Aubs, Part II

Aubrey's O2 saturations were 84-85% today! This is about 10% more than last week and only 3-5% less than her normal baseline, so it is reasonable to conclude that as her respiratory infection improves, so does her heart's ability oxygenate her blood. It is a tremendous relief to know that her decline of last week was very much sickness related and not an indication of he heart failing.

God keeps her, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, Aubrey's cough continues to mean that she is still not sleeping great. I feel like I shouldn't complain because at least she's sleeping (unlike last Sunday-Thursday), so all I will do is say that I am energized by Aubrey's improvement and exploring new realms of functioning without sleep.

Thankful

:: for bright blue skies. Daniel and I have been talking about how wonderful it is to live in an area that is often sunny and clear... if a tad on the cold side in the winter.

:: for a little girl who wears her high-heeled dress-up shoes more than her slippers and dances around the house singing songs much of the day.

:: for college students getting saved.

:: for a fun package full of sunny yellow and sky blue clothes.

:: for a baby who is smiling a lot again and coughing a lot less.

:: for a husband who is really good at looking around the house and finding things he can do to help keep the ball rolling on the homefront.

:: for an unexpected visitor who dropped in after church just to ask me how I'm doing. Like, really doing. Whenever I'm not tied down with young children quite so much, I hope I remember to do that sort of thing for those who don't get out often.

:: for children who are getting better everyday at playing together.

:: for our routine of a Sunday night movie with popcorn and fruit in the family room. Simple is good.

:: for a God who is bigger than my mistakes, my children's needs, busy schedules, misplaced priorities, forgetfulness, and abandoned resolutions. He loves me.

Aubs

We have several nicknames for Aubrey and none of them really make sense. Well, I guess Aubs makes sense since it is a shorter version of her actual name, but it certainly isn't cute or pretty. Here are a few others that you'll hear frequently:

Aub-a-Reeno
Scooby
Chunka (as in, short for Chunky Monkey... which she is not... which makes this a real head-scratcher)

I always wonder why we don't call her Bre or something cute like that. I figure it's probably the same reason my mom called Merrick Bugaboo and why I'm called Potato Annie: true nicknames aren't planned but rather evolve.

Anyway.

Aubrey (aka Aubs) is looking so much better this morning! I'm really hoping this is because her oxygen saturations are returning to normal, though we won't know for sure until Monday. She's smiling and playing with toys and enjoying watching the other kids play-- all things she's not done much of since Sunday night. Most of this week our nights have consisted of coughing fits (that frequently end in vomiting), crying, refusals to nurse, etc, but last night she nursed contentedly and pretty much slept otherwise.

Daniel and I are really tired and I'm pretty sick, but otherwise we're doing well. We have a lot of people who really care about us and take care of us and that makes a big difference. Aubrey's doctor has called everyday to make sure she's not getting worse. Last night Carina came over with pizza and to put the kids to bed since Daniel was sharing at an IVCF meeting. Tonight we'll eat enchiladas made by Nancy. We get offers from people running errands to pick up anything we need. I don't know how people without such wonderful friends and family manage during crazy weeks like this and I'm grateful that I don't have to.

Viruses and the ER

<Update>

Aubrey's O2 sat was still only around 74% today when we were at the doctor's office. A call was put in to the cardiologist, who basically communicated the following:

1. he really doesn't want her admitted to the hospital because of all the various illnesses she would be exposed to, so he has charged me with observation and reporting on how she's breathing, nursing, sleeping, etc.

2. he is fairly certain her O2 sats are completely related to her respiratory infection and are not an indication that her heart is no longer doing as good a job. Aubrey will see our local doctor on Monday; the hope is that by then she will be recovering from this illness and that her O2 sats will be appropriately higher (her normal baseline is 88-90% or so).

So now it's just a matter of continuing to watch Aubrey. We are praying that she will be healed and that her O2 sats return to where they should be. I am amazed by how much better she is doing just this afternoon and I must say that I hardly think it coincidence that many have been praying for her today. She has nursed well 3 times in a row now, laid on the floor for 10 whole minutes without crying (this is amazing in light of the last several days), and slept this afternoon for close to an hour without waking.

I am feeling a bit rundown by the sickness my own body is battling, but my spirits are much lifted. A more peaceful baby, the knowledge that there are many praying, and a great guy bringing pizza so I don't have to cook are good things!

</Update>


Daniel and I were in the ER last night with Aubrey for 5 hours. The last time we were in the ER, we were there for 7 hours. I can't help but feel like this is longer than ER visits are supposed to be, but I'm realizing that due to Aubrey's CHD, doctors are very cautious and hesitant with her. Other than her cardiologists, they don't tend to make fast decisions and they like to rule out everything every time (or so it seems). I certainly understand this, considering that I am overly cautious with Aubrey myself. I'm the one who brings her to ER, after all.

