The joys of teething

Out of my four children, Aubrey has handled teething the worst. The boys were typical teethers-- a good deal of fussing and drooling, and a bit less sleeping than usual. With Bronwyn, I often didn't realize she had been teething until I saw new teeth-- nice! Then there's Aubrey...

Aubrey runs a fever, usually gets a runny nose, sleeps pathetically, nurses at least every 1-1/2 to 2 hours around the clock, and cries almost non-stop when teething.

Guess which one of my four children is the only one to get both her bottom and top 1-year molars right around the same time?

Yeah... you guessed it.

*sigh*

I'm tired.

No more sugar

My first sugar-free week is going pretty well. There have only been 2-3 times when I've really wanted something sweet and they've all been in the afternoons (boy, was I desperate for a pick me up!). I've been surprised that the urge hasn't hit me in the evenings since I'd thought most of my sugar intake came after the kids are in bed, particularly on the nights I'm home alone (which is at least 3-4 out of 7). Apparently I had an afternoon habit that I didn't like to acknowledge.

Now, I should mention that I haven't cut out natural sugars, which is what really hardcore anti-candida dieters do. I tried that once last December and had such a bad blood sugar crash I actually thought I was having a heart attack. (Okay, so I sometimes over-react...) My sugar-free diet simply means I'm not eating any refined or processed sugars. This week I haven't happened to have any honey or maple syrup, but that hasn't been intentional. I'm also eating my regular amount of fruits each day.

I'm still really tired, so I guess cutting out sugar isn't the magical cure-all I was hoping for. But the thrush doesn't seem to be any worse and might even be mildly improving, so that's good.

I must say that I'm looking forward to Saturday, though! I have to make cookies tomorrow to send to the Rick Mackin House Raising this weekend and I'm already planning on making extra so there are some here for the family. Of course, I know I need to set limits for myself over the weekend or I will have completely missed the point of this whole thing!

Overall, I know this is really good for me (in more ways than one), and I'm glad I'm doing it.

Still my baby...

Well, Aubrey may be a whole year old, climbing stairs (she made it up 4 yesterday before I grabbed her and put a gate up) and getting her first year molars, but she's still very much my baby who wakes at least 3x each night to nurse! I must admit that 12 months later, I'm really starting to feel the effects of not sleeping uninterrupted for more than 3 hours (max.) at a time. It's just never been in me to make a little baby cry it out, though, and I have to say I'm finding there are many benefits to all this nighttime nursing.

[For some reason, in spite of how much more she nurses at 1 year than my others did, I've yet to lose these last 3-4lbs that will allow me to fit into all my winter clothes!]

Honestly, though, I don't mind how much of a baby she still is. This year has flown by and I don't feel ready to let her start exploring toddlerhood. Her first weeks of life gave me a perspective I hope I never forget: life is infinitely precious and worth any and every demand.

My little snugglebum. It's such a privilege to be the soother of her injuries and the nurturer of her body and soul. I love her so.

The stuff of [my] life::

:: I'm off sugar. For real.

Well... (you knew a well was coming, didn't you???) except for on the weekends.

I can't make a rule like Except For Special Occasions, because when you're part of a big family and a big church and have lots of wonderful friends and family members, there's a special occasion most every day of the week. Like tonight. Like yesterday. Like the day before that. And like the day before that. (I kid you not...) And the problem with just saying I'm off sugar with no exceptions is that I would fail. Probably tomorrow. But if I know I just need to hang on until Saturday for a chocolate chip cookie or a serving of apple crisp, I think I can make it.

Ask me how I'm doing on Wednesday afternoon when my body is absolutely craving a sugar rush and, please, tell me I can make it.

:: I've got thrush again. (You knew something besides good conscience spawned this no sugar thing, didn't you?) This is the second time since I stopped taking my probiotic faithfully. I ran out in July and I haven't felt like spending the $30 to get more. But I've been paying for it in a major way.

Seriously, anyone who gets thrush as much as I do needs to do her body a favor by reducing her refined sugar intake and just. spending. the. money.

:: Jackson has impetigo on his bum. Poor kid. I would never have known what it was except for the cloth diapering forum I'm part of. I saw a thread about staph infections and when I first realized that Jack's sore wasn't going away, I got curious. A few questions and one google search later, I was pretty sure he had it.

I spent the last week treating it with colloidal silver, but I brought him to the doctor today for something a little more potent. Fortunately, I do think the colloidal silver kept the infection from spreading because the doctor was fairly confident that a skin cream will do the trick and that an oral antibiotic *shudder* won't be necessary.

