Observations:
1. Whenever I go grocery shopping, it rains. Or at least it seems to.
2. Five stockings hanging from our stair railing is so much more fun than four.
3. Inexpensive electric candles really are lighter in weight than expensive ones and, therefore, problematic.
4. Jamie Cullum is a blast to listen to.
5. Last year, my house transformed from the outside in. (Wreaths were hung before we even lived here.) This year, my house is transforming from the inside out, which means that my dead mums still have residence by my front door.
6. Three kids sleeping at the same time inevitably makes me happy. Hugs & kisses from three kids makes me even happier.
7. Life is busy. If I keep waiting for things to slow down, I might be waiting forever.
8. My new washer definitely cleans clothes better than my old washer did.
9. I like having my girl "sandwiched" by two boys. It's fun.
10. Not having stores nearby actually makes sticking to the Christmas budget harder. (Not as many good sales to choose from.)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Perhaps it's because I've made the drive countless times that there is little joy in the "conquering" by now, but my approach to this year's travel to Pittsburgh and back seriously lacked ambition. (Typically, I am rather aggressive about reaching my destination and don't appreciate stops for anything other than gasoline.) This, in my opinion, was good for everyone. It did mean that the travel days were longer, but it also meant that there was little crying in the van. For this season in family life, the benefits of the latter hands-down outweighed the disadvantages of the former.
Our days this past week were full and happy. We played at Mr. Roger's Neighborhood on Wednesday and were joined by "old friends," as Gabriel dubbed his infancy-to-toddlerhood buddy Joel. The yummy traditions of Thanksgiving Day were added to by the annual Turkey Bowl Daniel played in and the absolutely delightful mayhem six children ages 10 months to 3.5 years create. The remaining days were full of seeing dear friends and family, heading downtown to freeze and thoroughly enjoy the parade (Bronwyn thought the giant Smiley-Face cookie and the horses were the best parts; Gabriel like the giant Macy's CareBear and the drums), a couple meals at some favorite restaurants, enough shopping to tide me over until next time I see stores, playing games, etc.
Gabriel sure does love his Grandma and he sure hates the long drive, as was evidenced by his heartbroken sobbing the first 30 minutes of the drive home.
Bronwyn declared very loudly and of her own accord at the Thanksgiving table that she is thankful for Jocelyn.
Jackson thinks the schedule Mom keeps while on vacation is great, since it means a lot more availability for snuggling and holding.
Daniel and I both agree that our week was practically perfect in every way.
And now we're home, and it's good to be here. We like our house. We need some routine again. The kids need to be re-focused and reminded of the rules. Everybody could use some sleep. And I need to get myself pulled together so that decorations adorn and presents are wrapped and delicious scents waft... SOON!
At Grandma's
2-year-old BedHeads
Proof of Relation
The Clan
Proud Grandparents
Die-Hard Fans
Bedtime Stories with Grandma
Listening to the new Christmas CD from Grandma this morning
Our days this past week were full and happy. We played at Mr. Roger's Neighborhood on Wednesday and were joined by "old friends," as Gabriel dubbed his infancy-to-toddlerhood buddy Joel. The yummy traditions of Thanksgiving Day were added to by the annual Turkey Bowl Daniel played in and the absolutely delightful mayhem six children ages 10 months to 3.5 years create. The remaining days were full of seeing dear friends and family, heading downtown to freeze and thoroughly enjoy the parade (Bronwyn thought the giant Smiley-Face cookie and the horses were the best parts; Gabriel like the giant Macy's CareBear and the drums), a couple meals at some favorite restaurants, enough shopping to tide me over until next time I see stores, playing games, etc.
Gabriel sure does love his Grandma and he sure hates the long drive, as was evidenced by his heartbroken sobbing the first 30 minutes of the drive home.
Bronwyn declared very loudly and of her own accord at the Thanksgiving table that she is thankful for Jocelyn.
Jackson thinks the schedule Mom keeps while on vacation is great, since it means a lot more availability for snuggling and holding.
Daniel and I both agree that our week was practically perfect in every way.
And now we're home, and it's good to be here. We like our house. We need some routine again. The kids need to be re-focused and reminded of the rules. Everybody could use some sleep. And I need to get myself pulled together so that decorations adorn and presents are wrapped and delicious scents waft... SOON!
The Kids at Mr Roger's Neighborhood
At Grandma's
2-year-old BedHeads
Proof of Relation
The Clan
Proud Grandparents
Die-Hard Fans
Bedtime Stories with Grandma
Listening to the new Christmas CD from Grandma this morning
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Monday is typically the longest day in our house. You see, since our "weekend" is Tuesday, Monday is the "big push" day. Daniel sometimes squeezes a stop at home in the 5:30-6:30pm hour before he heads off to the ESL class, but most weeks it's just not worth the gas money and travel-time. Staying in Potsdam during that hour means another student he can meet with, and it also means that I'm not frantically preparing a meal that will need to be completely ready the minute he walks in the door, which is very hard since I have a 10-month-old who typically hangs onto my pants and takes every step with me and 2 older children who are usually bored and getting into trouble during the evening hours. (The chance to feed the kids PB&J on paper plates--thereby eliminating the evening frenzy--usually outweighs the benefits of seeing Daniel for an hour.)
