I Love This Boy

Mighty is the Power of the Cross

A quickening, a revelation, comes to me, causing my hands and thoughts to pause. In the midst of the mundane and routine, the Holy Spirit whispers to my heart and suddenly I see what I am doing. I am not just folding laundry like I do every day. These pink diapers, these little man shirts, this twirly skirt that I hold in my hands without a second thought, they represent the presence of remarkable gifts. No, I realize afresh, it isn't just clutter I am tending to, but the shoes of a man who calls me his and the toys and treasures of children who I call mine.

Is this really my life? I wonder. Am I truly this blessed?

It's so easy to see what's wrong, what's hard, what's challenging. I forget to see what's good, what's undeserved, what's a dream come true, what's a plain testimony of His amazing grace toward me.

For soft lamplight on a quiet evening...

for green that breaks through earth...

for baby fingers that trace my face...

for favorite books that line my shelves...

for oranges piled high in the fruit basket...

for downy heads resting on soft pillows...

for tomorrow-- for hope-- for a future...

for the prayers of others on my behalf...

for new friends and familiar hearts & faces...

for worship with the saints...

for a God who does not fail...

I am thankful.

Gabriel

This afternoon, I left the house with my 5-year-old little man holding my hand and skipping at my side. We were off to a doctor's appointment for him (OK... so this is me confessing that his 5yo check-up came 2 months late... ), but he was excited because I would be taking him out to eat at a place of his choosing beforehand. I was excited because it isn't very often that I get to do something one-on-one with any of my children!

We had a blast together. He talked and talked and talked as he always does, but this time I could listen and nod and respond appropriately without interruptions or frustration on my part.

He was pretty cute at the doctor's office, too. Very amiable and compliant. Polite and good-humored. I was relieved pleased.

I love Gabriel. He's a brilliant, creative little boy. His thoughts are so definitive and his questions so studious! It was such a blessing to spend two hours with him, just the two of us.

And, yes, Daniel officially gets the What-a-Guy award for staying home with the three little ones and letting me catch up with my firstborn!

The Problem is Our "Unwanting"

I saw this article on Danica's recommended list. It both grieved me and challenged me.

I want to make children wanted. I want to encourage others to want children; to prize life in all shapes and forms and sizes; to see babies as desired and precious and worth every bit of work and sacrifice. I don't want to just stand against the cruel death of unborn children, but I want to always esteem and treasure children as the gifts they are. Regardless of how we are inconvenienced. Regardless of how hard we have to work. Regardless of money or space or time or abilities.

I don't want to be even a tiny bit "unwanting."

Even vs. Odd

When Bronwyn was born, the nurse commented on how nice her date of birth was: 8-12-04. "A good set of even numbers," was, I believe, what she said.

Ever since then, when a baby is born, I take note of whether their birth dates are even-numbered. (Several born recently do have even birth dates, in case you were wondering.)

And ever since then, it's been very distressful to me that my other children's birth dates aren't all even numbers. My birth date isn't even either, though Daniel's is.

I wish I could go back in time and erase that nurse's comment. It drives me insane to always be checking numbers of birth dates.

Sheesh.

What I've Been Doing::

:: making and eating banana cream pies
:: sorting & storing winter clothing
:: taking a walk just about every day
:: online shopping for needed summer clothing
:: playing Taboo
:: opening all my windows
:: nursing Aubrey 12+ times every 24 hours (she's 13lbs5oz now!!)
:: attending LIFE Group
:: watching our seeds sprout
:: rejoicing in both water and Holy Spirit baptisms
:: raking my front yard
:: reading aloud to the kids
:: not blogging very much

Oh Yeah

Can anyone say, "Seventy-four degrees and absolutely not-a-cloud-in-the-sky sunny?"

You betcha.

This kind of weather calls for spontaneity. Of the Ditch Your Dinner Plans and Go To Sergi's variety. Follow that meal up with a stroll around one of the cutest Market Streets in the world, and you've got yourself the perfect activity. If you ask me.

(Which you didn't...)

Wanna come?

Treasures

I walk along the road, Aubrey in the Ergo we've been lent, Jackson holding my hand, and the big kids in the wagon I pull along. They chatter and talk and exclaim about robins and squeal about bumps in the road that send them tumbling about. The sun is warm and bright, the sky dappled with bits of puffy white, the breeze smells like green and growth. I drink in the clean rejuvenation that it all gives.

"Are you babysitting or something?" the older woman asks as we converge at the local post office.
I smile. "No, they're all mine."
"Well you have your hands full," she chuckles, and then she adds, "but they're all beautiful and I'm sure they're worth it."

As we continue our walk, my heart is bursting. Not with pride in something of my own doing or making, but with the umpteenth revelation that God has blessed me so much more than I deserve. Gabriel, Bronwyn, Jackson, and Aubrey are living treasures, handed to one who could not earn such wonders if I worked my whole life for them.

