My big kids

Bronwyn Eliese, aka Helper Girl




Gabriel Sinclair, aka Warrior In Training




Jackson Edward, aka Silly Boy

My little girls

Aubrey Colette, aka 'Tude Girl

Claire Evangeline, aka Princess Baby

It is well

When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

...Oh Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Louissa says it well.

Be praying for my sister and her husband; for the precious baby they had the privilege of caring for these past 3 months; for the young mother who is holding her now; for the glory of God to be revealed.

I am...

... SPOILED! Sometimes I look around at all the wonderful things I have and I wonder how much more blessed a girl can get-- and then God goes and pours out more on me!

So here are some pictures of the latest spoils around here:

The Diaper Bag, handmade for me by my engineer/seamstress sister Danica. I love the orange lining that contrasts the charcoal and white stripes! It's so all-purpose, all-season, while still being a bag I like carrying around, which is exactly what I'd really hoped for.

I requested a long enough strap to wear it over one shoulder and across my body, since that is a necessity for when I'm out and about and trying to carry and infant car seat along with managing 4 hooligans children. I love the angled pockets across the front: the deepest is tall enough for my 27oz klean kanteen while the shallowest is small enough that I can drop my keys in it and not have to fish around forever to find them again. The middle one is currently holding hand lotion, blistex, and chewing gum.

This is just a picture of the backside, which also has 2 angled pockets. You can see a burp cloth poking out of the one on the left.




Pockets, pockets, pockets!
She lined the inside with 2 good-sized pockets on either side. Then she divided the whole thing with a zippered section. Just so you know how much is in there right now, I have a change of clothes for Claire and 3 of her diapers + 1 of her covers on one side and then 2 diapers for Aubrey on the other, plus the zippered wet bag in the middle, my girlie products in 1 side pocket, my wallet and misc. monies, cards, etc. in another, and then wipes in another (and 1 is empty).





Claire was recently given another handmade gift: a special blanket and burp cloth made by a great friend from Pittsburgh, Sarah (you can visit her etsy shop here to see more blankets and burp cloths she's made and is selling). It's flannel with satin lining and is so very soft and cuddly. Her "special" blanket (each of the kids has one of their very own). We love it!





These are the dessert plates I was given by the church family Friday night at Daniel's ordination. I have 12 altogether and I love them. I'm already trying to figure out what luncheon or small occasion I can plan in the near future so as to use them with a bunch of friends who will oogle over them as much as I have.





And lastly, though not new to Claire (it was actually a gift from Mom to me when I was expecting Gabriel), I just had to show a picture of perhaps my all-time favorite handmade gift: this baby bassinet that a basket-weaver at Plymouth Plantation was commissioned by Mom to make just for me. All my babies have used it and I absolutely adore it.

(Oh, and if you're wondering why it's on top of my bed, it's because it slows Aubrey down enough that I can usually catch her before she's climbed into the bassinet with Claire.)

Rambling Weekend Recap

On Friday night, Daniel was ordained and set in as a pastor here at our local church. To say it was a special and significant evening would be a huge understatement. At this point I feel rather at a loss for words to summarize the night, but I will say that it is an amazing thing to witness what God does through and with human vessels. Daniel is a gift from the Lord to the Body and he is the real deal, all the time.

Daniel's parents, his brother and sister-in-law and 2 nephews, his uncle (who was our pastor in Pittsburgh) and aunt, and two couples that are very dear friends of ours (along with some of their children) all came up for the weekend from Pittsburgh to celebrate with us. There were some college alumni who also drove in, as well as a pastor and some of his family from the Rochester area. On Saturday we had an open house of sorts so that we could have a better chance of visiting with everyone, and that was a lot of fun. It led into an evening of game-playing and pizza-making (thanks, Daniel and Matt!) at our house and I've gotta say, if you've never played a game with Tim Ross, you've missed out on a really good time. The guy's hilarious.

Both Daniel and I were so blessed by the incredibly generous gifts we received Friday evening. I knew (Daniel didn't!) beforehand about the significant gift of money for a new guitar that our church family collected and the amazing Steelers tickets good friends of ours arranged and coordinated to give Daniel, but I didn't know about the beautiful dishes and flowers, that's for sure. This weekend was better than Christmas! Wow.

Today we said good-bye to the last of our out-of-town guests, and my mother-in-law was one of the departing visitors. We are going to miss her a lot this week. It dawned on me today that I'm actually going to have to start doing the dishes again! It was a great ten days with her and I am so grateful for all her help and companionship as I adjust to being a mother of five.

Speaking of being a mother of five, Claire is three whole weeks old today. These newborn days are slipping like sand between my fingers. I know everyone says it goes faster every time, but that's because it's true! I am completely undone by it and, yes, rather sad. The other day I found myself holding her close and just wishing I could somehow bottle the feel, the smell, the newness up to be enjoyed in later years. Just stay little, my girl... please?

