Relationships

I wrote yesterday briefly about how I am striving to keep relationships-- people-- as the priority of my life. This doesn't come naturally to me. I am a very goal/task-oriented person. Crossing projects off my list gives me great, great delight and satisfaction. Having those projects interrupted really grates one me.

But I try. I really, really, really do. Because several years ago I learned a hard lesson: when I get stuck in that cycle of tasks and goals, I work and work and work and then, eventually, I realize I'm lonely. And I want someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone to be with. The problem at that point is that I've used up my best energy all that time on my pet projects so that now, when I want someone around, I don't have someone I feel particularly close to.

Which may be why it meant so much to me on my most recent birthday when my family and several friends shared about how they always know they can stop by and that I will just spend time with them. On the way home from that celebration, Daniel looked at me and said, "You're doing it, hon. People know you're available for them whenever they might need you."

Sometimes, it's easy to wonder if I'm growing at all. I feel like I face the same giants over and over and over again, and often I feel like I'm doing worse and worse and worse when it comes to defeating them. It's so good to pause for a bit and realize that the Holy Spirit really is changing me from the inside out.

I haven't arrived, that's for sure. It's still a battle for me, particularly during those weeks when I feel so driven to accomplish things. But knowing that I've come a bit farther encourages me to keep praying and making those efforts to change.

In God's economy, there isn't anything more valuable than people. They are the prize Jesus focused on when He went to the Cross. They are the reward He's coming back for one day. I want to really care about what He really cares about.

And it's not the condition of my kitchen sink.