Saturday, April 4, 2009
things are going to be okay
This morning I got up (too early; someone needs to tell Aubrey that even a mere 3 minutes before 6am is still before 6am and just. isn't. right.) and as I went about our morning routine, I realized I was feeling okay. I mean, I had that sensation of Quick, Get Some Food In Your Stomach Before You Start Throwing Up, but usually the morning hours are a combination of I'm Starving And About To Throw Up From Hunger and If I Put Anything In My Mouth (Even A Toothbrush), I Will Immediately Start Vomiting. Today was definitely an improvement. I'm trying not to count my chickens before they hatch by assuming we're past the worst, but I really have been on an upward swing of having more decent days than bad days and it's been five days since I last threw up. That must be something, right?
Anyway, as I thought with relief that we're really closing in on the end of the first trimester (which is my least favorite, by far), I remembered: I'm now 1 week beyond where I was in my last pregnancy when I had my second significant bleed and we discovered that I had a late (most appear earlier on in the first trimester and resolve by at least 20 weeks, whereas mine appeared at 11 weeks and when my placenta was delivered at Aubrey's birth, there was the clot, still present for all to see) and large subchorionic hematoma.
Whew. I am so glad to not be dealing with that again. I haven't lost any sleep thinking about a potential recurrence or anything (though the online group I was part of two years ago had a surprising number of repeat situations), but still. It's nice to know we're pretty much past any concern of that happening.
I know it doesn't mean everything, but I have to say that my soul breathed a deep, cleansing sigh at this realization. Things are going to be okay. I know I can't guarantee perfect (and I don't think I'll ever take a healthy baby-- anyone's healthy baby-- for granted again) and that there is no telling what the road before us looks like, but for today I'm just reminded that the past doesn't dictate my future.
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Next time I see Aubrey I'll mention the "waking up before 6 am" thing.
ReplyDeleteI've got your back on that one. lol
And- I'm encouraged to hear you're having a good morning!
I have been praying for you Brietta... so glad this pregnancy is going better!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you are having a great pregnancy and hopefully the morning sickness says away for a bit. Everything will be okay !!!! Praying for you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteAmen! So glad to hear things are going so well. I can sympathize with you as I remember throwing up in the college bathroom stalls at Cortland while getting my master's and thinking, all these girls in here right now must think I was out partying way too hard last night! Or the time Eric rushed me into the men's room at his old church (he had no idea where the woman's room was!) to have me hit my knees puking in the stall, only to look underneath the stall next to mine and see another gentlemen's dress shoes! I remember it being so not fun back then, but it's so fun to look back now and laugh at it! Plus, it's all worth it for such sweet sweet babies!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your posts! Glad you're feeling better today.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts. I have been thinking a lot about how I don't need to know what the future holds. I need to simply know that He is enough to carry me through today. There are moments when I think that even believing for my "today" is a far stretch, but it is such a comfort. I am growing- slowly!
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