Of late, Mondays have been particularly draining since our weekends have been extremely packed and sleepless. I sure am enjoying the Courtship Series Daniel and I are teaching Sunday mornings, but it's meant a lot of late Saturday nights. 8:15am yesterday found us at the church, running around like crazy people, after a pathetic 4 hours of sleep. (Have I ever mentioned that I love sleeep?)
On the agenda for today:
Of late, Mondays have been particularly draining since our weekends have been extremely packed and sleepless. I sure am enjoying the Courtship Series Daniel and I are teaching Sunday mornings, but it's meant a lot of late Saturday nights. 8:15am yesterday found us at the church, running around like crazy people, after a pathetic 4 hours of sleep. (Have I ever mentioned that I love sleeep?)
On the agenda for today:
- Laundry--lots of it. The new washer is here, the dryer has a vent that is long enough, and I have HE laundry detergent in my possession. I am embarrassed to tell you that it has been over 2 weeks since our bedsheets were washed, as I decided it wasn't worth the effort to clean them when I didn't have a working washing machine here at home. (Don't worry, they were the first things in the washer this morning!) In addition to "catching up," I also need to get laundry done so I can pack for our trip to Pgh tomorrow. (Fortunately for me, if I get in a real pinch and have to pack some dirty laundry, well, my mom-in-law is a pretty gracious lady and will just probably let me do it at her house.)
- Cleaning--for departure. I don't like coming home to a dirty house and I really don't like coming home to moldy food, so this means I want to clean bathrooms, dust and vacuum, and clean out the refrigerator before we leave tomorrow. This is a very do-able goal when not considering the 3 children I have to care for.
- Bake pies--what Thanksgiving is complete without apple pies? I really hope to get this done!
- Wrap Christmas gifts--for Pgh family members. This has always been a very enjoyable task for me, since I like wrapping and giving gifts, but it has become one of those "tricky" things to accomplish now that I have kids. Paper, ribbon, scissors, and Scotch tape are just so intruiging to little people that I spend almost as much time removing said things from little fingers as I do wrapping.
- Bathe kids--I have yet to figure out how my mom bathed us 1x/week on average growing up, since it seems as though my children are constantly getting food in their hair, dirt on their faces, etc. My 3x/week bathe-the-kids schedule barely keeps them decent-looking, but I don't dare try to bathe them more often since it would probably make me insane. (Baths are not fun around here.)
- Care for my children's souls--not just their bodies. Sometimes I forget this one, but this morning while showering I was reminded again of what is truly important. There are too many days when my agenda is cleaning, guarding, and preparing the outward, when awakening their spirits to Jesus is so much more critical. If all else fails, I want to take time for this
Friday, November 17, 2006
Honey, he's so tired, I pleaded on my erring 3-year-old's behalf as soon as he was out of earshot. I didn't have to say more, Daniel knew what I wanted: go easy on him... don't ask obedience and self-control right now...
Sometimes these petitions secure mercy for my children. (Usually I know it is better to not make them and, instead, just bite my lip.) Last night, Daniel looked at me and very quietly said, We cannot give him a keepable standard, Brietta.
I knew what he meant. We must require God's standard of our children. And not so we can say, Our children are holier than yours. (Truth be told, they are sinners.) No, in tears and in sorrow of heart many times, we require something our children cannot meet in their own abilities so that they are forced to the altar of Christ.
Rather than saying it another way, I will quote directly from Shepherding A Child's Heart, as this book has helped strengthen my mother's heart for the difficult task of requiring righteousness from my flock.
There is a time and a place to extend mercy and grace. Even Abraham petitioned God for others. We also have to take into account the fact that my son is only 3 years old and my daughter only 2. There must be much room for childish behavior and endless time given to instruction. But in our child-rearing, I do not want to just make them socially acceptable. I want them to see their brokenness apart from a Savior. And this requires confronting them with their sin.
This is not easy to do. But I remind myself that whether or not I allow the Word to expose my children's spiritual poverty, their poverty is real and present. I can either cover it while they are young and teach them how to cover it themselves when they are older, or I can let the law of God lead them to the gift of Grace.
So I am renewed in my call as a steward of their hearts. I commit again to confront the lying--to address the heart issues of selfishness, covetousness, rebellion, and pride. With my words I speak of His salvation and with my prayers I entreat Him to work in their hearts. I choose to hold up His standard so that they can receive His mercy.
Sometimes these petitions secure mercy for my children. (Usually I know it is better to not make them and, instead, just bite my lip.) Last night, Daniel looked at me and very quietly said, We cannot give him a keepable standard, Brietta.
I knew what he meant. We must require God's standard of our children. And not so we can say, Our children are holier than yours. (Truth be told, they are sinners.) No, in tears and in sorrow of heart many times, we require something our children cannot meet in their own abilities so that they are forced to the altar of Christ.
Rather than saying it another way, I will quote directly from Shepherding A Child's Heart, as this book has helped strengthen my mother's heart for the difficult task of requiring righteousness from my flock.
Parents sometimes give children a keepable standard. Parents think that if their children aren't Christians, they can't obey God from the heart anyway. For example... To do good to oppressors... to pray for those who mistreat you, to entrust yourself to the just Judge, requires a child to come face-to-face with the poverty of his own spirit and his need of the transforming power of the gospel.
