Thursday, April 24, 2008
The Problem is Our "Unwanting"
I saw this article on Danica's recommended list. It both grieved me and challenged me.
I want to make children wanted. I want to encourage others to want children; to prize life in all shapes and forms and sizes; to see babies as desired and precious and worth every bit of work and sacrifice. I don't want to just stand against the cruel death of unborn children, but I want to always esteem and treasure children as the gifts they are. Regardless of how we are inconvenienced. Regardless of how hard we have to work. Regardless of money or space or time or abilities.
I don't want to be even a tiny bit "unwanting."
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"Regardless of how we are inconvenienced."This is a hard one. I am in love with the life that God has blessed me with. I love our family, the dynamic of all our kids... right now while Isaac is driving a toy motorcycle along the "roads" of our chair backs, Liam is tap dancing and jump in his sisters dress shoes that make GREAT click-clacking, tip-tapping sounds. For me, I see the investment, I see the big picture, I see the vision.Not so much for everyone else. And this is the part that is hard for my heart to bear. We are an inconvenience. We are inconvenient those who have to wait around us to go through doors, or work our way through the grocery store. We are inconvenient to the doctor's office when I want to see if I can bring more than one child in at once. We are inconvenient when we go to the library because I have to remind more than one little mouth to use their "library voices." Inconvenient when we go to a restaurant and they have to modify their table for us. And the hard one for today? Inconvenient to those who we ask for some help to watch them so we can go to a wedding we were invited to.It's so obvious that asking people to slow down a moment for us is inconvenient. A passerby at the grocer's the other day says to her companion "Why in the world would you have so many kids?" It's so counter cultural to do anything in which you might possibly effect those that are around you, and when you go somewhere with 5 kids you're "forcing" your life on them - causing them to stop and take note. My kids are very much wanted. It takes much time, sacrifice, work, prayers, tears, and love but I am committed. It is difficult to see that it goes beyond my own commitment, beyond my own sacrifice. Because it has an "effect" on everyone we come across. That's the hard part for me, to feel so "inconvenient" to everyone else.
ReplyDeleteHey Brietta, What is your email address? There are some things going on in my heart that I'd like to share with you. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteBrietta, I completely agree! I it all starts at the doctors office. They ask to take test to see if there is something "wrong" with the baby, like those test results should change your mind. I opted out because I wouldn't change anything either way!! I stand with you in this fight...
ReplyDeleteBrietta-
ReplyDeleteHere's a thought I dreamed up recently:
Wouldn't it be a miracle if there existed a ministry/home/organization which rescued unborn babies by encouraging mothers to birth their "unwanted" children and then place them in Christian homes to be raised as sons and daughters of the Lord?
Do you know of any like ministries/organizations?
I'd like to look into this further.
Sarah D.
I also read this article and was moved by it.I do think there is a difference, though, in saying "every child should be wanted", and "I should want to raise every child myself." If someone had approached me shortly after the birth of one of my babies and offered me their newborn twins to adopt, I probably would have kindly said "no, but let me find another family who will keep your babies for you." Me not wanting to take more babies on top of my own does not mean that those babies are not wanted, it just means that I do not want to raise them myself. They are, however, wanted by someone else. And I want them to be wanted by that someone else as well! I want to see them placed in another family that is suited to them, I want them to be alive and healthy and grow. But wanting those things does not require that I necessarily want them to be raised as my own.Anyway... long comment, but I think there is a difference here that bears making the point. I mean, what if we were offered more twins on top of that? There has to be a line somewhere, and not wanting to take on more kids yourself (while being willing to find someone who does) is not "being unwanting" in my opinion. It's just a different kind of wanting!
ReplyDelete@sarahellie - I agree, Sarah. I wasn't trying to say that in order to "want," I must welcome every single human being on the face of the planet into my home as one of my family! What I felt particularly convicted regarding was how often I complain or grumble about the inconveniences of people (my children, other believers, strangers in the supermarket, etc.) because I am valuing myself more than I am "wanting" them. Does that make sense? I think in order to be truly pro-life, we must be more than simply against the cruel killing of unborn babies; rather, we ought to be cherishing every life that we encounter as a valuable treasure of God.
ReplyDelete@diedersm - Sarah, there are several ministries I have come across that do this sort of thing. I remember specifically reading about one in an Above Rubies magazine that targets mothers who are considering aborting their baby because of some sort of "defect," and finds families for those babies. Such wonderful ministry!Unfortunately, I can't remember any of the names of these ministries off the top of my head! I'll let you know if I recall a few...
ReplyDelete@brietta - I was mostly referring to the end of your post where you said, "Regardless of how we are inconvenienced. Regardless of how hard we have
ReplyDeleteto work. Regardless of money or space or time or abilities. I don't want to be even a tiny bit "unwanting." That's where my mind jumped to the scenario I brought up. Thanks for your additional thoughts-- I certainly hope I didn't offend you by saying what I did!
@sarahellie - No offense at all! I just didn't want you to think that I was insinuating that anyone who hasn't adopted a child is somehow guilty of "unwanting!"
ReplyDelete@brietta - Maybe you were thinking of CHASK ? They help find Christian homes for children with special needs.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Thanks, since I'm "unwanting" staying at home and mothering today. :(
ReplyDeleteThis article made me completely nauseated, just reading it. I wish that more people understood that adoption can be such a positive thing. I've heard all of the excuses and numerous fears but I still know that every single baby is a blessing, regardless of where they live, how they were conceived, how much/little money their parents have, how young their parents are, etc. Abortion breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteI think the marketing strategies the Planned Parenthood uses are despicable. There are so many people (myself included) who would be more than happy to take one of these babies in and show them that they are wanted and loved.
I really like that Young Life has a camp for young moms- those who are pregnant or have young children and that they have childcare, so that the moms can have fun, in a healthy atmosphere, with encouragement and are less likely to experience 'burn out'. I'm hoping that I can volunteer my time, at some point, for this.
I think one simple thing, that moms (& dad, too) can do is to notice the needs, in one's community. We need instill love, rather than fear, into these parent's hearts. Offering to help watch kids, listen, give advice, run errands, or even inviting someone (that we may hardly know) over for a meal could possibly change hearts, for the better. I think it's important for everyone, to be able to feel a sense of community and support.