And, for the record, Claire is still being a dream baby in the sleep department. She rarely wakes up more than once during the night and has even occasionally slept right through until morning. I'm still pinching myself because, trust me, this is nothing I'm doing and 100% that she is an absolute peach. There are some fussier times during the days and lots of cluster-feedings in the evenings, but I honestly am glad for that because otherwise she would probably be so easy that I wouldn't have the excuse to sit and snuggle her as much as I'd like!

Well, that's that for my rambling weekend recap. Daniel is at a meeting this evening and his computer is here, so I thought I would take advantage and do some catch-up. Hopefully I will get some pictures posted soon. I am especially thinking of new photos of Claire, as well as a few snapshots of my amazing new diaper bag and the dishes I was given on Friday evening.

::

:: My computer met with power jack trouble when I knocked it off my bed (accidentally-- I wasn't angry or anything, I promise!) and it fell on the plugged in power cord. It didn't seem to suffer any other damage-- which is probably a miracle for which I should be eternally grateful-- and I was able to use it sparingly... until I ran out of battery power. Now I'm waiting for a new power jack and our favorite Bubsie to see what magic he can work to repair the computer. In the meantime, I grab quick updates on facebook and write the "urgent" emails here and there on someone else's computer, but I don't usually have time to fit in much more than that.

:: My mother-in-law is here for the week and we are all enjoying her presence! The kids are in heaven, to say the least, and I'm quite the beneficiary in the arrangement, too. There are lots of books being read aloud, sword fights are taking place in the yard, good food is being cooked in large quantities, and my chores are being done but not by me!

:: We are excitedly beginning preparations for Daniel's ordination next week. There are a number of visitors from out of town making the trip north, which is just incredibly special. We're so looking forward to seeing family and friends and celebrating this time with them and our dear church family!

:: We finished another week of our regular school curriculum this week, and have now shelved those books until the new year. From here on in, I've put together a mini-curriculum of our own so that we can better study/appreciate the Pilgrims, Squanto, the first Thanksgiving, Christmas celebrations around the world (I've got 12 countries lined up, which I'm very excited about!), etc. I know homeschooling isn't the best choice for everyone, but I have to say that I love it, and I can't imagine doing anything else! I feel so blessed to be able to homeschool and to have little students as great as Gabriel and Bronwyn.

:: My new diaper bag, handmade by my talented sister, arrived in the mail this week and is amazing. I really need to take pictures to show everyone, and I promise I will. Maybe tomorrow when it's all packed and loaded up for church-- then you'll all get to see just how much it really holds. It's incredible!

:: In conclusion, I just have to say that this post partum has been so peaceful, and I feel so blessed. I know it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God and my family and the many great friends who have brought food over or stopped in to visit and celebrate Claire with us. Claire has been sleeping incredibly well (she usually sleeps 6-7 hours, wakes up once during the night, and then sleeps another 4-5 before waking for the day), and that certainly makes a huge difference, too. I have no idea how long this great sleeping will last, so I'm trying to just enjoy and appreciate each night that is so restful.

Claire Evangeline

Baby pool results

Check out the baby pool results:

The winner is Sarah!

The birth story, part 2

Continued from part 1.
--------------------------

It was about 12:30am when we got to the operating room.

The OR was terrible-- it was everything I wouldn't consider ideal for a birth. Instead of dim lighting and candles, there were bright fluorescent spotlights dizzying me. Instead of warmth, it was freezing cold to the point that I had to focus hard even in-between contractions on staying relaxed (the L&D nurse who came with us tried her best to compensate with warm blankets, bless her heart). Instead of soothing sounds, there was the clanking of metal instruments and the chaotic bustle of the OR staff (no offense to them, but they make terrible L&D staff). Instead of comfortable seating, there was the narrow and hard operating table that I ended up having to remain on the whole time because every time I moved around, we lost the baby's heart rate (I had portable monitors, but even just laying on my side made it impossible to trace the baby).

I could tell Daniel was nervous, though he was trying his best to mask his concern. We both knew how much environment has played a part in either encouraging or stalling my labors in the past. This environment seemed to indicate doom.

But I wasn't concerned, somehow. I have never before in my life so tangibly felt the Holy Spirit coming alongside me to help me. It was awful in that room, but it was a beautiful thing just the same. I knew I couldn't rely on my doctor (I like the guy, but he's a paranoid doctor when it comes down to it), I knew I couldn't rely on the environment, I knew I couldn't rely on any sort of physical comforts; but I knew I could rely on the Lord. His peace is beyond comprehension-- and that meant that right then and right there I could experience peace that simply didn't make sense. This was a time for me to work with my body and trust Him for the rest. It was surreal and amazing, honestly.

The contractions kept increasing in strength and frequency. We found the best way to keep a strip going on the baby while keeping me off my back (which made the contractions super painful) was to have Daniel sit on the OR table behind me so I could lean against him in a fairly upright position. I tried my best to think of the contractions as waves that were washing from my head down to move the baby down, and that helped me never once "fall behind" a contraction.

At around 1:45am (before the clocks changed!), I suddenly felt a gush of fluid with a contraction. The doctor was right near me at that moment and I asked him (somewhat accusingly, I admit!), "Did you break my water?" He looked at me surprised and held up his hands, "No, Mrs. Paladin, I certainly did not!"

