to estimate about how long things will take simply so that our mornings aren't perpetually running into our afternoons, so that the piano is free for each kid at a time they can use it, so that everyone gets a computer when required for various subjects, etc, but that's really all the more reason why there are times on the chart. Breakfast sometimes gets eaten earlier, history sometimes takes longer, etc.

This has all been so helpful around here because now my three oldest kids don't have to ask me, What's next? They simply reference the chart and work through their day in a fairly self-governed way. Life saving for all of us, I tell you.

Now, it's nothing fancy. But it helps them know what to anticipate. It helps them keep at the things they need to be at whether or not I am tied up with little ones.

We are by no means a well-oiled machine. There are hiccups regularly. I have learned to not measure the success of a plan or a routine by whether or not it is flawless; none of them are. But is it realistic? Is it stretching them while not crushing them? Is there time for them to be children: to play and draw and dream? Are they getting the sleep they need? Are they learning new responsibilities?

We adjust. We tighten up. We grow. We adapt.

Prayerfully faster and with more flexibility than we did yesterday!

Next: what's on the daily schedule.

preparing for a new school year

The end of the summer is a time of gearing up in our home, as it is in most homes, I suppose.

I also find that it's consistently a time of reflection for me.

When we close the books in late May each spring, I am too glad to be done with the school year for much consideration or analysis of any kind! That always comes a few months later as I clean out the school shelves in preparation for new arrivals (yes, I admit to being the mom who simply closes the cupboard door instead of putting things away properly on that final school day!), as I revamp the chore charts and consider areas my children have grown in and areas they yet need to progress in, as I begin to mull over what our priorities for this year should be based on what worked and didn't work last year, as I wrap my mind around the fact that my children are growing at the speed of light and-- oh!-- my heart might break as I try to keep up.

our school cupboard: nothing beautiful or professional or earth-shattering, but it works.

I feel like I learned a lot last year.

About how to manage the needs of the varying ages in my home. About how to prioritize the one struggling to read even though I just want to pore over the history books and articles with my oldest one. About how to pace ourselves so that learning and school is a success. About how to set individual and unique goals for each one. About how to ask for help when I just don't know how.

But now it's time for a new year.

I sit down and process. Lists start flowing. Books get ordered when necessary and requested from the library when possible. In one fell swoop I empty the school shelves and throw almost everything I possibly can away: workbooks from last year that represent hard work and character formed and minds applied fill the trash bin to overflowing. The chore chart gets rearranged in order to stretch and challenge each child a bit more so that they can be shaped a bit more into the young man/woman they are becoming.

our daily guide and objectives-- I took time this year to make one for each child since I'm realizing my older children, in particular, benefit from knowing ahead of time what I more or less expect from them each day.
 

This year, though, along with the dreams and goals and visions I have of what I want to see in them, I am acutely and almost painfully aware of what I want to see in me.

I want to lead in kindness.
I want to liberally praise growth and effort and good works.
I want to instruct patiently.
I want to laugh more.
I want to pull the little ones close and read one more book every. single. day.
I want to hold my tongue.
I want to be thankful.
I want to be quicker to pray and slower to lecture.

Eight years ago, when Jackson was just a baby, I heard a wise woman speak about how we bring our children home to change them, but God brings them home to change us.

I feel this so strong: I want to look more like Jesus this year.

And as acutely aware I am of how much growth I need, I am equally aware of how unable I am to produce this in myself. This is Holy Spirit fruit.

I am His pupil and He is the teacher. He gives me my curriculum:

Draw near to God.
Abide in the vine.
Keep His commands.
Come boldly before the throne of grace.
Walk in the way in which you were called.
Delight in His law.
Give thanks in everything.
Pray without ceasing.

I am thankful that He is the Good Teacher; the Faithful Father; the Completer; the Provision I need. I cling to this promise that as I give myself to the process, He is the Potter and He is at work in me.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Philippians 1:6, The Message

summer time

When in April we finalized plans to join Daniel's extended family for their annual camping trip over Memorial Day weekend, May 22nd became my goal for finishing our homeschooling 2013-2014 school year and objectives. Years ago I learned not to fret if we didn't finish every work page and if certain goals had to be trimmed down or abandoned altogether before we called it quits, but I also have a deep desire to teach my kids some "stick-to-it-ive-ness" and so I do like to set some clear finish lines.