The law of God is not easy for natural man. Its standard is high and cannot be achieved apart from God's supernatural grace. God's law teaches us our need for grace. When you fail to hold out God's standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.
The law of God is not easy for natural man. Its standard is high and cannot be achieved apart from God's supernatural grace. God's law teaches us our need for grace. When you fail to hold out God's standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.
There is a time and a place to extend mercy and grace. Even Abraham petitioned God for others. We also have to take into account the fact that my son is only 3 years old and my daughter only 2. There must be much room for childish behavior and endless time given to instruction. But in our child-rearing, I do not want to just make them socially acceptable. I want them to see their brokenness apart from a Savior. And this requires confronting them with their sin.
This is not easy to do. But I remind myself that whether or not I allow the Word to expose my children's spiritual poverty, their poverty is real and present. I can either cover it while they are young and teach them how to cover it themselves when they are older, or I can let the law of God lead them to the gift of Grace.
So I am renewed in my call as a steward of their hearts. I commit again to confront the lying--to address the heart issues of selfishness, covetousness, rebellion, and pride. With my words I speak of His salvation and with my prayers I entreat Him to work in their hearts. I choose to hold up His standard so that they can receive His mercy.
For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Transitions
My 24 short years alive by no means make me an expert on transitions. And 1 marriage, 2 significant moves and 3 kids later, I'm beginning to understand that I will never be able to predict the challenges and joys that accompany any and every transition.
Motherhood is certainly a major transition. I remember one night when Gabriel was about 5 or 6 months old and I was growing very weary of not sleeping, I really had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't just bow out of this particular ministry, even for a short time. My Ministry Head wouldn't accept my, "I'm sorry; I'm just really burned out right now and feel I need a break." Nope, I was in this for the long-haul, for better or for worse and regardless of its implications on my life. My needs vs. another's needs took on a whole new meaning. (I might refer to motherhood as "forced sanctification.")
Perhaps it was my delight in being a mom, though, that made the 0-1 children transition an over-arching incredibly delightfulful time. I like to think so, anyway--especially since the bliss of motherhood is my only excuse for not even bothering to lose the last 10 baby pounds before getting pregnant again.
Many moms and dads have told me that 3 children is the most difficult transition. A few, like me (for now), say that 2 is very hard. My mom will console moms of 4 with her own experience of 4 children being the most challenging season as a mother. Pretty much everyone with 5+ children tells me it only gets easier as you grow wiser. My personal research in gathering these opinions tells me that the age of the oldest child often indicates the nature of the transition the most. For example, if your oldest is 7+ when the 4th child is born, chances are #2 or #3 child will hold the record for Most Challenging Transition, regardless of how many more kids you add. (My siblings and I--the first 4 of 9--were 4 children ages 5 and under, which explains a lot of my growing esteem for my mom.)
In other words: you want your kids feeding and dressing themselves as soon as possible, as this will make your life indescribably simpler.
When Bronwyn joined our family, I was breathless with joy. Two kids made us feel so much like a family, and to have a daughter of my very own? Well, words just don't do justice to the feelings I felt. To add to the joy, there wasn't an ounce of sibling jealousy on Gabriel's part. Sure, my boy had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I was no longer his sole possession nor my time his alone to spend, but that realization was bound to come at some point, with or without the birth of a sweet little girl.
I figured, I did this once, I can do it again. And I did: I got through those first 6 months with two children.
But it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty.
There were lots of challenges and they were all found in the little things; the unexpected things. Like how to take a shower. When Gabriel was a baby, he sat in his bouncy chair (sometimes crying) while I showered. When he got old enough, I would bring some toys into the bathroom and he would play during those ever-shortened showers, which provided good incentive to keep the bathroom clean. But suddenly there were two little people to occupy for 5 whole minutes, and the one who would naturally fit in the bouncy seat category might get hurt by her overly-attentive older brother if I left her unattended with him. Who knew trying to take a shower could be so incredibly stressful???
Sure, I'll agree with most that 3 kids is more work than 2. (That doesn't take rocket science to figure.) And I will be the first to tell you that I cried a lot when I first knew I was pregnant with Jack. (They weren't all happy tears.) I was fearful and unsure about adding another child to our home. Imagine my shock to have found the last 10 months easier in may ways than the prior 10!
For now, it's been in the little things that life with 3 (the first 2 getting older being a key in this equation) has been simpler. I was ready for the big stuff to be hard, so when the big stuff has been hard, I've been ready. But after those first months with Bronwyn, I was ready for the little things to really be a challenge, too... and they haven't been.
For example: Yesterday as I was putting Jackson down for bed, which he was putting up a significant fight about, it dawned on me that I wasn't even worried about my 2 kids downstairs putting puzzles together. I had a flashback to similar moments when Bronwyn was a baby. I had a noisy almost-2-year-old by my side since I couldn't trust him to stay out of the toilet, etc., and it made lulling the infant in her crib to sleep an arduous task. Let me tell you, sibling accountability can be a very beneficial thing. Maybe it's just my own kids that have a tendancy toward "tattling." For sure and for certain, if one does something wrong, I will hear a loud and offended cry from the other--even if the offense was far from personal. This can be extremely helpful when I am in the other room or, say, showering.
All I know is that I ought to stop trying to predict. I end up borrowing trouble over some things and then getting blindsided by others.
This, my friends, is my conclusion on transitions.