Fortunately, we came home after those 5 hours. The ER doc wanted to keep Aubrey through today for observation, but Dr. McCloy showed up at the end of our visit and put her foot down. She doesn't want Aubrey admitted to the floor ever. Maybe the ICU if necessary, though she said were we at that point she would probably just send us to Syracuse.

The good news is that Aubrey's respiratory infection is just that-- a straight-forward respiratory infection and not pneumonia or RSV or the flu. They did a breathing treatment for her and gave her a good dose of ibuprofin and the combination helped her breathing enough that she nursed well for the first time in over 24 hours. (I had gotten to the point of pumping yesterday because I didn't want her lack of nursing to lessen my milk supply.) Unfortunately, even after multiple monitors and probes were tried (in multiple locations), her oxygen saturation levels hovered in the 70s with frequent dips in to the high 60s. That's low even for Aubrey, so in an hour I'll be bringing her to the doctor's office so that they can do another check. If it's still low today, then Dr. McCloy will call Dr. Byrum (her cardiologist) to find out whether or not it's disconcertingly low to him.

This respiratory infection is working its way through our whole family, so it's nice to know that it's not anything more serious. Bronwyn is finally getting over it, but in the last 2 days both Jackson and I have caught it. Gabriel is coughing a bit and his appetite is very low, too. Only Daniel remains unscathed. (He hardly ever gets sick.)

I'm really tired, but glad that Aubrey is doing okay. It would be nice if our ER visits weren't so long because then I wouldn't have spent 10pm-3am squished in a crowded space rather than in my bed trying to sleep. Still, I'm grateful for doctors who are very thorough and for a breathing treatment that at least allowed Aubrey to sleep well from 3:30-7:30am, which is about 10x longer than any sleep stretch she's had since she first got sick.

Sleep?

I went into Easter weekend tired after a really bad night's sleep Wednesday night. By Sunday morning, I couldn't even pretend to hide the circles under my eyes with make-up and I was crying about dumb things, which really isn't typical. Fortunately, I figured that this ship called life would get righted once the holiday was behind us, providing me the rest I was really in need of.

Ha.

Aubrey caught the cold/cough that Bronwyn had and by Sunday night was not doing very well. That night, the only way I found she would sleep was with me sitting almost completely upright while she lay on my chest. Needless to say, the only real sleep I got that night was during the hour and a half or so when Daniel volunteered to do the honors of being a Human Bed for Aubrey.

Last night was only marginally better. Aubrey slept in her carseat for about two whole hours before she woke and needed constant reassurances of my love and arms. She's doing a bit better with coordinating breathing and nursing around coughing, so at least last night was less restless since her belly wasn't quite so empty.

Napping hasn't really worked either, since Aubrey can't recline without an ensuing coughing fit. Not to mention that there's a baby shower here tonight for my friend (who's having twin boys, by the way!) and I'm too busy having fun getting ready for it.

On Sunday, I felt as though I was running on empty. At this point, I am officially running on fumes. And since I gave up drinking even decaf coffee except on special occasions, my only source of energy has been the chocolate malted eggs Daniel bought on clearance yesterday for me. Healthy, eh?

I keep telling myself that I'll soon get a chance to catch up. Mostly, though, I'm getting another lesson in learning to rely on His grace rather than natural means to get through each day. I know that if this is all the sleep I am getting, it must be enough, because He is always faithful to make sure that I have everything I need.

Easter

Easter Thoughts

My children are early to rise. Even if bedtime is delayed an hour or two later than usual (like last night), they still wake up early. Consequently, I put them to bed early. This means that they aren't grumpy the next day. It also means that I get a couple hours before I retire to do the less kid-friendly jobs and projects around the home-- and, of course, to enjoy the peace and quiet that comes when all four little ones are sleeping.

Tonight, I am very glad that they go to bed early. Even as I type, Daniel is doing the bedtime reading honors while I sit down here nursing Aubrey. Shortly, I will finish our Easter preparations and be done before it is even remotely late. I am trying to savor this since I know that once my kids are bigger and stay up later, the "in secret" tasks of filling and hiding Easter baskets will have to be done long after I would like to be in bed.

Today has been full of preparations for tomorrow. This year I got the task privilege of making our traditional Easter dessert: chocolate whipping cream torte. Since there will be a crowd of 24 around my parents' tables tomorrow afternoon, I also made a 3-layer lemon buttermilk cake that is filled with raspberry preserves. I must say that both took more time, more sifting, and more mixing bowls than I ever thought possible. They also look very, very delicious.