We did it! By the skin of our teeth and the day before leaving-- as Gabriel plugged his headphones into the laptop for his very last math lesson and quiz, we headed out for our final literature group session (for the school year), and I finished the last chapter in our read aloud while kids folded laundry that needed to be packed-- we did it!

Since coming home, we have fully transitioned into Summer Mode.

It looks like a lot of baseball and softball! When we offered to all three of our oldest kids the opportunity to play this year, knowing they would all be on different teams and different schedules, we knew it would be a commitment.

Is it too much? Is this what we should be doing with so much of our time? I wondered. 

Five weeks, Brietta. I feel like we can and should give them five weeks. I want them to know that in the midst of all sorts of commitments and sacrifice, we can give them these next five weeks.

And so we are in the midst of that, and I have to say that even when I'm frazzled from trying to get dinner on the table each night by 4:30pm in order to get out the door on time, and as the babies are crying through their 8:30 and 9pm baths because we didn't get home any sooner, and as I arrange rides and Daniel and I go our separate ways to get each player to the field s/he needs to be at, I really am loving it.

I love the game. I love the sparkle in my children's eyes, how their cheeks flush with each success, watching their hearts grapple with disappointment, hearing their words of thanks and appreciation flow.

And while they pitch and bat and throw (and, yes, Jackson also plays, but I don't have any pictures of him because with Daniel as his coach, I really don't get to his games very often since I am busy running one of the others to their game), I also get time with the younger ones. Time to work on sitting still, time to laugh and tell stories, time to teach them about the game and about support and about cheering, time to watch them play with the few toys they brought and hear how absolutely hilarious their imaginations are!

It's been special in many ways.

Summer Mode has also looked like flowers.

Last year I itched to enlarge my flower garden, which I began 8 years ago and have made bigger bit by bit since then, but refrained because I didn't know what this spring would look like. Oliver has proven to be the kind of baby who lets me play in the garden, so with Mother's Day money from Daniel in hand, I purchased a few more plants and, along with three hand-me-downs from others, enlarged this tiny bit of land that I am converting just a tad more.

Finally having enough plants to produce regular cuttings for indoors has only inspired me to keep going, and so I am already making plans for what I would like to add next year!

It's also looked like laundry on my [recently repaired] clothesline, which is one of my most favorite things. I love my whites to be white, so while I indulge every so often on some bleach during the winter months, I am so thankful when I can use the natural sunlight to eliminate stains and brighten our clothes again!

And, of course, with the increasing concerns in recent years and especially this year about ticks and Lyme disease, we do daily tick-checks (the kids all know who they're supposed to help!) and Daniel wakes me from a fitful sleep in which I am moaning about ticks and I fret to friends both online and in real life about suspicious rashes and bumps that always turn out to be irritated mosquito bites.

Summer Mode wouldn't be Summer Mode without a project-- big or small-- or two. I don't have big chunks of time due to a certain 5-month-old so I don't think I'll be painting the kitchen or anything like that this year, but I'm hoping to knock out some small things that I dream about but don't have time for during the school year.

Things like purchasing a new-to-us highchair and giving both our old one and the new one a fresh facelift so that my two little boys will both be well accommodated at our meal table. (Not that Oliver will be eating, but he already loves to be part of whatever it is we're doing!)

Speaking of Oliver, he will be six months old in twelve short days and I just don't know where the time has gone.

He is a delight.

And he often gets confused by strangers for a girl, regardless of what he's wearing. One woman recently said to me, "His hair is too thick and pretty to be a boy!" I just smile and reassure them that I now have two sons with beautiful red hair and the older one never gets mistaken for a girl, so I'm not too worried about him.

Yes, our Oliver Richard who completely fills out his 6-9 month sleepers and weighs roughly 20lbs (he hasn't seen a doctor since he was 12 days old, but I stood on the scale with him the other day) and rolls himself under the couch and contentedly lets most anyone hold him and smiles and smiles and smiles.

Summer Mode is also including a summer session of literature group, a fresh batch of books to read from the library, a special read aloud list, adjusted chores to deal with the influx of grass and dirt and mud that get tracked indoors, getting back into some semblance of a running routine for both Daniel and I, eating outdoors as often as possible, looking forward to and then enjoying our CSA fruits & veggies, and hopefully taking some time to just be together as a family.

Bring. it. on.