I spent yesterday morning (1am to 8:30am) at the hospital; the prior five hours had been spent having contractions every 4-6 minutes at my house. As much as I dread labor, I clung to the idea that today it would all be over.
Wrong!
Here I am, in my living room, pregnant. My doctor is convinced I'll have this baby today or tomorrow. I know from experience that my body likes to defy logic, so I am making no such conclusions. But then again, maybe that's because there's a really, really, really big part of me that wants to put labor and delivery off all the more now. I guess I dislike pain more than I'd realized.
Now that I've done the hospital routine (which is one of the things I dislike most about labor) already, I'm not interested in repeating a trip to the hospital for another several months. I hate hospitals--no matter how nice the facility and helpful the staff--and don't like the idea of going back in the least. I also dread the physical challenges of labor and delivery and post-partum recovery. Yeah. Unfortunately, I don't have another several months to pull my emotions together enough to tackle this thing. As much as I'm okay with keeping this baby where he/she is, the reality is that I only have until January 25th at the very most.
At any rate, I'm finding the battle concerning what my meditations will be challenging. I'm focusing too much on the pain, the discomfort, the emotional difficulties, the time away from my other children, the exhaustion, etc. and too little time focusing on the reward: a new son or daughter to meet... to hold... to share life with. I need to change my meditations, and quick, because I'm a time-bomb waiting to go off!
This morning Daniel commented on how this is a situation we've been faced with recently. In purchasing our house, we'd thought we'd begun the process, only to have to start over again. There were times when the challenges of the whole thing seemed as though they couldn't possibly be worth whatever the end result might be. But they were, as we find every day we spend here in our new home, which we absolutely love.
So is this. Right now, the challenges seem overwhelming to me. I want to post-pone, delay, put off, whatever! the whole thing because I don't have right perspective. But the reality is that once I've walked through the challenges, I will find the reward completely worthwhile.
He promises to make all things beautiful. Even unpleasantries are beautiful when seen through His eyes--focused on the prize and not on the moment.
I'll be praying for you Brietta, I know that the world is going to benefit from the birth of the little child of God that is inside of you. May God pour out his blessings on your whole family.
ReplyDeleteI empathize completely with you right now (though I better not go into labor today!). I'm sure God will give you the strength you need to get through the "unpleasantness" of labor and truly appreciate the blessing you are receiving.
ReplyDeleteOh Brietta! I totally identify with your "plight." The whole hospital "routine" and everything: I can't even begin to tell you how much better overall it is to have a baby in the comfort of your own home. Not just labor and delivery, but recovery was ten-times better. And I really appreciated not having to leave my older children. I got to see them 20 seconds after the birth, and whenever I wanted thereafter. And when I couldn't see them, I could hear them in the next room. Even during labor it was one of the most comforting things. If there is a midwife within a 1hr radius, it's never to late to switch. (I've known women who switched up to 12 days after their due-date due to doctors "forcing" and induction). I don't know if you have medical insurance, but homebirth is definitely cheaper all around: $1,800-$2,400, includes post-partum care up to 6wks. I hope you're not irritated with me bringing it up... especially when you're feeling crazy as it is. I just wanted you to know that you don't have to feel trapped. A trapped feeling will only delay or prolong labor and delivery. It's that whole "fight or flight" response. Of course, the Lord can override and relieve every concern and issue! Ask Him.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pain, and dreading the whole thing, one thing that really helped me keep my focus, sanity, and not be fearful or worry, was to convince myself that I only had to endure ONE contraction. And it's kind of true. Technically, when you have a contraction, you're only dealing with that ONE at the moment. Not the last one, not the next one. Just the current one. If your labor stalled out and you're dreading its return, keep reminding yourself that you only have to endure the first one. And don't think about the next one, or pushing, or delivery, or postpartum until all these moments become the current moment. You can endure ONE contraction, right? I know you can!!!
Now, a start-and-stop labor sometimes indicates a posterior or poorly positioned baby. You can try the following positions to ensure baby is just right for the easiest exit through your pelvis. Get on your hands a knees for 20 minutes, three times a day. Avoid all lounging positions... any reclining encourages the baby to roll over to a posterior position. Keep your knees below your pelvis (opens up the pelvic inlet, allowing baby to engage) and sit up straight. Slouching or resting back curves your pelvis under and the baby's head doesn't have a nice nest to rest in. The more equal pressure you can get from the baby's head on your cervix, the more efficient (aka-faster) labor can be. Having baby's back against your belly button (back facing out, face against your tailbone and tucked in) makes for the narrowest angle of his/her head to glide through the pelvis.
Be encouraged. Remember, just three months ago I was lamenting the same thing... only I was much more crabby and cranky. I did just fine, and SO WILL YOU! I'm looking forward to a birth announcement from Daniel! He's going to post one on your Xanga, right? Love you!!!
that was the worst being in the hospital after giving birth! i hated that, mostly getting a new nurse after so many hours, i hated it! I didn't like the weekend nurses and I wanted out! Next time I don't wanna stay more than 24 hrs! I saw the new baby! Very cute! Congrats to you and Ryan! This is Andrea Josephs by the way, I am the girl who came to life group with my husband Keith and my baby and I sat next to you. But then I wasn't there for half of it...lol. So I hope labor went well then! God Bless and see ya next week at church maybe!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to the Paladin family and welcome to jackson Edward!!! Beautiful pictures!!! you are still beautiful...i look groggy and tired in all my post delivery pics. Hope all went well. I'd love to hear the story...how long and all that.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS!
ReplyDelete(I love the picture!)
May God bless you and your beautiful family (esp. the newest edition!)
-Nathan