The cheesebraid for breakfast is done. The ironing is done and every item for every outfit is laid out. The books that will mark each child's spot at the table are wrapped. And I just finished the clues for the Easter basket hunt that will take place first thing in the morning.

All I need to do now is set the table for breakfast, fill and hide the baskets and six clues, pack the diaper bag for a full day away from home, and collect the things Mom has asked to borrow in order to accommodate so many guests tomorrow. Daniel tells me I also need to leave some time in my evening plans for cheering on Pitt.

I wasn't sure I would get everything accomplished without having last night to do some of the work, but both Daniel and I were very much wanting to make it to the Good Friday Service at church and so I scurried extra in order to make it a priority. I've never been to such a service and thought it would be a good experience.

It was so much more than a good experience. I think it may have been one of the most moving services I have been at in my life. Tears of conviction, sorrow, and forgiveness mingled on my face as my heart was freshly overwhelmed by how much my Savior loves.

And now the stage has again been set for great, great celebration tomorrow. Resurrection! Victory over death and evil and satan and darkness! I am free to come before the Lord because His death has paid my debt in full. I am a child of God. What joy! What peace! What kindness!

Hallelujah! He lives!

Some days

are more productive than others.

That's just the way it is.

On Tuesday, I washed, dried and folded all the laundry, cleaned both bathrooms top to bottom, scrubbed the kitchen thoroughly-- cooking hood, sink, top of the fridge, garbage pail, floor, outside of dishwasher, etc.-- bathed all the kids and trimmed every finger and toenail in the house, dusted and vacuumed downstairs, re-organized the kids' drawers (I have to do this often since my two biggest kids put away their own laundry and my littlest ones keep outgrowing certain things!), and sorted through shoes for Easter Sunday. All before lunchtime.

On Wednesday, Mom and I tackled pretty much every store our rural area has to offer. We shopped from 10am until 4:30pm and I returned home with everything from a new fall coat (for $8.98!!) to toothpaste to birthday gifts to paint for my bedroom walls.

Today, though?

Well, today I spent the majority of the morning calling about 20 different stores that supposedly sell Graco products, only to find out that Graco seems to sell a lot of products that actually aren't in any stores at all-- even though they say they are. That was frustrating in and of itself, but even more frustrating is that in the meantime, Aubrey has yet to be dressed for the day (not that she really cares, but she still gets so sweaty when she nurses that I hate to leave her in the same clothes for more than 12 hours), the kids went crazy until I finally resorted to TV as a means of occupying them so I could converse with generally pleasant but altogether unhelpful sales representatives, our dining table never even got washed after breakfast let alone lunch and now boasts crumbs and milk splatters from two meals, and the only chore for the day that I've accomplished is getting the laundry started.

As in: the first load is in the washer.

But it's OK. I think I'm actually starting to learn that life kind of works like this.

My phone calls are done and I could theoretically get really busy this afternoon trying to do the things I'd wanted to accomplish today, but I generally try to reserve the afternoon for resting, Bible-reading, and special time/projects with the kids-- and I don't want to abandon those very important things for less important things like cleaning my house. The best parts of this day will undoubtedly be when Daniel returns tonight and I can flop into bed (I've been up since 4am... but that's a whole 'nother story), but I am determined that there will be some pretty special moments between now and then, too. Figuring out what's really important and letting the other things go doesn't mean I'm being less productive; it just means I'm finally prioritizing.

And now Aubrey's done nursing and I'm finished with this re-evaluation: some days are just a different kind of productive.

Snuggle

Aubrey is the most snuggly baby I've had yet. And our nighttime snuggles are the absolute best! I love sharing a bed with her and often when I wake during the night to help her nurse, I want to cry at the thought that someday she will outgrow this stage.

In the morning when we wake, she stretches and her eyes flutter open and closed again and then... then the biggest smile spreads across her face and she reaches her hands to start touching my face. It's more delightful than I can describe and the best way to start the day!

Misc.

:: I slept better last night than I have in weeks. I'm not sure what that says about my usual bed partner.

Seriously, though, this has not been the case before now. I think I've officially grown accustomed to Daniel's mini-trips here and there. I should be! He's gone on a several-week missions trip out of the country every year for the past 4 years, as well as leaving regularly for weekends away since a month after we got married. Believe it or not, last night was the first time in Daniel's absence that I've not woken up to every little sound throughout the night. (i.e. Does the furnace always make that noise or should I be concerned?)

