Quiet

Merrick and Gabriel have been sent outside to play. It's a nice day and my nerves are feeling a bit frayed so I laid down the law and told them that it's good for little boys to use their imaginations and get fresh air. I can hear their voices occasionally through the cracked windows-- just enough to reassure me that they're having a great time together even if there was some initial resistance to the idea of not playing indoors with toys.

Bronwyn and Jackson are sound asleep for their afternoon naps. I can never predict how Sunday naps will go with them. Either they're so tired from a longer morning at church that they crash quickly and easily or else they're wound up and overtired to the point of putting up pretty awful fights about sleeping. I was really hoping (honestly, I was praying...) that today they would crash. And they did.

Aubrey is nursing. The dishwasher is running. The washing machine is humming. These are three things that inevitably minister peace to my soul.

It's been a people-filled weekend around here. I am happy to open my home, but I'm also melancholy and really enjoy when the activity and conversation pauses and I can sit in silence. That's me right now: savoring the stillness.

Last night a friend came over and spent the night with me. Besides helping me entertain company, she put the 4 bigger kids to bed last night and then helped me get us all ready for church this morning. That was really, really nice of her. She's a great person to have around.

Two ladies helped me out to my van after the service this morning. I like to think that people are just really observant and kind, but I have a feeling that I looked totally out of control as I was herding the 5 kids out to the van. I was carrying a really large bag and Aubrey (in her car seat) and I had Merrick and Jackson paired up and Gabriel and Bronwyn paired up in front of me. It was a decently-working system until Jackson decided to fall on the floor in the stairwell and burst into hysterical tears because he's afraid of those steps. I guess I must have looked pretty pathetic as I was trying to carry his flailing body along with the bag and the car seat, all the while calling out instructions to the kids, because it only took about 2 seconds before one woman was taking the car seat and the other was taking the diaper bag and a couple kids' hands.

Anyway, the activity of the past few days has momentarily subsided and I am getting a chance to catch my breath. Back I go to enjoying the sound of machinery and my baby's rhythmic breathing accompanied by, well... nothing!