:: my friend got amazingly good, put-a-smile-on-my-face news today! I am so incredibly thrilled for her.

And I'm excited for all of us who have stood in prayer with her. I know for sure that I needed the reminder that God doesn't have to work on our (or our doctor's) timetable in order to give us the miracle we need.

:: Aubrey has learned  how to crawl up stairs. She's only gone so far as the first two before deciding to back down, but for those of you who are familiar with our house, you know that once a kid learns to scale our steps, s/he can handle any steps anywhere. (They're against-modern-day-code steep.) Last week she figured out how to get her first knee up the step, but then she gave up for a couple days. This morning while the 3 big kids were upstairs doing their morning chores, she resumed her anxiously awaiting position at the bottom of the stairs. I guess the desire to be up there with them totally overtook her, because the next thing we knew she was going up.

Aubrey's also gotten downright grouchy when she wants food and we don't share. Like the cake at Mom's house yesterday. My goodness did she know it was yummy and let us hear her displeasure about not being allowed to partake!

Little reminders that my baby is growing up every day.

:: I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm so thankful for Daniel. My sister sent me this photo today with the following note:

"ohmygosh.  best picture ever. you're so in love.  seven years and four children later and so in love.  awesomeness."

God has really blessed me with a man who loves me stubbornly.   Daniel doesn't give up on me or quit no matter what. I'm so thankful.

(But wait a minute, seven years? Ummm... where did the time go????)

Tears for the unborn

I am a mom. I have seen and held babies who are taking their first breaths. It is a miraculous thing that words can't ever begin to describe: such beauty overwhelms and overtakes me.

Oh, but my heart is breaking afresh for babies who never take those first breaths, whose lives are snuffed out-- destroyed-- before they get a chance to fulfill their destiny. I cringe at the thought of their pain as they are killed. I weep for the mothers who don't understand what they are doing, and I ache for the ones who have so bought into a lie that they know and just don't care. I cry for the believers in our nation who are more concerned about healthcare, the UN, working moms, energy resources, and their pocketbooks than they are about the murder of babies.

I'm not writing this to make anyone upset. These are the constant thoughts on my mind these past few days. I can't shake them. My heart is gripped.

I'm broken.

Catch-Up

From Aubrey's birthday party Saturday evening:


a few of the 22 friends & family who joined us to celebrate


Aubrey mostly liked playing in the mounds of tissue and wrapping paper


a whole year old!!!!


a little skeptical of this whole cupcake business


kind of squishy!


in the end, she seemed to enjoy it alright and,
though she didn't ever dive in like my others did on their first birthdays,
she definitely thought it was great fun to play with!

Daniel spent about 4 hours yesterday priming a good portion of the new family room. The projected estimate is that 3 full days should get the whole painting job finished:





Today, Bronwyn has a friend over as a reward for doing her chores for twenty days. Bronwyn thinks it's great fun that they (and their dolls) own matching dresses:

Lately

:: Friday night I pulled out all the fall decorations. I hadn't been planning on doing so until after Aubrey's birthday, but I had about an hour of spare time and the weather the day before had been so autumn-like that I just couldn't resist. It was almost comical that Saturday and Sunday were then so warm and muggy. My fall decorations were entirely out of place. Ah well. They feel very appropriate today.

:: Daniel's mom and dad were in town visiting, especially to celebrate Aubrey's birthday with us. It's always so nice to have them and we only ever wish they could stay for longer. I'm blessed to have in-laws that it's so easy to feel that way about.

:: Over plates heaped with pasta and brightly colored veggies and soft homemade bread, we celebrated Aubrey's birthday with a good number of friends and family. She seemed to enjoy the evening immensely, particularly the pretty pink candle in the pink frosted cupcake and all the tissue and wrapping paper that her gifts came in. Her actual birth wasn't the joyous occasion most births are, which made this first birthday celebration all the more sweet.

:: Our family room was packed last night with visitors who came to cheer on the Steelers with Daniel. I think he was especially glad to be able to watch a game this year with his dad. The occasion did, of course, call for kielbasa (ewwww).

:: I hardly slept a wink last night once the wind and rain picked up. It was quite the storm and I was amazed that we never lost power, seeing as how we've lost power multiple times this summer in much milder storms.

