Another Day

This morning, I made a simple chore chart for Gabriel & Bronwyn. Aubrey's arrival and the ensuing busyness is requiring that my children start doing more on their own. I'm glad because I think that my perfectionism would not relinquish control of things like how the bed is made without my hand being forced. It's good for my kids to be a bit more independent and it's good for me to just focus on the things that I really do need to do.

So the charts have begun. (Brings you back, huh D & Beanz?) I'm no artist, but at least my 3- and 4-year-old know what the drawings mean!

After that, Gabriel and I relocated his drum set to a little nook in the upstairs hallway. This spot used to contain shelves with bed linens, but since I got rid of the ridiculously large assortment of random bedsheets I owned and never used, I decided it would make a nice home for his kit. Now we just have to get some cool art work on the walls or something!

This afternoon, while Bronwyn slept and Jackson was off for a hair cut followed by an on-campus cell meeting with Daniel, I made pizza for this evening's meal and macaroni & cheese for one of the nights Daniel is gone this weekend. It was a tricky affair, since Aubrey was fussy much of the time, so Gabriel was employed in the entertainment department. I'm not sure if Aubrey was more entertained or scared, to be honest, but at least I got the food made.

Now that the giant fake spiderwebs have been removed from our neighbor's lawn and I am in the kitchen doing some cooking and baking again, it feels like the holidays can arrive. I'm enjoying the fact that Gabriel is really old enough to grasp a bit about our American heritage this fall as we approach this Thanksgiving.

And, yes, I did write that Jackson went in for a hair cut today. It has been long overdue (since before Aubrey was born!) and he looks much, much improved. You can see in this picture taken two days ago how much of a mullet the poor kid has been sporting (sorry I don't have an "after" picture yet):

I also talked with the doctor today, who was very pleased with Aubrey's weight on Tuesday! In addition, Aubrey's bloodwork results came back indicating slightly higher levels of Digoxin than are necessary, so her dosage has been lowered from .5ml/day to .4ml/day. And since one of the negative side effects of this medicine is appetite suppression, this could mean we won't have to be force-feeding quite so much.

Another thing I think may be contributing to Aubrey's frequent disinterest in eating are some gas issues. Last night she cried (screamed
may be a more appropriate word!) for 40 minutes straight, her back
arched and her legs stiff as boards, while I paced the
house with her. This has become more and more of a pattern with her and I've been realizing over the past week that her fussiness is much more than just normal baby stuff. I've been cutting back on dairy products since dairy is the most common cause of such problems, but as of today I've cut it out entirely. I've also switched from using pretty standard run-of-the-mill bottles to these bottles for the "topping off" that still takes place most feedings. Hopefully all this will increase Aubrey's comfortability within the next week or two, though I know that if dairy is indeed the culprit, it can take more like three weeks to rid my body of it entirely.

I find I'm rambling on here more often than not since Aubrey was born. I'm not sure if this is really as much because I'm updating readers about Aubrey-- though I try to convince myself it is-- as it's because I'm too tired to think many coherent thoughts beyond my very immediate situation. To be honest, it's been seven weeks of not being quite sure how to process.

When I was laying in my bed in the middle of the night after Aubrey's birth, I was frustrated because the drugs I'd been given kept making me lose my train of thought. I felt so frightened by the fact that my newborn daughter was miles and miles away from me in very critical condition but I couldn't even pray the way I wanted to. In the midst of that fear, the Lord gently brought to mind the faces of those who I had seen in the waiting room as I was wheeled in and out of surgery, praying and interceding for Aubrey and me; He reminded me that it is in my weakness that His strength is made perfect.

I've recalled that moment often throughout the past several weeks as I fall short and am very, very weak. The house has been pulled together only when others pull it together for me, the children's hair is often disheveled, there have been no apple pies or pumpkin breads issuing from my oven, I cry a lot and I'm afraid even more.

And still He says that His strength is made perfect.

Here. Now. In this muddled, rambling mess.

He made up my lack on the Cross. He makes up my lack everyday. I'm so, so glad to be His.