Today Dad talked about ways God trains us to serve. He had three points--all good--but his first stood out the most to me: He trains us to serve by frustrating our attempts at self-fulfillment.

As he talked about this, I found myself considering motherhood and the many moments of frustration I've experienced over the last (almost) three years. It seems, at least in my recollection, that just about every time I've really hit that "last nerve"--every time I've wanted to give up, quit, throw the towel in, call myself "unable", etc.--I've found myself in that place because I've been looking to gain something from my children and my calling, rather than simply desiring to serve.

There is such fulfillment in being a mom. For example, the last week has been so rich for me. Having children is an amazing thing.

But it's work, too.

A lot of work. A lot of self-sacrifice. A lot of waking up during the night. A lot of cleaning seemingly unnecessary messes. A lot of dealing with disrespect. A lot of requirement to serve.

Too often I look at those times of challenge as my children being demanding or poorly behaving. I react to what I consider to be them making me give more than I ought to have to give or be or do. In reality, those times of challenge are Him training me to serve. They're Him frustrating my attempts to find fulfillment in having my children always well-behaved and looking pristine; in my ability to create perfection in them; in having things "just so". They're Him redirecting me to Himself. Those times of challenge are Him saying, "Ho! [Brietta, you] who thirsts, come to the waters; [though] you have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost."

I ought to be thankful when my fleshly attempts are frustrated and confounded.