:: Today we waved good-bye to Grandma & Pap-Pap and then began our normal Monday routine. Daniel headed out and the kids I began school, which is so enjoyable for us all. When putting sounds of letters together today, Gabriel "got it," which was super exciting for both of us. It was cool to see him realize how reading works. Such fun!

:: Tomorrow is Daniel's day off. He will spend most of the day painting the exterior of the family room. Assuming all goes as planned in that regard, I will try to post pictures tomorrow evening of the initial priming, along with pictures from Aubrey's party. (I can't find the camera-computer cord right now...)

Happy birthday to our Miracle!

This year has been amazing. Aubrey has brought so much life and joy into our home. God has used her to teach me perspective, patience, and truth. We are growing in faith and hope because of her. What a gift she is!

Our little lady crawls all over, pulls herself up, has eight teeth, says "Hi" and waves, gives kisses, snuggles lots, nurses even more, is skeptical of the table foods she's been introduced to this month (besides homemade vanilla pudding and Daddy's cream cheese frosting, that is!), weighs almost sixteen and a half pounds, is twenty-eight inches tall, and has the prettiest wide-set blue eyes in the world. We love her to pieces.

Her first year, in pictures:

    

a few days old, in the NICU


1 month, at home!


2 months, our little peanut


3 months, her first Christmas


4 months, pretty in pink


5 months, her first visit to Aunt Beanz's salon


6 months, her first Easter


7 months, going to church


8 months, in New York City


9 months, beautiful blues


10 months, her first Independence Day


11 months, at the Bronx Zoo


1 year, thank You, Lord!!!!

God has been so good to Aubrey this year. We are excited about His great plans for her in the many years ahead!

Our report

Aubrey got another great report today! Her growth and development are great, and her oxygen saturation levels are 85%, which is only 2-3% less than 3 months ago. They did a routine ECG, as well as a standard (transthoracic) echocardiogram, which showed continued increased (and good!) pressure in her pulmonary artery.

Dr. Byrum told us that he would be bringing Aubrey up in the next conference between all the cardiologists and the pediatric cardiology surgeon. He anticipates that they will want to do either a transesophageal echocardiogram (TEE) or a cardiac catheterization sometime in the next few months-- probably before Christmas-- so they can gather the missing information they need about Aubrey's heart (particulary regarding one artery's position, which they are currently very unsure about). This, however, in no way means we are going to surgery.

As of right now, Dr. Byrum is happy to "drag his heels" about surgery so long as the risks of surgery outweigh the risks of waiting. Aubrey is active and developing well, so he doesn't see any need to rush unless one of the other cardiologists has thoughts otherwise.

I'm really praying and believing that there won't be surgery required at any point.

Thanks for praying with me!

<edit>
I forgot to mention last night that Dr. Byrum wants Aubrey to come off one of her daily medications (digoxin). I'm super excited to eliminate one, but also a little apprehensive since the last time we tried taking her off this particular medication she wound up in the pediatric intensive care unit. Please be praying that her body will handle this transition flawlessly.
</edit>

This journey of faith

Tomorrow we leave bright and early for Aubrey's one-year cardiology appointment. In March Dr. Byrum told us we would probably begin the process of surgery at one year (a process that would begin with a series of tests and at least one cardiac catheterization). Then, after reiterating that at her appointment June, he paused and, cocking his head a bit, said, "But maybe not, if she's still doing this well."

Tonight Gabriel prayed his bedtime prayer, concluding with the same words he utters every night: "I pray that Aubrey will get the miracle she needs and that she won't need surgery."

I echo these words often, but not with feelings of hopelessness or despair. God has brought Aubrey so far and this frail heart of mine is daily encouraged by the miracle of her. It's absolutely amazing how healthy and whole and vibrant she is.

Merrick asked me today why she looks okay if she isn't okay.

Because of God, Merrick.

Because of God.

Yes, I would be lying if I didn't say that my faith is at times very weak. But mostly, I'm excited. I know that God is faithful. I know that He is loving and kind and good. I know that His plans for Aubrey are to give her a future and a hope. I know that her life is and will be a testimony of encouragement and redemption and grace to many.

This journey isn't one I really wanted, but it is one that is revealing the glory and works of God all along the way. I am learning what it means to walk by faith and I'm discovering in a whole new way what great joy and peace there is when I rest in the power of Christ.

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.

If you think of us tomorrow, please join us in prayer for yet another miraculous report for our precious Aubrey Colette.

Lately I've been thinking...

So I turned 26 yesterday.

