Today is my baby boy's birthday.

It's pretty hard to believe that only one year ago I was discouraged and worn by labor. While I had been laboring  on-and-off for much of the previous three days, it seemed to always be on at night, making sleep virtually impossible. I was 4cm Thursday morning; by Sunday morning I had been in earnest labor since 6pm the night before. At 10:00am on January 15th, I was at the tail end of my "parking" at 8cm and 3 hours away from delivering Jack. I was feeling hopeless and ready to abandon everything. Well, I was feeling those things between the 10-20 second intervals of 90-second, often-piggy-back contractions that lasted upwards of 3 hours, that is...

Even harder to believe, though, is that Jackson has only been around for one year. How was our family our family without him?? I'm so glad God gave him to us.

Last night, as I thought about how fleeting infancy is, I felt tears welling in my eyes. I already struggle to remember a lot of the details surrounding Gabriel as a baby--looking at pictures helps jog foggy memories of songs we sang and games he liked, but really, much has become a blur; and I wonder how long it will take before the already-fading memories of Jackson's newborn scent, his scrawny arms, and his tiny cry are relegated to photo albums.

Still, I am glad to celebrate with my baby. I remind myself why God gives life. I am again renewed in my excitement to see Jackson become a boy who loves Jesus, then a young man who is zealous for the Kingdom, and then an adult who is able to bear the weight of His glory. How blessed Daniel and I are to have such a firsthand glimpse of His work in our children's lives!

For now, here are some things that make Jackson a special and unique part of our family:

--he delights us all as he continues to look completely unlike Daniel or I. We jokingly say that should we ever adopt children, we wouldn't have to feel badly that they don't bear a physical resemblance to the rest of us! Jack's red (orange, if you want to be truthful) hair, white lashes and brows, peaches n' cream complexion, and grey eyes are all traits that neither Daniel or I can take credit for. It's so fun to see how different all children are!

--he patiently endures a lot of pushing, shoving, and bully-ing from his older siblings, but has developed a quietly strong response. There are rarely tears when he has been abused in some way; instead there is almost always a subtle determination to take back what was taken or get right back up where he was. I don't anticipate him being the verbose or crowd-pleasing sort, but I also don't see him being quite as laid-back as we'd all first guessed he would be.

--he loves wrestling with Daddy, Gabriel, and Bronwyn, completely undeterred by how much smaller he is than the other parties involved. He "growls" and tumbles with the best of them!

--everything about Jackson is round: his head, his eyes, his cheeks, his mouth...

--he loves to nurse, which thrills me. Gabriel and Bronwyn were quickly ready to abandon nursing the minute "real" food was introduced, but Jackson still prefers nursing to the bits of table-food I offer him. He will often eat some of the veggies I give him at the dinner table, only to stop after a bit to reach for me. There is a certainly a commitment to having a nursing baby, but the blessing of our mama-baby connection is so rewarding!

--he has 7 teeth and the 8th is coming in. And, no, it's not the tooth that would even out the 7 in front but, rather, a premolar.

--his favorite toy is my jar of beef bouillon and his favorite activity is stair-climbing. These are not my favorite things.

--his 1st year alive coincides with my most content and productive year as a mom. I experienced a greater effectiveness in my work, in child-discipline, and in my ability to withstand tiresome tasks in 2006. This, I know, is nothing of my own merit; at the beginning of last year the Lord clearly spoke to me that He was going to bring increased stability and peace to my life. One year ago I wrote, "with [Jackson's] birth has come a new-found peace. The last month has been very
free of the perfectionism and foolish self-requirements that have so
often marked my life. Before he was born I felt the Lord telling me
that this year--represented in Jackson's arrival--was going to bring
victory in areas related to being a wife and mom. So far, I have known
greater stability emotionally and less pressure to perform than before.
When I look at my Jackson, I think I will always reflect on this." While I have much, much farther to go, I have found His word to be true. And knowing that He surely is completing the work He has begun in me gives me great faith to see His work completed in Jackson--and in all my children.

Happy Birthday to my little man and one of my great, great joys!