(To satisfy my curiousity, let's take a poll: Is 0-1, 2-3, or 3-4 the most challenging transition as a mom, in your humble opinion?!)
Motherhood is certainly a major transition. I remember one night when Gabriel was about 5 or 6 months old and I was growing very weary of not sleeping, I really had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't just bow out of this particular ministry, even for a short time. My Ministry Head wouldn't accept my, "I'm sorry; I'm just really burned out right now and feel I need a break." Nope, I was in this for the long-haul, for better or for worse and regardless of its implications on my life. My needs vs. another's needs took on a whole new meaning. (I might refer to motherhood as "forced sanctification.")
Perhaps it was my delight in being a mom, though, that made the 0-1 children transition an over-arching incredibly delightfulful time. I like to think so, anyway--especially since the bliss of motherhood is my only excuse for not even bothering to lose the last 10 baby pounds before getting pregnant again.
Many moms and dads have told me that 3 children is the most difficult transition. A few, like me (for now), say that 2 is very hard. My mom will console moms of 4 with her own experience of 4 children being the most challenging season as a mother. Pretty much everyone with 5+ children tells me it only gets easier as you grow wiser. My personal research in gathering these opinions tells me that the age of the oldest child often indicates the nature of the transition the most. For example, if your oldest is 7+ when the 4th child is born, chances are #2 or #3 child will hold the record for Most Challenging Transition, regardless of how many more kids you add. (My siblings and I--the first 4 of 9--were 4 children ages 5 and under, which explains a lot of my growing esteem for my mom.)
In other words: you want your kids feeding and dressing themselves as soon as possible, as this will make your life indescribably simpler.
When Bronwyn joined our family, I was breathless with joy. Two kids made us feel so much like a family, and to have a daughter of my very own? Well, words just don't do justice to the feelings I felt. To add to the joy, there wasn't an ounce of sibling jealousy on Gabriel's part. Sure, my boy had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I was no longer his sole possession nor my time his alone to spend, but that realization was bound to come at some point, with or without the birth of a sweet little girl.
I figured, I did this once, I can do it again. And I did: I got through those first 6 months with two children.
But it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty.
There were lots of challenges and they were all found in the little things; the unexpected things. Like how to take a shower. When Gabriel was a baby, he sat in his bouncy chair (sometimes crying) while I showered. When he got old enough, I would bring some toys into the bathroom and he would play during those ever-shortened showers, which provided good incentive to keep the bathroom clean. But suddenly there were two little people to occupy for 5 whole minutes, and the one who would naturally fit in the bouncy seat category might get hurt by her overly-attentive older brother if I left her unattended with him. Who knew trying to take a shower could be so incredibly stressful???
Sure, I'll agree with most that 3 kids is more work than 2. (That doesn't take rocket science to figure.) And I will be the first to tell you that I cried a lot when I first knew I was pregnant with Jack. (They weren't all happy tears.) I was fearful and unsure about adding another child to our home. Imagine my shock to have found the last 10 months easier in may ways than the prior 10!
For now, it's been in the little things that life with 3 (the first 2 getting older being a key in this equation) has been simpler. I was ready for the big stuff to be hard, so when the big stuff has been hard, I've been ready. But after those first months with Bronwyn, I was ready for the little things to really be a challenge, too... and they haven't been.
For example: Yesterday as I was putting Jackson down for bed, which he was putting up a significant fight about, it dawned on me that I wasn't even worried about my 2 kids downstairs putting puzzles together. I had a flashback to similar moments when Bronwyn was a baby. I had a noisy almost-2-year-old by my side since I couldn't trust him to stay out of the toilet, etc., and it made lulling the infant in her crib to sleep an arduous task. Let me tell you, sibling accountability can be a very beneficial thing. Maybe it's just my own kids that have a tendancy toward "tattling." For sure and for certain, if one does something wrong, I will hear a loud and offended cry from the other--even if the offense was far from personal. This can be extremely helpful when I am in the other room or, say, showering.
All I know is that I ought to stop trying to predict. I end up borrowing trouble over some things and then getting blindsided by others.
This, my friends, is my conclusion on transitions.
(To satisfy my curiousity, let's take a poll: Is 0-1, 2-3, or 3-4 the most challenging transition as a mom, in your humble opinion?!)
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
10 months old today. I don't think it's just me; this year is flying by. Wow.
In the last week, Jack has grown up a lot. It was as though he woke up Monday morning and decided he was "one of the kids." Suddenly he's getting into trouble, standing on his own (accidentally, of course), pushing cars around the floor, playing hide-and-seek under the table with Gabriel...
To maintain his status as my baby, other than a handful of Cheerios during the dinner hour to keep him occupied in his highchair, Jack is still solely breasfteeding. Unfortunately for me, due to his increased mobility and activity these days and the accompanying discontent with what my body is providing him, I'm going to have to spring for some table food sooner or later.
I'm thinking I'll go for as "later" as possible. The longer I'm a mom, the more impressed I am with God's design. It's just plain old easier on both baby and me!
* * * * *
When our washer broke last week, it wasn't unexpected. We bought the thing very used 5 years ago. Our plan has been to replace it around the holidays, when appliances go on sale.
