I feel like I should write. Not to make something worth reading, but to clear my head. Not because anything monumental has or hasn't happened, but because sometimes it's in the "norm" that I forget to process.
The activities of my days have been pleasant, actually.
Tuesday afternoon, while 6 eyes were closed tightly in a much-needed pause from the bustle of Christmas-y days, and as I baked cookies (peanut butter blossoms, which I'll have you know is a compromise leaning Daniel's direction since I don't think peanut butter blossoms look one bit holiday-ish and I make them only because they're an absolute favorite of his), Daniel sat in the kitchen and talked with me. We didn't talk about anything in particular. In fact, we took a break from thinking through next semester and promised not to mention 57 Market Street. Our conversation steered clear of child-training or house projects and we refused to discuss any organizational strategies that the worship team might benefit from. We just talked.
It's been too long since we last did that.
(Our Friday night "date night" record was 4 successes, 12 failures. It was better than if we hadn't tried at all, we tell ourselves, as we promise to do better next semester.)
Yesterday I got out of the house for 3+ hours without any small children as I did some purely fun shopping with my mom and big sister. A younger sister stayed with the kids until Daniel got home and could take over. I reveled in getting out of the van without unbuckling a single carseat and in shopping without carting a heavy diaper bag around, among other things. I made it to the SLU bookstore for the first time since I moved here. (As I told my family on Tuesday night, it's not exactly a "kid-friendly" environment!)
It felt like a breath of fresh air, those couple hours.
And, you know, around such activities I've cooked some meals, cleaned a bathroom, scrubbed three heads and six feet, read stories, wrapped gifts, and washed dishes. I've cried twice, laughed a lot more, and wondered how life can be so beautiful and hard all at the same time.
My emotions are unpredictable. I am happy when circumstances would say otherwise. I am sad when everything around me would indicate gladness. Contentment, I continue learning, has less to do with what I have and more to do with who my heart is clinging to.
Jesus, name above all names
Beautiful Savior, glorious Lord
Emmanual, God is with us
Blessed Redeemer, living Word
Yes, yes and yes! To the above post and to your comments! Today has certainly been a day of attitude adjusting and much of it has been mine... I, too love adding to the tree daily -and even new ornaments have made their way there this year. It just looks so nice all full under the tree. Bright paper, ribbons and bows along with the colored lights all twinkling (*hehe*). For some reason I am not yet aware of, there have been no attempts to even touch any of the gifts -other than Aus's insane need to make sure they are all organized -have no idea where he got that from! I keep waiting for the veil to be lifted over Ash's eyes and her to realize what they are. Maybe after this weekend?
ReplyDeletegood post, bri.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a wonderful day! I, too, would revel in not unbuckling a single carseat or toting a bag. It is nice. Thanks for the welcome and congrats. Angela and I are due on the exact same day which is fun for us.
ReplyDeleteWe don't know if we're having a boy and I think it's funny that you asked. I had thought that same thing after I finally finished setting everything up. I really looked at it and said to myself "people will probably think we're having another boy" I chuckled. We never find out the gender...it's too much fun not knowing and makes those final moments well worth it all.
You know... I should do the "newsletter" thing too -that would solve my whole problem of what to write in them! With a little letter -standard for everyone -I could simply sign our names and not worry about "personalizing" it -right? (Please tell me that you dont also personalize every one or my bubble plan that is formulating for next Christmas will burst!)
ReplyDeletei just read on japangela's blog - i had no idea bronwyn was 10 lbs!!!! wow! no wonder she looks so much "older" than kayla in the pictures. of course, kayla was early and tiny (2.5 lbs) but then again, maybe its all the lovely hair bronwyn has! we're still waiting for something significant in the hair department over here!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. It's just so simple and down to earth; a peek into your life. I've been lonely lately, so this is a nice way to fellowship... however a much lesser substitute for the real thing.
ReplyDeleteHow is the women who delivered early? I've been praying for her. Please give her my email if she has any questions about anything.
ReplyDeleteSorry to bug you about this, but I'm also trying to find an update about Mrs. Haller...
ReplyDeleteoh, and you- cry?
I think you're fibbing.