Thursday night we celebrated with my family. Mom made a really yummy dinner. Daniel baked a carrot cake from scratch (his first real cake attempt ever). Yum.

Yesterday a really nice lady in a brick house made me a blueberry/peach crisp. Double yum.

To be honest, after thinking all last week that I was turning 27, I ironically feel younger now.

It's weird to realize that last year at this time I was gearing up for a baby I guessed would arrive in early October. We had no clue that Aubrey was so sick. God has been faithful in a million ways to me this year, but the gift of Aubrey's life and health sure does stand out.

God is so amazing. Life has its ups and downs, but I am seeing a bit more with each passing day and year how much His grace and love overshadows all else.

Our first school days

We've finished our first week of school. It went really well and my kids are still rather psyched about the whole thing so I guess that means I must have made it pretty fun.

The biggest question in my mind going into the week was how "school" would fit into our day. Having four little ones under six years of age keeps me busy in and of itself. To say I was a little apprehensive about adding school to the mix would be an understatement.

I guess I needn't have been nervous because it all came together rather easily and seamlessly. I didn't even have a very concrete idea about how I was going to structure our days so Tuesday morning I decided to just plunge in after I had breakfast cleaned up and Aubrey nursed. It worked great.

We've started each morning around 8:30 or 9am. By this time, I've showered, dressed, and done my hair. The kids are dressed and fed, beds are made, diapers are out on the line, and Daniel is out the door. First we've done math, which takes all of 15 minutes or so (we are talking about a kindergarten and preschooler here). Then some phonics/reading, which takes about another 10-15 minutes. After that, I've done some basic social studies: reading from a textbook one day, having them making "family portraits" the next, walking around the town and pointing out different community buildings/business the day after that, etc.

Then, whenever Aubrey needs to nurse again, I've done our read-aloud time. The kids love this. Right after we finish a chapter from a book, I've done 3-5 minutes of science-related reading: a textbook excerpt or a short illustrated book that helps reinforce the lesson. (Can you tell science is a great love of mine??? )

And that's it for our "official" school time.

Gabriel and Bronwyn do most everything together: Bronwyn works in a $ store workbook or practices writing numbers while Gabriel does math, and they both do phonics and social studies together. Most days, Jackson has colored while they do their work, though one day he opted to play with Aubrey during that time. All the kids participate in read-aloud and science.

The cool thing with our morning school time is that I feel like I'm finally starting my day with my focus on the kids like I always want to but often fail to because I'm so caught up in my To Do lists. The kids seem to really benefit from the first-thing attention because when 10 or 11am rolls around and I'm sending them off to play for a while so I can do other work, they're much happier to be on their own.

My review on cloth diapering

A while ago I was asked to do a review on cloth diapering. It's taken me this long to do it for a couple reasons:

1. I've been kind of busy and/or preoccupied these past several weeks.
2. I've been hesitant to write a whole lot about it because I certainly don't ever want to make mamas who don't cloth diaper feel badly. We each have a certain amount of time and energy with which to work, and it's really up to us-- in obedience and submission to God-- how we spend those resources.
   

After some consideration, I figured I could scramble together some time to write about my 5+ months of cloth diapering along with throwing out this disclaimer:

Yes, I'm officially a cloth diapering mama.
But I don't do everything.
Please don't ever think I do! I can't bear that pressure!

OK, moving on to the actual review:

I finally made the switch to cloth diapering at the end of March. After researching and asking questions for over a year (I know... I'm so decisive ), I purchased fuzzi bunz from kelly's closet for Aubrey. There was a 30-day money back guarantee, so I figured if I couldn't stomach it and/or handle the time commitment, I could always return the diapers and only be out the S&H fees (which was less than one month's worth of disposables anyway). Long story short: at the end of 30 days, I wasn't a bit interested in returning them! In fact, I was ordering diapers for Jackson.

Making cloth diapering-- fuzzi bunz, specifically-- work for us has been a process. Learning how to wash diapers isn't as simple as I'd thought it would be, mostly because I have a high efficiency washer and hard water. There were a couple moments when I thought I would have to quit because I was having problems figuring things out, but perseverence and research paid off. One major plus is that I now know a bit more than I used to about water, ingredients in detergents, how washing processes work, natural ways to deal with bacteria, and more. Overall, this process of learning to cloth diaper has been rather empowering.

And, really, I'm thrilled I made the switch.

Like, totally and completely and I-only-wish-I'd started-cloth-diapering-years-ago thrilled.