The afternoon our washer broke, a friend from church who has been working at Sears called to say that the washer we've wanted would be going on sale Monday and that he had a coupon he could use for us in addition to the sale price. All said and done, he managed to get us 30% off, plus free delivery and set up. We should be up and running on Friday.
What a blessing.
* * * * *
Last week I made oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and carrots with dill for dinner. It was a decent-tasting meal in my book and Daniel loved it, but I decided one of the reasons I hate "American" food is because it involves a million different pots and pans and the timing of multiple dishes being done at the same minute. I'm sorry, but this busy mom-of-three is quickly becoming a fan of the one-dish menus. Get the vegetable included with the meat/beans and rice/pasta and I'm totally there.
* * * * *
Along with Jackson marking 10 months of age, I am marking the longest I've been un-pregnant since spring of 2002. Please don't get me wrong--I absolutely love my children and am very much hoping for more in the future--but it is very nice to enjoy this season is my youngest's life without my head being stuck in the toilet.
* * * * *
The end of November is ever drawing nigh, and with it the realization that I will probably not get my Thanksgiving banner made this year. My monthly trip to hit up stores like Wal-Mart and Aldi resulted in the sad discovery that quilting squares are not to be found in Massena. I left with the hope that I might get to Ogdensburg for a stop at JoAnn's to get the needed materials one day soon, but since then I've been a little too busy to make a 30+ mile drive for some fabric and buttons.
Oh well. I'll just tear that picture out of the catalog and tuck it away for next year. I really am looking forward to not just having the banner, but to making it with the kids, and I figure Bronwyn will be able to participate more in the creating at age 3 than at age 2 anyway.
* * * * *
The Christmas season is quickly approaching and I am growing excited. The bulk of my shopping is finished. All that's left is the small (and sometimes surprisingly tricky, especially now that I don't live near stores) task of "finishing" the gifts. Then, of course, I want to be sure the stockings really will be stuffed--which wouldn't be a bit challenging for me except for budgets.
Before long, wreaths will be adorning my house in classic Colonial Williamsburg style. Daniel and I love Christmas too much to let it come and go quickly, so our tree will probably make its appearance in our home the first Tuesday in December. A decorated tree of course means a fresh batch of rumlogs baked and frosted to savor while staring in wonder at the twinkling lights and pretty ribbon and trinkets.
But first, Thanksgiving. And along with a day for giving of thanks comes a week's worth of days to spend with family and friends in our home-away-from-home.
I love this time of year.
* * * * *
God is faithful.
Each day lived strengthens my declaration that this is enough.
In the last week, Jack has grown up a lot. It was as though he woke up Monday morning and decided he was "one of the kids." Suddenly he's getting into trouble, standing on his own (accidentally, of course), pushing cars around the floor, playing hide-and-seek under the table with Gabriel...
To maintain his status as my baby, other than a handful of Cheerios during the dinner hour to keep him occupied in his highchair, Jack is still solely breasfteeding. Unfortunately for me, due to his increased mobility and activity these days and the accompanying discontent with what my body is providing him, I'm going to have to spring for some table food sooner or later.
I'm thinking I'll go for as "later" as possible. The longer I'm a mom, the more impressed I am with God's design. It's just plain old easier on both baby and me!
* * * * *
When our washer broke last week, it wasn't unexpected. We bought the thing very used 5 years ago. Our plan has been to replace it around the holidays, when appliances go on sale.
The afternoon our washer broke, a friend from church who has been working at Sears called to say that the washer we've wanted would be going on sale Monday and that he had a coupon he could use for us in addition to the sale price. All said and done, he managed to get us 30% off, plus free delivery and set up. We should be up and running on Friday.
What a blessing.
* * * * *
Last week I made oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and carrots with dill for dinner. It was a decent-tasting meal in my book and Daniel loved it, but I decided one of the reasons I hate "American" food is because it involves a million different pots and pans and the timing of multiple dishes being done at the same minute. I'm sorry, but this busy mom-of-three is quickly becoming a fan of the one-dish menus. Get the vegetable included with the meat/beans and rice/pasta and I'm totally there.
* * * * *
Along with Jackson marking 10 months of age, I am marking the longest I've been un-pregnant since spring of 2002. Please don't get me wrong--I absolutely love my children and am very much hoping for more in the future--but it is very nice to enjoy this season is my youngest's life without my head being stuck in the toilet.
* * * * *
The end of November is ever drawing nigh, and with it the realization that I will probably not get my Thanksgiving banner made this year. My monthly trip to hit up stores like Wal-Mart and Aldi resulted in the sad discovery that quilting squares are not to be found in Massena. I left with the hope that I might get to Ogdensburg for a stop at JoAnn's to get the needed materials one day soon, but since then I've been a little too busy to make a 30+ mile drive for some fabric and buttons.
Oh well. I'll just tear that picture out of the catalog and tuck it away for next year. I really am looking forward to not just having the banner, but to making it with the kids, and I figure Bronwyn will be able to participate more in the creating at age 3 than at age 2 anyway.
* * * * *
The Christmas season is quickly approaching and I am growing excited. The bulk of my shopping is finished. All that's left is the small (and sometimes surprisingly tricky, especially now that I don't live near stores) task of "finishing" the gifts. Then, of course, I want to be sure the stockings really will be stuffed--which wouldn't be a bit challenging for me except for budgets.