:: Repentance and forgiveness is so cleansing. One thing I am reminded of over and over again is that it doesn't even matter whether or not the person you may have offended actually was or wasn't; the important thing is that we respond to the Holy Spirit when He convicts us so that our hearts remain soft and pliable.

:: There is nothing on TV these days. Nothing. Especially when you only get the 13 basic channels (2 of them being weird Canadian sitcoms or curling competitions; 2 of them being the exact same duplicated PBS programming). I think I enjoy American Idol more because it's actually something we get that I will watch than because of the actual show itself.

:: Yesterday I packed the kids up and we spent the majority of the day at Mom's house. She made a really delicious stir fry for dinner and I could kick myself for not taking pictures so we could post it all on momandus this week. It was one of those meals that gets made when the cupboards are pretty bare and you're just cleaning out, but if you only saw the finished product you'd never know.

Those are the best kinds of meals for those of us who live in the real world (sorry, Martha) and on a budget!

:: Speaking of cooking, I made homemade whole wheat tortillas the other night that were really delicious. (ht: Jackie) Next time I'm going to make them thinner by making more like 14 7-8" tortillas (as opposed to the 12 I made last time) because my last batch was a little thicker and breadier than I prefer, but all in all I was tremendously pleased with how simple and yummy and inexpensive they were! I've already decided that I want to try to make a huge batch once a month or so and freeze most of them so they're still a very convenient food.

:: I'm on day 18 of a consistent and manageable-for-a-mama exercise routine. I won't say more until I am past day 21, which they say is the marker for establishing a habit, but so far it's been really awesome. What I actually accomplish isn't the amazing thing; the fact that I've been doing it is!

:: Yesterday Mom helped me pick out paint colors for my bedroom. Tomorrow I'm planning on picking up the paint so that it's here and ready for whenever my benevolent helper says she wants to assist in taking it on. To say I'm excited would be an understatement. To say I'm nervous would also be an understatement. Somehow paint never looks quite the same on the walls as on the chip. I'm really really hoping that I'm pleasantly surprised rather than... well... deeply disappointed.

:: OK. I'm done rambling.

For now!

He's Off

Daniel's away for a handful of days. Considering the fact that since mid-February, he's been gone 75% of the evenings, his being in Boston until Thursday night won't be too much of a change. Except that for whatever reason, I much prefer falling asleep knowing that at some point in the next few hours, he'll come home and be with us.

I used to plan special projects when Daniel would go out of town. This time my special project is maintaining sanity. What can I say? Having more kids means less projects and more maintenance. The only thing I'm really hoping to do outside of dressing and feeding the kids and keeping the house clean is making a trip to check out the new W@l-M@rt. Exciting, huh?

First things first, though: my kids want breakfast. (This is the sort of maintenance I speak of.) Cheerios and bananas, here we come!

Two Things

Two things I'm really good at that I wish I wasn't:

1. overeating (especially desserts)
2. sticking my foot in my mouth (figuratively, I'm afraid... )

Two things I am grateful for every single day:

1. waking up to a snuggly baby's smile
2. the Holy Spirit changing me

Two things I wish I was really good at that I'm not:

1. praying before fretting
   
2. dressing fashionably
   

Two things that I'm loving:

1. a warmish sort of day
2. my children playing nicely while I exercise in the mornings

What a boy

"Mom, what does light green and dark green make?"

"Uh," comes the absentminded, focused-on-dinner-prep response, "medium green."

He looks up quizzically. "You mean, like, kelly green?"

Incredulous pause, then: "Yeah, buddy. Kelly green."

[Who teaches him this stuff?!]

Officially 6 Months

Birthday


1 Month


2 Months


3 Months


4 Months


5 Months


6 Months!!!
  

Report from the Cardiologist

Yesterday we saw Aubrey's cardiologist in Syracuse for her 6-month check-up. She passed the exam with flying colors and many, many comments about how pink and alert and pleasant she is.

Aubrey weighed in at 12lbs11oz. She is growing steadily along the 3rd-percentile growth curve. Our string bean continues to come in at the 50th-percentile for height; yesterday she measured 25.5" long! Her head circumference is 16.25", which is in the 10th-percentile.

[Sometimes people ask why growth is such a big deal for Aubrey since she was born full-term and she's never been alarmingly small. The reason is this: the best indication of her body's blood circulation is continued and steady growth. Practically speaking, weight gain (or lack thereof) has the power to either delay or send a patient to surgery.]

The cardiologist said he would like to see Aubrey in 3 months when she is 9 months old. This will be the longest stretch between visits so far because she is doing so well!

