With every holiday, we transition more and more to our own family traditions. Many of them are borrowed and blended and some of them are altogether new; the sum of them all makes us us. Last year, when out of state travel wasn't a good idea considering my quickly-approaching due-date, Daniel and I looked at one another in awe as we realized that our days of joining others' Christmas Day celebrations are most likely over. At least for the next 15 years or so, we've got to figure this thing out for ourselves. Our own stockings. Our own Christmas morning breakfast. Our own method of gift-giving. Our own traditions.

And, yes, our own gift exchanges.

Today, we joined my family for the traditional Family Shopping Day. You know, the day when we all exchange names and buy another a small gift (it started at $5, now it's up to a whopping $7) to be given Christmas Eve when everyone sits around the lit tree in their pajamas. But this year, instead of being part of the larger family gift exchange, we gave money to our children so they could have an exchange of their own. Tired toddlers don't do well with traipsing about all evening long, so this year we will retire to our own living room beside our own Christmas tree, eating our own cookies and drinking our own homemade eggnog (just wash the eggs
beforehand and, trust me, you'll live and--amazing!--you'll actually like the eggnog since it won't be thick and artificial-tasting like that stuff you otherwise buy in cartons at your local grocery store is) and sharing in our own Christmas reading following the traditional service at the church.

I liked having the children take time to buy someone else a gift. It's so easy for the day to become a self-centered event. I love that their eyes dance with anticipation of stuffed stockings and that their fingers twitch as they look at the brightly wrapped packages under the tree, knowing that soon the day to discover the contents of those packages will be here, but I loved hearing Gabriel's thoughts about what Bronwyn might enjoy receiving even more than I love hearing what he would like. True, Jackson didn't quite know that he was picking out a gift for Gabriel, but in just a year or two more, he will. And Bronwyn found out that, though she liked the book on the shelf much better than the truck, the truck will be more enjoyed by her baby brother.

But I digress.

This traditions-of-our-own-making thing can be daunting. What to choose? There are so many good ideas out there and, truth be told, I'd be worn-out and fried if I tried to do them all, though at times I sure do find myself wanting to try! Finding the things that are meaningful and yet appealing to young minds and attention-spans can be tough. Tougher than I thought, anyway.

But, really, it's been a lot of fun. To stop and realize that we are shaping our children's memories around this time of year. To know that what we determine to do now will quickly be insisted upon by them in the years ahead. To wonder what smells and sounds will be their favorites to recall when they are grown.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's served as a good and fresh reminder that my choices throughout each and every day shape my children. The words I speak and the tone I set in our home will leave an imprint. The things I spend my time on and the activities and events I put effort into are teaching them of my values. What will they remember about me? (I doubt it will be whether or not I vacuum my carpet everyday.)

This is not a fear-filled thing for me to consider--I know that I will make mistakes and stumble along the way--because I rest in His ability to lead and guide them and me. But it is a sobering and inspiring thing for me to consider. The potential I have for marking these three young lives with kindness, patience, truth, joy, and peace is unparalleled.


So the real question is: should they dive into the gifts or take turns opening?