Before long, wreaths will be adorning my house in classic Colonial Williamsburg style. Daniel and I love Christmas too much to let it come and go quickly, so our tree will probably make its appearance in our home the first Tuesday in December. A decorated tree of course means a fresh batch of rumlogs baked and frosted to savor while staring in wonder at the twinkling lights and pretty ribbon and trinkets.
But first, Thanksgiving. And along with a day for giving of thanks comes a week's worth of days to spend with family and friends in our home-away-from-home.
I love this time of year.
* * * * *
God is faithful.
Each day lived strengthens my declaration that this is enough.
Monday, November 13, 2006
I just got done bathing the kids. All three are in clean pjs (quite an accomplishment tonight since our washer broke last week and isn't yet replaced) and are in the family room. Gabriel and Bronwyn are watching Prince of Egypt and Jackson is playing with toys. In an hour, the two younger ones will go to bed. Gabriel will stay awake a bit later tonight due to a long nap this afternoon at an age that is quickly outgrowing naps.
The kitchen is clean. Everything that was being played with before dinner has been picked up and put away. If all goes well, I will have a couple hours to do some quiet things before Daniel gets home around 10pm.
Ordinarily, I would feel quite pleased right now.
But it just dawned on me that I never washed Gabriel's hair.
The kitchen is clean. Everything that was being played with before dinner has been picked up and put away. If all goes well, I will have a couple hours to do some quiet things before Daniel gets home around 10pm.
Ordinarily, I would feel quite pleased right now.
But it just dawned on me that I never washed Gabriel's hair.
The first line of the song I posted on Saturday continues to capture my mind. His fathering heart is incomprehensible to me. I think I will only grasp His heart toward me when I see Him face to face.
Sometimes I get so caught up in thinking I have to figure this thing called life out; I have to read enough books, listen to and absorb every available sermon, make the right decision more than the wrong one, punish myself when I've messed up, master motherhood and servanthood and Body life. I so want to be a disciple. I so want to learn Him and His ways. And I don't think this desire is altogether wrong.
But He is my Father.
He wants to teach me. He wants to show me. He's not expecting for a minute that I will know how and what to do the first time. He gave the Holy Spirit because He knows that this feeble mind and heart can only do so much before the Spirit must take over.
Why do I try to teach myself? Why do I seek to do life in my own strength? When mothering is exhausting and there is little joy for me in the day-to-day, why do I try to fix it myself? I end up feeling condemned and worthless.
Your grace is enough...
The question is, will I let it be? Will I let Him be my Father? Will I rest in the knowledge that He knows more than me... sees more than me... loves more than me... forgives more than me?--or will I ever struggle to fix myself?
You are God in heaven and here am I on earth...
He is my Father. I am His daughter. His salvation redeems me completely. I will let Him be God. I will let Him teach me. I will let Him wrestle this heart. He is my Father.
Sometimes I get so caught up in thinking I have to figure this thing called life out; I have to read enough books, listen to and absorb every available sermon, make the right decision more than the wrong one, punish myself when I've messed up, master motherhood and servanthood and Body life. I so want to be a disciple. I so want to learn Him and His ways. And I don't think this desire is altogether wrong.
But He is my Father.
He wants to teach me. He wants to show me. He's not expecting for a minute that I will know how and what to do the first time. He gave the Holy Spirit because He knows that this feeble mind and heart can only do so much before the Spirit must take over.
Why do I try to teach myself? Why do I seek to do life in my own strength? When mothering is exhausting and there is little joy for me in the day-to-day, why do I try to fix it myself? I end up feeling condemned and worthless.
Your grace is enough...
The question is, will I let it be? Will I let Him be my Father? Will I rest in the knowledge that He knows more than me... sees more than me... loves more than me... forgives more than me?--or will I ever struggle to fix myself?
You are God in heaven and here am I on earth...
He is my Father. I am His daughter. His salvation redeems me completely. I will let Him be God. I will let Him teach me. I will let Him wrestle this heart. He is my Father.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Thursday, November 9, 2006
My soul is feeling bruised.
Could be that I'm in "that place" that the cycle of my heart does at times lead me to. A place of disillusionment, disappointment, and discouragement.
Could be that my enemy is real and waging war against me.
Could be that physical exhaustion sooner or later translates into spiritual and emotional exhaustion, and that I am perpetually tired.
Could be that He is allowing the pursuits of my heart to be revealed for what they are: my pursuits.
Could be.
Today has been one of tears. If you asked me what about, I'm not quite sure I could tell you. I might just say, "Anything and everything," and leave it at that. (Days like this aren't brought on by logic, anyway.)
It's probably because I have toddlers, but Jesus Loves Me is the song I find myself singing more and more. When dressing Bronwyn, while washing sticky hands, as I nurse Jackson, in the morning and afternoon and evening, such simple songs as this are my tune.
Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.
He loves me. And I know. This heart, this soul--bruised and battered as I might feel--knows that Jesus loves me. And though I'm weak, He is ever strong.
Does anything else really matter?
Could be that I'm in "that place" that the cycle of my heart does at times lead me to. A place of disillusionment, disappointment, and discouragement.
Could be that my enemy is real and waging war against me.
Could be that physical exhaustion sooner or later translates into spiritual and emotional exhaustion, and that I am perpetually tired.
Could be that He is allowing the pursuits of my heart to be revealed for what they are: my pursuits.
