Honey, he's so tired, I pleaded on my erring 3-year-old's behalf as soon as he was out of earshot. I didn't have to say more, Daniel knew what I wanted: go easy on him... don't ask obedience and self-control right now...

Sometimes these petitions secure mercy for my children. (Usually I know it is better to not make them and, instead, just bite my lip.) Last night, Daniel looked at me and very quietly said, We cannot give him a keepable standard, Brietta.

I knew what he meant. We must require God's standard of our children. And not so we can say, Our children are holier than yours. (Truth be told, they are sinners.) No, in tears and in sorrow of heart many times, we require something our children cannot meet in their own abilities so that they are forced to the altar of Christ.

Rather than saying it another way, I will quote directly from Shepherding A Child's Heart, as this book has helped strengthen my mother's heart for the difficult task of requiring righteousness from my flock.

Parents sometimes give children a keepable standard. Parents think that if their children aren't Christians, they can't obey God from the heart anyway. For example... To do good to oppressors... to pray for those who mistreat you, to entrust yourself to the just Judge, requires a child to come face-to-face with the poverty of his own spirit and his need of the transforming power of the gospel.

The law of God is not easy for natural man. Its standard is high and cannot be achieved apart from God's supernatural grace. God's law teaches us our need for grace. When you fail to hold out God's standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.

There is a time and a place to extend mercy and grace. Even Abraham petitioned God for others. We also have to take into account the fact that my son is only 3 years old and my daughter only 2. There must be much room for childish behavior and endless time given to instruction. But in our child-rearing, I do not want to just make them socially acceptable. I want them to see their brokenness apart from a Savior. And this requires confronting them with their sin.

This is not easy to do. But I remind myself that whether or not I allow the Word to expose my children's spiritual poverty, their poverty is real and present. I can either cover it while they are young and teach them how to cover it themselves when they are older, or I can let the law of God lead them to the gift of Grace.

So I am renewed in my call as a steward of their hearts. I commit again to confront the lying--to address the heart issues of selfishness, covetousness, rebellion, and pride. With my words I speak of His salvation and with my prayers I entreat Him to work in their hearts. I choose to hold up His standard so that they can receive His mercy.

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.