Since I've not used other kinds of cloth diapers, I can't give the sort of review many other cloth diapering moms can. But I'll tell you some of the things I really like about cloth diapering and fuzzi bunz diapers:

1. Knowing there aren't nasty chemicals up against my little ones' bottoms. This was the major factor in switching to cloth as far as I was concerned. I figured if I could save money while I do it, great, but even if I only come out even, the important thing to me was health.
2. It feels good that I'm no longer throwing body waste into landfills (which you're not supposed to do with disposables either, to be honest) or contributing thousands of diapers that take hundreds of years to decompose. I also like that our garbage has been significantly reduced (and now I don't have to worry about the pail getting smelly like I used to, either!).
3. Washing and drying them. I know this sounds weird, but I really do enjoy it. I especially enjoy line-drying them. I love seeing them on the line, all lined up and waving in the breeze.
4. Pocket diapers, like fuzzi bunz, are literally no more complicated than changing a disposable, but they dry faster than AIOs, so I think they're awesome for newbies like me.
   
5. The snap feature on fuzzi bunz is great. I have read lots of things about velcro wearing out, not to mention how annoyed I get with velcro in the wash. There are 2 rows of snaps-- one for the waist and one around the legs-- and I have never had a problem finding the right fit for both Jackson and Aubrey, which tells you they fit quite a variety of body types.
6. How cute they are! Waaaayyyy cuter than disposables! In fact, I'm realizing I hardly need all the little diaper covers that go with dresses now that there isn't an ugly disposable to hide! Plus, pocket diapers are pretty trim as far as cloth diapers go, so they're not hard to fit pants and shorts over.
   
7. Cloth diapering isn't as gross as I thought it would be. In fact, Aubrey's diapers are literally no grosser to change than before, since breastfed babies' messes are 100% water soluble and wash out completely in the washing machine, plus she's never had a blow-out since switching to cloth (occasional leaks, yes, but never the up-the-back messes you'll have with disposables). Jack's messy diapers do usually require some toilet rinsing, but I have found ways to do the job without getting even my pinky finger wet, so it's not a big deal.
   
8. They are well worth the upfront cost, even when buying more expensive diapers like I did. I bought 18 diapers for Aubrey, 12 diapers for Jackson, 2 large wet tote laundry bags for dirty diapers at home, 2 small wet tote laundry bags for dirty diapers on the go, laundry detergent, 18 cloth wipes, wipes solution, and diaper deodorizor for less than $600. We were previously spending $60/month on diapers and wipes ($720/year), so we'll make up our costs in a year, even factoring in water usage.
   

I don't think I've left any major points out. If you've got more questions, I'm happy to answer as best as I can. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm enjoying learning more both through experience and research.

Buttoned Up

Our house project has officially been "buttoned up." What that means is that the exterior work is basically done: roof repaired (where there had been leaking), new walls built, windows and doors installed, and clapboard up. There will be a bit of a break in the progress now since the interior work won't begin in earnest until mid-October, leading up to an early November kitchen cupboard installation.

The goal is to have all the exterior painting done (walls yellow, trim white, and doors red like the rest of the house) and the shutters up by then. We're also planning on getting the electrical and heating run in the next 5-6 weeks. It sounds simple enough, right?

taken yesterday late afternoon


the completed exterior


yes, the windows (36" x 50" each) are huge
we now have a breathtaking view of the golf course

First day of school

We began our first official day of school today. (I write "official," but Gabriel isn't actually enrolled with our local school system yet since his birthday falls after the December 1st requirements.) The first day is always exciting for everyone, but I really do think Gabriel will enjoy school. He loves sitting at the table and doing workbooks, artwork, simple math equations, etc.

My phonics program this year isn't really a program. It's a $4 book Mom highly recommended to me that lays out a simple and straightforward plan for teaching your child to read. Since I've hardly used it I don't feel I can give a rave review, but I absolutely love the concept and am really glad I'm going with it.

The favorite part of the day was definitely drawing family portraits to go along with the Social Studies reading we did and our read-aloud time. We're starting with Little Pear. I hope to read Mr. Poppers Penguins and Five Little Peppers before Christmas, too.

Trajedy

I don't really know Tanya; she found MomAndUs awhile ago and we have become acquaintances through our blogs. She loves Jesus and loves her family.

Today I found out that she and her husband lost their 20-month-old son in a tragic accident. If you think of them today, please pray for them.

My heart is stricken.