Could be.
Today has been one of tears. If you asked me what about, I'm not quite sure I could tell you. I might just say, "Anything and everything," and leave it at that. (Days like this aren't brought on by logic, anyway.)
It's probably because I have toddlers, but Jesus Loves Me is the song I find myself singing more and more. When dressing Bronwyn, while washing sticky hands, as I nurse Jackson, in the morning and afternoon and evening, such simple songs as this are my tune.
Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.
He loves me. And I know. This heart, this soul--bruised and battered as I might feel--knows that Jesus loves me. And though I'm weak, He is ever strong.
Does anything else really matter?
Monday, November 6, 2006
We've reached the cold-morning months. You know: the days when it's torture to remove the blanket and expose your flesh to the biting temperature you keep your house at throughout the night hours. (The reason for keeping your house cold at night is simply that your heating bill will be more than the national defecit if you don't.)
Today, the forced air heating system happened to be on the "forced air" part of the cycle when I had to crawl from under my down comforter. This was wonderful, since it meant that my house was at 61* instead of 58-59* when the morning air greeted me fully. (Of course, I promptly cranked the thermostat up to our "daytime" setting of 68*.)
Ah.
The little things in life.
* * * * *
A question was issued: what is 57 Market St? I realized--too late--after my last post that for those not from the small circle of my life, one might think I was going to be moving soon. Oh no. That is definitely not it. I love my "yellow house."
57 Market St. will soon be CFC's College Life Center.
Yup. It's really happening! It won't be long before that recently and well-remodeled storefront will serve as a meeting place and outreach center to area college students.
Let me just say it's really cool to be around 40+ students who are totally psyched about this.
* * * * *
Speaking of students, BASIC was great. I missed several big chunks of sharing due to a certain 9.5-month-old who was having to be flexible with sleep just by staying up through worship that wasn't over until at least 9pm both nights, but I got to be there to get the flavor of what the Lord was doing and that was awesome. And I was also there to witness more changes to the conference that the new BASIC leadership has made--all of them good.
* * * * *
Heat, coffee, children playing happily.
I'm blessed, huh?
Today, the forced air heating system happened to be on the "forced air" part of the cycle when I had to crawl from under my down comforter. This was wonderful, since it meant that my house was at 61* instead of 58-59* when the morning air greeted me fully. (Of course, I promptly cranked the thermostat up to our "daytime" setting of 68*.)
Ah.
The little things in life.
* * * * *
A question was issued: what is 57 Market St? I realized--too late--after my last post that for those not from the small circle of my life, one might think I was going to be moving soon. Oh no. That is definitely not it. I love my "yellow house."
57 Market St. will soon be CFC's College Life Center.
Yup. It's really happening! It won't be long before that recently and well-remodeled storefront will serve as a meeting place and outreach center to area college students.
Let me just say it's really cool to be around 40+ students who are totally psyched about this.
* * * * *
Speaking of students, BASIC was great. I missed several big chunks of sharing due to a certain 9.5-month-old who was having to be flexible with sleep just by staying up through worship that wasn't over until at least 9pm both nights, but I got to be there to get the flavor of what the Lord was doing and that was awesome. And I was also there to witness more changes to the conference that the new BASIC leadership has made--all of them good.
* * * * *
Heat, coffee, children playing happily.
I'm blessed, huh?
Thursday, November 2, 2006
Bits:
--The lease for 57 Market Street will be arriving in my husband's Inbox sometime this afternoon. Words can't express how happy this makes me!
My faith is enlarged today because it is assured today. I see how specifically and faithfully God has answered our prayers and hearts' cries, and I know that this victory must be marked in my heart and mind. There is ever an evil day when the enemy of my soul would try to dissuade me that He isn't faithful... that He doesn't hear... that He isn't moved. I want to remember today.
--I have been frustrated by the lack of fall/Thanksgiving decor in my possession, as I feel that Thanksgiving is quickly becoming a holiday lost in the hustle and bustle of Halloween and Christmas and I want to be sure that my children recognize the importance of a day for giving thanks.
Last night, though, as I was perusing a Pottery Barn Kids catalog (I'm not sure why I do such things... perhaps to torture myself), I saw a Thanksgiving banner that looks as though it can easily be made at home. My objective now is to get quilting squares, several pieces of felt, and a lot of colorful buttons, and put together a banner of our own that can be used year after year.
--One of Jackson's four top teeth has come in enough for me to see that it is surprisingly crooked for a baby tooth. It makes me wonder if he inherited more than just the red-hair genes and also got my red-haired sisters' crooked-teeth gene. I really am hoping this is not the case, as I don't enjoy the idea of orthodontic bills.
--Tomorrow afternoon we leave for the fall BASIC conference. As of Monday, we have 39 students and 6 church workers/others attending the weekend in its entirety; I think some more people are planning on driving down to catch some of the sessions on Saturday.
God is doing some amazing things among the students.
Sunday night at LIFE Group, I was so encouraged. It's so good to see that His work really is continuing; that His Kingdom is expanding right here in me and in the people around me. I think there is absolutely nothing more refreshing than witnessing someone new to the Lord "get it." Awesome!
