A Report

We have been to the doctor everyday this week and there is another appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm hoping we'll get the weekend off, though at least the reports at each appointment have been getting better and better as we go.

Aubrey saw one of the cardiologists in Syracuse today and passed her exam with flying colors. He commented several times on how good she looks. Her color and alertness are excellent and her EKG results were normal. The medications she's on are working well and he isn't changing a thing for now. The only improvement he could recommend is more growth-- in his words, "she's a little pokey"-- though he certainly isn't alarmed by the fact that she's just now reached 7lbs 14oz (I assume this is because he deals with cardiac patients everyday and is accustomed to slower growth patterns).

The cardiologist also told us that he, the other three cardiologists, and the pediatric cardiology surgeon "conferenced" about Aubrey recently. This involved discussing her heart and possible surgical procedures to correct it. Bottom line: they aren't sure what they want to do. Better bottom line: they don't have to know right now because she's stable and healthy. They'll see her in a month and if she's grown better than this past month, they'll consider spacing out her appointments even more.

God is watching out for Aubrey and we are still praying for a miracle for her.

Things on my front aren't looking quite so peachy, unfortunately, but I'm hopeful that we'll discover nothing major tomorrow morning when I see the doctor who performed the section (my doctor is a family doctor so she wouldn't have done the section even if she'd been in town). I've passed a good deal of tissue lately, my lower abdomen is increasingly tender and swollen, and my incision has been "burning" quite a bit. A sonogram yesterday didn't show any remnants of the placenta or anything, so I may find out that it's as simple as me overdoing things. I don't know how that's possible since I feel like I'm doing nothing, but one never knows.

What I do know is that I think the original design for getting babies out is far better than the emergency design. I'm glad to have made (and be making) this sacrifice for my beautiful little girl's well-being, but nothing besides my child's life on the line could induce me to go through this again.

This from a mom who has had 2 multi-day labors and 12 stitches after her first baby was born. Trust me, it's still better.

In addition, I'm having milk supply issues because of Aubrey's poor nursing habits. This is stressful for me, which doesn't help. The pump is in action full-time around here; I'm hoping for a turn-around on this front in the next couple days.

All in all, we are moving forward and finding grace for every season. The Word of God is becoming more and more precious to me as I find that the fears, emotions, and stresses of this season are much bigger than me but not bigger than His promises. My heart soars and crashes more times in a day than I can even count and still He is steadfast and immovable.

The Anchor holds.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.  --Matthew 11:28-29

Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.  --Psalm 61:1-4