This journey of faith

Tomorrow we leave bright and early for Aubrey's one-year cardiology appointment. In March Dr. Byrum told us we would probably begin the process of surgery at one year (a process that would begin with a series of tests and at least one cardiac catheterization). Then, after reiterating that at her appointment June, he paused and, cocking his head a bit, said, "But maybe not, if she's still doing this well."

Tonight Gabriel prayed his bedtime prayer, concluding with the same words he utters every night: "I pray that Aubrey will get the miracle she needs and that she won't need surgery."

I echo these words often, but not with feelings of hopelessness or despair. God has brought Aubrey so far and this frail heart of mine is daily encouraged by the miracle of her. It's absolutely amazing how healthy and whole and vibrant she is.

Merrick asked me today why she looks okay if she isn't okay.

Because of God, Merrick.

Because of God.

Yes, I would be lying if I didn't say that my faith is at times very weak. But mostly, I'm excited. I know that God is faithful. I know that He is loving and kind and good. I know that His plans for Aubrey are to give her a future and a hope. I know that her life is and will be a testimony of encouragement and redemption and grace to many.

This journey isn't one I really wanted, but it is one that is revealing the glory and works of God all along the way. I am learning what it means to walk by faith and I'm discovering in a whole new way what great joy and peace there is when I rest in the power of Christ.

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.

If you think of us tomorrow, please join us in prayer for yet another miraculous report for our precious Aubrey Colette.

Lately I've been thinking...

So I turned 26 yesterday.

Thursday night we celebrated with my family. Mom made a really yummy dinner. Daniel baked a carrot cake from scratch (his first real cake attempt ever). Yum.

Yesterday a really nice lady in a brick house made me a blueberry/peach crisp. Double yum.

To be honest, after thinking all last week that I was turning 27, I ironically feel younger now.

It's weird to realize that last year at this time I was gearing up for a baby I guessed would arrive in early October. We had no clue that Aubrey was so sick. God has been faithful in a million ways to me this year, but the gift of Aubrey's life and health sure does stand out.

God is so amazing. Life has its ups and downs, but I am seeing a bit more with each passing day and year how much His grace and love overshadows all else.

Our first school days

We've finished our first week of school. It went really well and my kids are still rather psyched about the whole thing so I guess that means I must have made it pretty fun.

The biggest question in my mind going into the week was how "school" would fit into our day. Having four little ones under six years of age keeps me busy in and of itself. To say I was a little apprehensive about adding school to the mix would be an understatement.

I guess I needn't have been nervous because it all came together rather easily and seamlessly. I didn't even have a very concrete idea about how I was going to structure our days so Tuesday morning I decided to just plunge in after I had breakfast cleaned up and Aubrey nursed. It worked great.

We've started each morning around 8:30 or 9am. By this time, I've showered, dressed, and done my hair. The kids are dressed and fed, beds are made, diapers are out on the line, and Daniel is out the door. First we've done math, which takes all of 15 minutes or so (we are talking about a kindergarten and preschooler here). Then some phonics/reading, which takes about another 10-15 minutes. After that, I've done some basic social studies: reading from a textbook one day, having them making "family portraits" the next, walking around the town and pointing out different community buildings/business the day after that, etc.

Then, whenever Aubrey needs to nurse again, I've done our read-aloud time. The kids love this. Right after we finish a chapter from a book, I've done 3-5 minutes of science-related reading: a textbook excerpt or a short illustrated book that helps reinforce the lesson. (Can you tell science is a great love of mine??? )

And that's it for our "official" school time.

Gabriel and Bronwyn do most everything together: Bronwyn works in a $ store workbook or practices writing numbers while Gabriel does math, and they both do phonics and social studies together. Most days, Jackson has colored while they do their work, though one day he opted to play with Aubrey during that time. All the kids participate in read-aloud and science.

The cool thing with our morning school time is that I feel like I'm finally starting my day with my focus on the kids like I always want to but often fail to because I'm so caught up in my To Do lists. The kids seem to really benefit from the first-thing attention because when 10 or 11am rolls around and I'm sending them off to play for a while so I can do other work, they're much happier to be on their own.

My review on cloth diapering

A while ago I was asked to do a review on cloth diapering. It's taken me this long to do it for a couple reasons:

1. I've been kind of busy and/or preoccupied these past several weeks.
2. I've been hesitant to write a whole lot about it because I certainly don't ever want to make mamas who don't cloth diaper feel badly. We each have a certain amount of time and energy with which to work, and it's really up to us-- in obedience and submission to God-- how we spend those resources.
   

After some consideration, I figured I could scramble together some time to write about my 5+ months of cloth diapering along with throwing out this disclaimer:

Yes, I'm officially a cloth diapering mama.
But I don't do everything.
Please don't ever think I do! I can't bear that pressure!

OK, moving on to the actual review:

I finally made the switch to cloth diapering at the end of March. After researching and asking questions for over a year (I know... I'm so decisive ), I purchased fuzzi bunz from kelly's closet for Aubrey. There was a 30-day money back guarantee, so I figured if I couldn't stomach it and/or handle the time commitment, I could always return the diapers and only be out the S&H fees (which was less than one month's worth of disposables anyway). Long story short: at the end of 30 days, I wasn't a bit interested in returning them! In fact, I was ordering diapers for Jackson.