--In three weeks we'll be in Pittsburgh, visiting friends and family. I am already beginning to anticipate our time down there and I've even managed to get Gabriel focused on the joys of such a trip rather than complaining about how long a drive it is. (Matt and Sarah's trip up last month helped encourage him that seeing everyone again will be well-worth the travel!) He is now busy talking about playing Little People with Grandma, visiting Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, eating "gramola," etc.
--In keeping with the past couple days, today my kids have been busy. I am tired of breaking up fights, holding a whining baby, attending to boo-boos caused by wild play, and fixing broken toys and books that have been damaged in the wake of three energetic bodies. So what did I do when I heard baskets of toys crashing down in the family room and Gabriel's desperate cry that Jack was pulling all the tape out of a VHS?
I did what any good mom does: I turned the hand mixer up higher to drown out the noise.
--The lease for 57 Market Street will be arriving in my husband's Inbox sometime this afternoon. Words can't express how happy this makes me!
My faith is enlarged today because it is assured today. I see how specifically and faithfully God has answered our prayers and hearts' cries, and I know that this victory must be marked in my heart and mind. There is ever an evil day when the enemy of my soul would try to dissuade me that He isn't faithful... that He doesn't hear... that He isn't moved. I want to remember today.
--I have been frustrated by the lack of fall/Thanksgiving decor in my possession, as I feel that Thanksgiving is quickly becoming a holiday lost in the hustle and bustle of Halloween and Christmas and I want to be sure that my children recognize the importance of a day for giving thanks.
Last night, though, as I was perusing a Pottery Barn Kids catalog (I'm not sure why I do such things... perhaps to torture myself), I saw a Thanksgiving banner that looks as though it can easily be made at home. My objective now is to get quilting squares, several pieces of felt, and a lot of colorful buttons, and put together a banner of our own that can be used year after year.
--One of Jackson's four top teeth has come in enough for me to see that it is surprisingly crooked for a baby tooth. It makes me wonder if he inherited more than just the red-hair genes and also got my red-haired sisters' crooked-teeth gene. I really am hoping this is not the case, as I don't enjoy the idea of orthodontic bills.
--Tomorrow afternoon we leave for the fall BASIC conference. As of Monday, we have 39 students and 6 church workers/others attending the weekend in its entirety; I think some more people are planning on driving down to catch some of the sessions on Saturday.
God is doing some amazing things among the students.
Sunday night at LIFE Group, I was so encouraged. It's so good to see that His work really is continuing; that His Kingdom is expanding right here in me and in the people around me. I think there is absolutely nothing more refreshing than witnessing someone new to the Lord "get it." Awesome!
--In three weeks we'll be in Pittsburgh, visiting friends and family. I am already beginning to anticipate our time down there and I've even managed to get Gabriel focused on the joys of such a trip rather than complaining about how long a drive it is. (Matt and Sarah's trip up last month helped encourage him that seeing everyone again will be well-worth the travel!) He is now busy talking about playing Little People with Grandma, visiting Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, eating "gramola," etc.
--In keeping with the past couple days, today my kids have been busy. I am tired of breaking up fights, holding a whining baby, attending to boo-boos caused by wild play, and fixing broken toys and books that have been damaged in the wake of three energetic bodies. So what did I do when I heard baskets of toys crashing down in the family room and Gabriel's desperate cry that Jack was pulling all the tape out of a VHS?
I did what any good mom does: I turned the hand mixer up higher to drown out the noise.
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
I'm sorry, he said as he headed out the door.
I knew he was apologizing on behalf of the children, who had already managed to terrorize me to the point of insanity.
Why? For not taking me with you? I laughed as I responded.
He smiled as he left the porch. I shut the door with a sigh and leaned my head against it. I wonder why it sometimes helps to just close my eyes for a minute -- after all, I know exactly what is going on behind me since my children are none too quiet in their bickering and disobedience -- but it does. It helps more if I breathe a quick cry for help to the Lord, too.
He never said it would be easy. I didn't bother asking.
He never said it wouldn't be lonely. I figured it would be so.
He never said it would be stress-free. I'd seen enough looks on mothers' faces to know it isn't.
He never said I wouldn't cry. I knew I would.
But He did say they're a blessing. And He was right.
<Edit>
Here is a picture for my sister far away. I apologize in advance for it not necessarily showing my haircut super-well. It was my first time taking a "MySpace" photo; I'm just glad I didn't cut part of my face off or anything!
I knew he was apologizing on behalf of the children, who had already managed to terrorize me to the point of insanity.
Why? For not taking me with you? I laughed as I responded.
He smiled as he left the porch. I shut the door with a sigh and leaned my head against it. I wonder why it sometimes helps to just close my eyes for a minute -- after all, I know exactly what is going on behind me since my children are none too quiet in their bickering and disobedience -- but it does. It helps more if I breathe a quick cry for help to the Lord, too.
He never said it would be easy. I didn't bother asking.
He never said it wouldn't be lonely. I figured it would be so.
He never said it would be stress-free. I'd seen enough looks on mothers' faces to know it isn't.
He never said I wouldn't cry. I knew I would.
But He did say they're a blessing. And He was right.
<Edit>
Here is a picture for my sister far away. I apologize in advance for it not necessarily showing my haircut super-well. It was my first time taking a "MySpace" photo; I'm just glad I didn't cut part of my face off or anything!
I'm always surprised by how many freckles I have. Guess I'm more "Sinclair" than I often think!</Edit>
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