There are over-arching seasons in life, and the one I currently find myself in is the one called motherhood. But within this over-arching season, more specific seasons can also be found. Yes, I am a mother. More specifically, I am a mother of toddlers/babies (I'm still not sure which category Bronwyn falls in; it seems to change depending on her mood and level of exhaustion). Even more specifically, I am a stay-at-home mother of toddlers/babies.
Now, I am reaching a new season within motherhood, once again. I am discovering that my oldest son is needing more. Simple behavior corrections are behind us and are needing to be replaced with real teaching. This week has brought a new realization of the battle we are in for his heart and his will and his respect.
And I am overwhelmed.
How do I teach this boy--who has foolishness bound up and sin abounding in his heart--to seek to please his father and I and, most importantly, the Lord?
Sure, I have some thoughts and some ideas. I can look at what others before me have done and imitate them. I can read books--and there are many good ones out there. But it all seems pretty obscure when it comes down to it, and I am terrified.
Yesterday I was a mess. I wasn't frustrated or angry with my son. I didn't feel hurt by him or undone by him. No... I felt afraid. The morning was spent in tears, and the afternoon was exhausted in cyclical thoughts that brought me no closer to resolution.
And then, as I laid in bed and, as usual, processed through the day, I knew what I needed to do right then.
I needed to pray.
The days ahead will need to include reading and seeking counsel. I will need to seek out opportunities like never before to teach big lessons through small events. I will need to be diligent to point to Jesus in my words, and I will need to feed the Word to my son. But right then, I needed to pray, and that's exactly what I need to continue to do before all else.
Because the truth is, I can't capture Gabriel's heart for the Lord apart from the work of His Holy Spirit. It is His job, ultimately. Oh yes!--I want to be a faithful vessel, and what He has asked of me as mom is an extremely intimidating thing, but in the end His load is easy and His burden is light.
As a mother of three boys (who are now men), the best advice I have is to stay on top of them. Never tire of correcting, for they will seem to never tire of testing the limits.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean this to discourage you--only to help you set your mind to patience and consistency. I can tell from your posts that you are a wonderful mother, full of love for your children. Together with God, that is the best combination!
God will take over where you leave off and will make up for your shortcomings, and you will be the proud mother of a young man who knows God for himself, and chooses to follow Him for the rest of his life.
Children are hard to figure out at any age, He'll be fine he has great parents, I've seen both of you with your children and its very refreshing to see the love you all have. Children love to test the waters so to speak. God will help you through this diffcult time, he knows what you and your little man needs, stay strong .
ReplyDeleteGood Luck
Love Enie
Ahh! I've thought about some of this...it's going to be rewarding to have children, but the process is so scary to me! Ultimately, that's a good point, we do our best, but it's the Lord whose hands their hearts lie in.
ReplyDeleteI miss you guys, hope to catch you on my next visit up! Tell Daniel I say hey!
The strong willed will be harder to turn away from Christ later.....remember that now! They don't veer from their beliefs. He is probably like Daniel was, active and strong willed, and look how Daniel turned out!!!! You guys are wonderful parents too, like his are. What I remembered raising Matthew was that God gave him to me specifically for a reason, he knew that I could deal with him. Remember he doesn't give us anything we can't handle? God knows with his help you and Daniel can deal with Gabriel properly. And you are right to pray rather than first do what everybody else tells you and books say. People many times give advice that won't work in your instance, you can listen to, but let God judge the advice before you do it.
ReplyDeleteIt may get worse as he gets closer to 4, but remember he's on loan to you and Daniel, he's really not only your child. That's what I remembered most with Matthew, I had so much more patience with other people's children, so I had to remember he was God's child first. I was only a steward.
Love you, hope it helps. My email is gjwdlw@yahoo.com . Greta from Pgh
The thing I remember the most from the Ted Tripp seminar was how he repeatedly would say this in dealing with his children: "Know the Lord". As you pointed out, we should always be pointing our children to the cross; to the Lord. It really is His work and our prayer cooperates with His work.
ReplyDeleteAs you said, there are so many good books out there, but I wanted to share the title of one that has most recently and most profoundly affected my home - "Keeping Our Children's Hearts: Our Vital Priority" by Steven & Teri Maxwell.(www.titus2.com)
ReplyDeleteWhile no book replaces or outweighs the Bible, this book has insights that were very timely for us. God continues to use the Bible-based principles on which they base their advice to turn my heart toward my kids.
That said, I remember when my son, now nearly 7, reached that place you are in with Gabriel. I know the pain - even terror - of the thought of losing them eternally! Seek, ask, believe. God will reveal the way to your children's hearts. I'm believing the same thing for my own.