And I think to myself that I want to live in this reality even when we get home and the whining for lunch begins; when naptime is a struggle and obedience is scarce; when there is sickness and accompanying anxiety; when the mundane tasks of life cloud the beauty of His handiwork.

Busy Days

Tonight concludes our annual prophetic presbytery meetings. I can't tell you how much I love these times, or how grateful I am that all my children are healthy enough for me to attend these gatherings. My dry soul feels as though it's been taking a long drink of cold water.

Between going to bed Saturday night around midnight (post presbytery meeting #1) and leaving for church the next morning, a new nephew was born! One of my favorite kind of news to get is that another healthy baby has entered our world.

Sunday night, we were preparing to leave the house for night #2. The kids were eating their snack while Daniel and I packed the diaper bag, gathered coats, changed diapers, etc. It was around 5:15pm (the meeting was to begin at 6pm) that Bronwyn informed us that she had stuck a popcorn kernel up her nose. 20 minutes later, I called the doctor because our best attempts with a flashlight and tweezers weren't getting us anywhere. He said he'd normally recommend the ER to get it removed, except that the place was "a zoo." Since she wasn't distressed about it (so long as we weren't sticking tweezers up her nose), the decision was made to wait until the next day when she could go to the doctor's office.

The next morning, our whole family packed up again and headed over to Aunt Beans' salon for haircuts all around. In the middle of the haircuts, Daniel slipped out with Bronwyn to bring her to the doctor's, where it took both our regular doctor and her husband (also a doctor in that practice) to remove the popcorn kernel from Bronwyn's nose. Paper & crayons, along with a packed lunch for the whole crew (including Uncle Merrick, who had come for a haircut, too), kept little people occupied while we were there.

Carina gave me a great cut and style that I have completely failed at repeating today, despite my best efforts. (Have I ever mentioned that I'm really delinquent when it comes to doing hair?) Fortunately, I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday, which is the one form of pampering that makes me feel great even when my pathetic hair-styling abilities leave something to be desired.

Last night's meeting wasn't proceeded by anything as weird as children sticking popcorn kernels up their nose, thankfully. The only minor incident of the night was my younger son and another little boy in the nursery getting into a smacking-fest.

This morning I hit the grocery stores. My refrigerator and cupboards were looking rather sorry and since my family likes to eat even when I'm tired (shocking, I know), I headed out. The good thing about forcing myself to do something I don't want to do is that now I get the joy of knowing the job is done. Of course, I still have to actually make myself cook the soup I have planned.

Tomorrow is my official re-coup day around the house because Thursday and Friday both have appointments and outings planned, and then Saturday we are hosting a dozen student-leaders here at our house for a meal. Somehow, I'd also like to continue the spring cleaning/re-organizing I began last week, but I'm not going to bank on such things.

Yeah, this schedule is pretty busy for me and my little brood, but it's a busy that's full of really fun things that I'm very excited to be doing.

7 Months

Aubrey::

:: rolls over from her back to her tummy all the time these days. Since she hates being on her tummy, the result is always much whining and complaining. What I can't figure out is why this hasn't seemed to motivate her to learn to roll from tummy to back (which I hear is the more typical rolling babies do; all of mine have been much more prolific at back-to-tummy than vice versa).

:: weighs around 13lbs, I'm guessing. At 6 months she was 12lbs11oz, but with being sick, she was down to 12lbs10oz most recently. I have to say that she looks like she's gaining well again, so I anticipate a good weigh-in on Thursday.

:: is definitely a "morning baby." She is so pleasant and cheerful when she first wakes up everyday! She is not so pleasant and cheerful from the dinner hour on.

:: still sleeps in her Plymouth Plantation basket next to my bed (when she's in bed with me, that is). The reason my other babies have moved to their crib by 7 months is that they've all learned how to sit up by then and I don't like to risk them tipping the basket over while inside it. I love that she's still baby enough to use it!

:: is the delight of her brothers and sister. Just yesterday morning Jackson came in to my bedroom first thing and begin oohing and ahhing over her. "'Pecial girl," is what he calls her. Is there anything more wonderful to a mother than seeing her children loving each other?

:: has a tuft of hair on the crown of her head that always wants to stick straight up. It's very Alfalfa-ish, for those of you familiar with Our Gang. And, yes, her hair continues to be decidedly red.

:: while keeping me housebound much of these past 7 months, couldn't be more worth the sacrifice. She is my little doll-baby!

This photo was taken right before church (do you recognize the dress, Stacie?):

Contrasting

Cool:: the top 8 on American Idol singing Shout to the Lord. It's neat to see a worship chorus getting attention from the mainstream music industry.

Frustrating:: the fact that there are tons of cute summer dresses available this year while the skirt selection is, at best, slim pickings. Dresses are simply not nursing-friendly.