Making cloth diapering-- fuzzi bunz, specifically-- work for us has been a process. Learning how to wash diapers isn't as simple as I'd thought it would be, mostly because I have a high efficiency washer and hard water. There were a couple moments when I thought I would have to quit because I was having problems figuring things out, but perseverence and research paid off. One major plus is that I now know a bit more than I used to about water, ingredients in detergents, how washing processes work, natural ways to deal with bacteria, and more. Overall, this process of learning to cloth diaper has been rather empowering.

And, really, I'm thrilled I made the switch.

Like, totally and completely and I-only-wish-I'd started-cloth-diapering-years-ago thrilled.

Since I've not used other kinds of cloth diapers, I can't give the sort of review many other cloth diapering moms can. But I'll tell you some of the things I really like about cloth diapering and fuzzi bunz diapers:

1. Knowing there aren't nasty chemicals up against my little ones' bottoms. This was the major factor in switching to cloth as far as I was concerned. I figured if I could save money while I do it, great, but even if I only come out even, the important thing to me was health.
2. It feels good that I'm no longer throwing body waste into landfills (which you're not supposed to do with disposables either, to be honest) or contributing thousands of diapers that take hundreds of years to decompose. I also like that our garbage has been significantly reduced (and now I don't have to worry about the pail getting smelly like I used to, either!).
3. Washing and drying them. I know this sounds weird, but I really do enjoy it. I especially enjoy line-drying them. I love seeing them on the line, all lined up and waving in the breeze.
4. Pocket diapers, like fuzzi bunz, are literally no more complicated than changing a disposable, but they dry faster than AIOs, so I think they're awesome for newbies like me.
   
5. The snap feature on fuzzi bunz is great. I have read lots of things about velcro wearing out, not to mention how annoyed I get with velcro in the wash. There are 2 rows of snaps-- one for the waist and one around the legs-- and I have never had a problem finding the right fit for both Jackson and Aubrey, which tells you they fit quite a variety of body types.
6. How cute they are! Waaaayyyy cuter than disposables! In fact, I'm realizing I hardly need all the little diaper covers that go with dresses now that there isn't an ugly disposable to hide! Plus, pocket diapers are pretty trim as far as cloth diapers go, so they're not hard to fit pants and shorts over.
   
7. Cloth diapering isn't as gross as I thought it would be. In fact, Aubrey's diapers are literally no grosser to change than before, since breastfed babies' messes are 100% water soluble and wash out completely in the washing machine, plus she's never had a blow-out since switching to cloth (occasional leaks, yes, but never the up-the-back messes you'll have with disposables). Jack's messy diapers do usually require some toilet rinsing, but I have found ways to do the job without getting even my pinky finger wet, so it's not a big deal.
   
8. They are well worth the upfront cost, even when buying more expensive diapers like I did. I bought 18 diapers for Aubrey, 12 diapers for Jackson, 2 large wet tote laundry bags for dirty diapers at home, 2 small wet tote laundry bags for dirty diapers on the go, laundry detergent, 18 cloth wipes, wipes solution, and diaper deodorizor for less than $600. We were previously spending $60/month on diapers and wipes ($720/year), so we'll make up our costs in a year, even factoring in water usage.
   

I don't think I've left any major points out. If you've got more questions, I'm happy to answer as best as I can. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm enjoying learning more both through experience and research.

Buttoned Up

Our house project has officially been "buttoned up." What that means is that the exterior work is basically done: roof repaired (where there had been leaking), new walls built, windows and doors installed, and clapboard up. There will be a bit of a break in the progress now since the interior work won't begin in earnest until mid-October, leading up to an early November kitchen cupboard installation.

The goal is to have all the exterior painting done (walls yellow, trim white, and doors red like the rest of the house) and the shutters up by then. We're also planning on getting the electrical and heating run in the next 5-6 weeks. It sounds simple enough, right?

taken yesterday late afternoon


the completed exterior


yes, the windows (36" x 50" each) are huge
we now have a breathtaking view of the golf course

First day of school

We began our first official day of school today. (I write "official," but Gabriel isn't actually enrolled with our local school system yet since his birthday falls after the December 1st requirements.) The first day is always exciting for everyone, but I really do think Gabriel will enjoy school. He loves sitting at the table and doing workbooks, artwork, simple math equations, etc.

My phonics program this year isn't really a program. It's a $4 book Mom highly recommended to me that lays out a simple and straightforward plan for teaching your child to read. Since I've hardly used it I don't feel I can give a rave review, but I absolutely love the concept and am really glad I'm going with it.

The favorite part of the day was definitely drawing family portraits to go along with the Social Studies reading we did and our read-aloud time. We're starting with Little Pear. I hope to read Mr. Poppers Penguins and Five Little Peppers before Christmas, too.

Trajedy

I don't really know Tanya; she found MomAndUs awhile ago and we have become acquaintances through our blogs. She loves Jesus and loves her family.

Today I found out that she and her husband lost their 20-month-old son in a tragic accident. If you think of them today, please pray for them.

My heart is stricken.