I've felt this way before... many times before. I could be spending good time in the company of good people, but still feel exactly as you described. I guess the way I sorted it out in my thoughts was that they knew and shared a lot about me, but didn't really know me. When asked to describe me they'd probably say, "Wife. Mother. Homemaker. Good singer." It's like yeah, that's what I do. But there's so much more to me than that. I keep thinking about the ocean, and how on the surface we just see a steady blue plain of water, as far as the eye can see. When someone asks us to describe it we say, "It's blue, and big, and a lot of creatures live in it." But we rarely mention the depth. And if we do, most people only imagine a big 'ol sandy bottom. But when I think about what you describe, and my own ponderings, I think of places such as when Dory dropped the mask down into the darkness... It just goes deeper and deeper and deeper. People rarely go that deep with others, and in a way it leaves us un-discovered. Do you feel un-discovered? Or are you like me, you just stinkin' forgot who you once were since becoming a wife and mother?
I thought that only happened to me! I attributed it to people really not knowing me... you know, they know the wife and mom, but they have no clue as to who I was before getting married and the kind of life I led in Guatemala. I have no past or history that people can relate to here... I understand how you feel.
I've felt this way before... many times before. I could be spending good time in the company of good people, but still feel exactly as you described. I guess the way I sorted it out in my thoughts was that they knew and shared a lot about me, but didn't really know me. When asked to describe me they'd probably say, "Wife. Mother. Homemaker. Good singer." It's like yeah, that's what I do. But there's so much more to me than that.
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking about the ocean, and how on the surface we just see a steady blue plain of water, as far as the eye can see. When someone asks us to describe it we say, "It's blue, and big, and a lot of creatures live in it." But we rarely mention the depth. And if we do, most people only imagine a big 'ol sandy bottom. But when I think about what you describe, and my own ponderings, I think of places such as when Dory dropped the mask down into the darkness... It just goes deeper and deeper and deeper. People rarely go that deep with others, and in a way it leaves us un-discovered.
Do you feel un-discovered? Or are you like me, you just stinkin' forgot who you once were since becoming a wife and mother?
Wow. Japangela, I think God must feel that way sometimes. (All that people can know *about* Him, and still not really *know* Him.)
ReplyDeleteI thought that only happened to me! I attributed it to people really not knowing me... you know, they know the wife and mom, but they have no clue as to who I was before getting married and the kind of life I led in Guatemala. I have no past or history that people can relate to here... I understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteAt least you get comments on your site!! lol
ReplyDelete