Perfect:: my bedroom with its new paint job and furniture arrangement, all thanks to Nancy and Daniel. (Pictures forthcoming.)

Disappointing:: the annoyingly persistent sugar addiction I have. I can't seem to kick it.

Exciting:: upcoming presbytery meetings! This is always a highlight of my year.

Exhausting:: sleeping night after night on a lumpy, creaky mattress and broken boxspring.

Relieving:: knowing a new mattress set is on its way-- the first brand new set Daniel and I will have ever owned! (We're upgrading from full to queen, too!)

Difficult:: maintaining good routines even when life (aka the semester) gets hectic and busy. Overall, I managed pretty well with Daniel out of town twice recently except that I got out of a lot of good habits for the sake of simplifying in his absence.

Beautiful:: tulip buds pushing through earth along my front porch, Aubrey's smiling eyes, my dishes, friendship, the color green.

Beginnings

Summer squash, bell peppers, tomatoes, basil, sage, and (hopefully, but rather unlikely due to our climate) rosemary. Oh-- and a whole lot of summer phlox, too, to be planted along the front of our porch once our tulips have come and gone!

Quiet

Merrick and Gabriel have been sent outside to play. It's a nice day and my nerves are feeling a bit frayed so I laid down the law and told them that it's good for little boys to use their imaginations and get fresh air. I can hear their voices occasionally through the cracked windows-- just enough to reassure me that they're having a great time together even if there was some initial resistance to the idea of not playing indoors with toys.

Bronwyn and Jackson are sound asleep for their afternoon naps. I can never predict how Sunday naps will go with them. Either they're so tired from a longer morning at church that they crash quickly and easily or else they're wound up and overtired to the point of putting up pretty awful fights about sleeping. I was really hoping (honestly, I was praying...) that today they would crash. And they did.

Aubrey is nursing. The dishwasher is running. The washing machine is humming. These are three things that inevitably minister peace to my soul.

It's been a people-filled weekend around here. I am happy to open my home, but I'm also melancholy and really enjoy when the activity and conversation pauses and I can sit in silence. That's me right now: savoring the stillness.

Last night a friend came over and spent the night with me. Besides helping me entertain company, she put the 4 bigger kids to bed last night and then helped me get us all ready for church this morning. That was really, really nice of her. She's a great person to have around.

Two ladies helped me out to my van after the service this morning. I like to think that people are just really observant and kind, but I have a feeling that I looked totally out of control as I was herding the 5 kids out to the van. I was carrying a really large bag and Aubrey (in her car seat) and I had Merrick and Jackson paired up and Gabriel and Bronwyn paired up in front of me. It was a decently-working system until Jackson decided to fall on the floor in the stairwell and burst into hysterical tears because he's afraid of those steps. I guess I must have looked pretty pathetic as I was trying to carry his flailing body along with the bag and the car seat, all the while calling out instructions to the kids, because it only took about 2 seconds before one woman was taking the car seat and the other was taking the diaper bag and a couple kids' hands.

Anyway, the activity of the past few days has momentarily subsided and I am getting a chance to catch my breath. Back I go to enjoying the sound of machinery and my baby's rhythmic breathing accompanied by, well... nothing!

Aubrey's Entertainment

This was the scene in the kitchen this afternoon when I was preparing the flatbread for tonight's dinner.

Some of my favorite parts?

Near the beginning: Aubrey's grunts of annoyance when Gabriel gets in her face early on. Only babies with older siblings learn this at quite such a young age.

In the middle: the big smile Uncle Merrick receives when he comes in the room. He's really pretty good with babies.

At the end: Gabriel moving Aubrey's leg in a kicking-motion and pretending that she was hurting him. Only babies with older brothers experience this, I think; at least, I assume Danica didn't do such things with me when I was an infant.

A Little "Fuller"

Our household grew a bit yesterday and will stay a bit bigger until the early part of next week. Two of my younger sisters and my littlest brother are here while Mom and Dad are in California. I got married and moved away from home when they were 8, 6, and 2 years old, so it's always a fun treat to share a house with them again!

The dining table has chairs for a much nicer crowd of 8 instead of 6 around it. It's bigger and cozier all at the same time. How is that?

Last night Liana watched AI with me. I must confess that we weren't a bit sad to see Ramiele go. What can I say? She seems like a sweet girl, but not a great artist.

Daniel is home tonight and then tomorrow he'll head out of town for the weekend. The plan right now is to eat an earlier dinner (tuna curry, whole wheat flat bread, and a tossed salad) so we can watch this before the kids' 7pm bedtime. It will be even more fun since we'll have some extra bodies piling into the family room with us!

Mom and Us

Just a reminder that my mom, sisters, and I are regularly posting at

Check it out!



On Wednesdays we answer a Question of the Week.
My thoughts on vaccinating, in response to a question, are back up,
for those who read that post yesterday and were wondering where it went!