As of now, Dr. Byrum anticipates that around Aubrey's 1st birthday they will begin looking more seriously at surgery and preparing for that. We found out yesterday that Aubrey's surgery is what is considered an elective surgery. In other words, she will not decline so quickly as to require a sudden operation, and there will be time for planning and plotting and scheduling. I am glad for this!

Along the way, we often find out after the fact the kinds of things God has protected Aubrey from. The more Aubrey grows and gets bigger and older, the less likely surgery of the sort that she will require (apart from a miracle) is to interrupt the electrical imuplses of her heart-- which would result in her needing a pacemaker put in. We've known that delaying surgery has been a blessing and that the cardiologists are very happy about this, but we are still finding out about the specific risks that are lessening because of this. It's been amazing to see how God has provided what we need even when we don't know what exactly to be asking for.

God is good!

Parenting Takes a Hit

You probably know about this.

But have you signed this?

And this?

Snow Day

We've got a snow day!

Daniel tried to leave this morning for work as usual, but the sheets of ice that beat against our surroundings all throughout the night made it impossible to get the van out of the driveway. He shoveled and tried to break the ice, only to find that his efforts were making things worse. And so he returned to the house.

I'm so glad! It's been a very busy last two weeks-- we haven't had a simple evening at home with all of us together in the past eleven days-- and this is just what we need. I never thought I would be so happy about such winter-y weather on March 5th!

Yay for snow days!!

Must Read

Danica linked to this today. While I have certainly not been a fan of Obama, I was shocked.

Please take some time to read it. Be informed about what may be at stake in the upcoming presidential election.

My Little Chefs

You may recall that we gave Gabriel, Bronwyn, and Jackson a kitchen set for Christmas. We also gave them some pretend wooden food, which all makes for some great play.

But that's not all they got to set them up for their very own pretend world of cooking and eating. Danica made them each an apron (even Aubrey has one!), as well as a pair of hot mitts, a hot pad, and two dish towels. I have to say that the linens make the whole thing. Especially since each apron has their initial embroidered on it!

Today's News

1. Aubrey rolled over for the first time!

(Yup, she's a little slower than most... but that's OK by this mama!)


2. momandus.com is open! Check it out!

Family Notes

:: Daniel came home today long enough to bathe the kids and then take them to watch an Upward basketball game before he left again for an out-of-the-area wedding. He'll be gone until very late tonight. In fact, I will probably be up once with Aubrey before he returns. I know I should be glad that he at least got to take some time with the kids (which gave me a quiet house and a chance to get some good housework done), but mostly I can't help but think that these days when he is gone in the evenings are very long. And he's been gone a lot of evenings lately.

*sigh*

:: Gabriel has been putting puzzles together, drawing on his M@gnaDoodle, and playing with Gordon non-stop the last couple days. These are all  things he got for his birthday and they hold special appeal because of their newness. It's fun to see him so occupied since he has never been particularly good at entertaining himself.

:: Bronwyn was the whole reason we obtained tickets to last night's show. She went for free, the adult ticket was complimentary as a thanks for the ushering Daniel and I did last summer for a show, and we spent $5 so Gabriel could make the group a trio. Originally, I was hoping to bring them, but the reality of a nursing baby and this season of life I'm in was freshly realized yesterday and so I-- gladly, I am happy to say-- turned my ticket over to Daniel. The three of them had a wonderful time and Bronwyn is freshly  in love with princesses.

(Like she needed any encouragement...)

:: Jackson has been saying some of the cutest things lately. My favorite is when I ask him to do something like get me a clean diaper for Aubrey and his response is, "O' course." It's really adorable!

:: Aubrey is continuing to grow and develop wonderfully. Some days I stop long enough to realize how well she's doing and I am awed by how blessed we are! She enjoys toys a lot and will watch her big brothers and sister for many minutes, but her favorite thing in the world-- besides nursing-- is still "talking." I can only imagine how much she will chatter when she actually learns to speak.

:: I'm feeling pleased these days with the rhythm our family has found over the last month or two. I don't have any outside the home activities to speak of, but it's good because I am able to mostly keep on top of things around here thanks to a very low-key schedule. Most days the items on my To Do list all get accomplished, and this is a good feeling.

I haven't mentioned yet how much I'm enjoying using my new computer, which arrived last week when I was feeling very sick and not very interested in it, but that's not because I don't love it! It's so wonderful to be able to grab snippets in time when nursing Aubrey or putting the kids to bed to catch up on e-mail, look up recipes, work out chore charts, sort through family photos, and more. And the green color makes it pretty cool.

:: That's all. My family, this weekend, in a nutshell.