Daniel is home for the day with no evening obligations. All the kids are outside with him while he rakes the front yard. I feel badly that I wasn't the one to get to it, but the reality is that just getting basic housecleaning done (you know... along with caring for the kids all day) wears me out. I finish running the vacuum and promptly feel that everyone is due for a nap after such a major endeavor. Unfortunately, my energetic children don't usually feel the same need for multiple rest times throughout the day!
Along with this exhaustion comes really pathetic mealtimes. I'm just sooo tired by this time of day that I can't bear the thought of making a mess of the kitchen. Not to mention that up until last week, most meal prep would make me throw up anyway. The throwing up seems to have passed, but the lack of desire to smell food cooking hasn't.
[One of the major problems with me not wanting/being able to cook is that we live in a really rural town. You can't even order delivery pizza here. So instead of all sorts of cool take-out meals multiple times a week that would have my children (and husband, let's be honest!) totally psyched, we are mostly living on PB&J and cereal.]
Anyway, the point of all this is to say that although I've been somewhat stuck in the mire of discouragement about how much I'm not getting done these days, the Holy Spirit has been helping me surface by showing me just a few of the specific things I have to be grateful for in this season:
1. I have a really low-maintenance husband who doesn't complain when he's tired of sandwiches for the hundredth time this week, but simply scrambles up some eggs for himself (and usually the kids, too). This is completely and totally awesome and I never, ever, ever want to take his graciousness for granted.
2. Gabriel has really stepped up to bat these past 2 months. He regularly gets breakfast on the table for himself and his siblings, minus pouring the milk on their cereal (and this only because I still insist on him calling me for-- I guess I'm paranoid about a gallon landing on the floor). He does tons of pick up and tidying for me. On the days Aubrey refuses to nap, he often entertains her and watches her so I can still catch 15-20 minutes of sleep. He empties the dishwasher, sweeps the kitchen floor, puts away laundry, assists Jackson with his morning and bedtime chores, and dusts the house. He's made himself so invaluable that I'm trying to remember how I did pregnancy in the past without all his ever-increasing help. I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I am thanking him for the things he does that I didn't even ask him to do.
3. I am being forced to learn how to prioritize and simplify. I'm often asking God to help me with this, but then I usually just take over my day and decide what I think is most important anyway. These days, often between tears, I have to admit that re-organizing the kids' closets, starting seedlings, doing cool school projects, and even cleaning the house just isn't the most deserving of my time and energy. I like tasks and projects-- I can see the results of those things-- but the truth is that spending time with my children, being available to teach and correct and love on them, is what the majority of my days ought to really be about anyway.
2. Gabriel has really stepped up to bat these past 2 months. He regularly gets breakfast on the table for himself and his siblings, minus pouring the milk on their cereal (and this only because I still insist on him calling me for-- I guess I'm paranoid about a gallon landing on the floor). He does tons of pick up and tidying for me. On the days Aubrey refuses to nap, he often entertains her and watches her so I can still catch 15-20 minutes of sleep. He empties the dishwasher, sweeps the kitchen floor, puts away laundry, assists Jackson with his morning and bedtime chores, and dusts the house. He's made himself so invaluable that I'm trying to remember how I did pregnancy in the past without all his ever-increasing help. I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I am thanking him for the things he does that I didn't even ask him to do.
3. I am being forced to learn how to prioritize and simplify. I'm often asking God to help me with this, but then I usually just take over my day and decide what I think is most important anyway. These days, often between tears, I have to admit that re-organizing the kids' closets, starting seedlings, doing cool school projects, and even cleaning the house just isn't the most deserving of my time and energy. I like tasks and projects-- I can see the results of those things-- but the truth is that spending time with my children, being available to teach and correct and love on them, is what the majority of my days ought to really be about anyway.
And all I can say is, "Thanks, God, for lifting my eyes." I can't get over how undone I get by what are really small things. Or how good He is to have compassion on me. It's true: He knows my frame and He loves me anyway.
Great thoughts! Don't feel bad about the meals... We had eggs tonight and a lot of nights we've just had cereal too! Like Daniel, Gabe could care less and is always grateful for whatever I can come up with or lack thereof, and is able to take over, I know first hand how much of a blessing this indeed is in times like these when I'm SO tired!
ReplyDeleteI always love getting on here and get excited to read your blogs !!! I get so much truth out of everything that your heart writes. And enlightens my mind and sooths my heart in many ways, something hard to describe I suppose. I'm grateful that you write so often, thanks. !! Many times around here with my two little ones eggs, or sandwhiches, and often just mac and cheese (my son would eat for every meal if I allowed it) is a quick dinner !! It's great that you have a little helper, we're in the process of giving my 5 year old a handful of chores to learn responsibility. I hope you and your family have a happy and blessed easter !! God bless.
ReplyDeletegood lessons that we learn again. and again. and again. (kinda wish it wasn't SO often don't you? :) )the "simplify" part is the hardest. "don't worry about the house" sounds like i'm getting an awesome vacation from chores -- until i realize how HARD it is to live with dust bunnies and gross kitchen floors. HARD! silly how hard it is for me!!i love you tons. wish i could send you the big pot of sauce i made today.
ReplyDelete#3 I'm still working on. Gabriel is a real sweetie and you guys do a wonderful job training your children. Spaghetti and grilled cheese are pretty easy....you might not like the smell of the grilled cheese though...My dad likes meat potatoes and vegetables, so I got back in that rut, but potatoes do have lots of potasium and he especially needs that...and it makes him happy and isn't that hard. And I'm surprised how easy he really is to make meals for, he eats just about anything. I get the boxed Aldi's lasagna sometimes, it's good for frozen and not very expensive. I don't know if you have an Aldi's nearby or not...I have to teach Matthew more meals...he can make pizza from scratch, and mac and cheese, and anything frozen...but I guess I didn't teach him much else. Alan is good at cookies....I'm glad you still take the time to post.
ReplyDelete@Newshoundfortruth - I think most all of us are always working on #3, if we're honest!
ReplyDelete@danicasinclair - Daniel breaded a package of chicken drumsticks and baked them so there was a nice dinner on the table even though I was feeling rather... poorly... due to not eating lunch (I had skipped eating in order to get more time napping, but that turned out to be a bad decision). He's getting more and more adventurous these past few days with food prep, and not doing too badly!But if you were close by, I still would have taken you up on the pot of sauce, provided you guys ate here, too.
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