For the first time ever, my membranes ruptured spontaneously.

He checked me and I was 7cm and the baby was +2. I think we all knew that with the sac ruptured and the baby that low, things would pick up even more quickly.

I started feeling sick to my stomach. I had to be completely silent during contractions so that I could shut everything out except working with my body. There was a lot more pressure from the baby's head with each contraction. At one point I wasn't sure I could keep going, but then the nurse commented to the doctor that she had never seen someone be so quiet and peaceful during transition in all her 14 years of nursing, and that gave me the boost of confidence I needed that I was doing okay and that I could finish this thing.

At around 2:05am (old time-- it was now technically 1:05am), I heard the nurse quickly telling the doctor that she could sense me bearing down a bit with the contractions. Surprised, I realized for myself that she was right. I've never before had an urge to push during labor-- I've always had to have a midwife/doctor tell me to try bearing down with the next contraction before that pushing instinct would take over-- but here I was pushing without even realizing it. The doctor checked me and in 20 minutes I had gone from 7cm to pretty much fully dilated and the baby was +2. He didn't want me pushing quite yet because there was a slight lip on my cervix and he wanted me to let a couple contractions move the lip aside, though he did say once that was done, the baby was so low it wouldn't take long to deliver.

I laid on my side at that point, not caring about the strip on the baby and basically telling everyone in the room as much. I couldn't think of any other way to keep from pushing too soon.

I lasted 2 contractions like that without pushing, but then on the 3rd, I couldn't stop myself from pushing. The nurse told me to go with it (she was amazing, by the way, in the way she ran interference between the doctor's preferences and what I needed) and that she and Daniel would help me move back to a more upright position for pushing so that they could trace the baby during this critical time.

2 contractions worth of pushing later, the baby was completely delivered at 2:19am (old time) and there was a huge collective sigh of relief throughout the room. I sank back against Daniel and could only say, "We did it... we did it..." It took me a minute to even realize I still didn't know if I had a son or daughter!

Claire was taken almost immediately to the warmer because it was so cold in the OR. At first I was very upset because I wanted to be holding her, but-- not unusual for me-- there was some trouble getting the placenta delivered and I probably would have had to release her to the nurse even if we'd been in a regular L&D room so that I could focus on that. About 15 minutes after Claire arrived, the placenta was delivered, but it was jagged and torn in one corner (possibly what had caused the bleeding the night before that first brought me into the hospital) and so my doctor decided to do 2 full hand sweeps of my uterus to remove the rest, and also to check the incision from the c-section I had 2 years ago. That was excruciatingly painful and the first time the whole night that I yelled. Fortunately, it seems to have helped a lot because I have lost a lot less blood so far than I did after previous deliveries.

I did tear a little bit, but it was only worthy of one stitch and was old, brittle scar tissue from tearing with Gabriel that was the culprit. I barely feel it, honestly.

We were brought back down to L&D around 3am (old time). Claire had trouble maintaining her body temperature for the first 12 hours or so of her life, so I did lots of snuggling to help her out. She had the most peaceful beginning hours of all my babies so far.

Daniel wasn't able to spend the night because the floor was packed and I was sharing a room with someone else (whose husband also had to go home because of me). That normally would have been horribly disappointing, but I think we were all on such an emotional high after the birth that it didn't phase either of us.

All in all, I look back on this birth as what should have been the worst, but was the best. There was so much that wasn't ideal: a hyper and paranoid doctor, a bright and obnoxious OR environment, laboring pretty much the whole time in the hospital, Daniel not being able to spend those first hours with Claire and me, etc. And yet it was the least intervened-with, fastest, and most peaceful birth just the same: 3-4 hours total of active labor, spontaneous rupture of the membranes, a self-initiated pushing stage, least amount of blood loss, etc.

It's beautiful to me, really. I see the hand of God all over it. I had poured over books this pregnancy that talk about the "ideal" ways to deliver, but in the end days of the pregnancy, I really had to come to terms with the fact that no environment can compare with trusting the Lord-- and I found that to be amazingly true. If I knew then some of the things I know now, there's a lot I would have changed; but the bottom line is that He knew what I would face and He walked with me through it all, which is better than perfect circumstances any day.

Now we are home and absolutely loving this time with Claire. I feel so good, I honestly can't even believe it. I barely feel like life skipped a beat, and yet we now have this amazing addition of a sweet and precious little girl! She is nursing well (and so is Aubrey, for those who are curious!) and sleeps great at night so far. The kids all adore her and-- sure enough-- I wonder how we were a family before her; she fits.

God is so good and I am in awe of the testimony of Claire's arrival. It is better than I ever dared ask for, and yet so consistent with the gracious nature of our Father, I wonder why I ever expected less.

The birth story, part 1

Friday afternoon, October 30th, I was starting to feel like my fate was sealed: an induction by way of AROM on Sunday at 12:00pm was the only way this baby of mine was going to make an appearance. I was okay with it, though, and felt a certain peace that the delivery would be a successful VBAC anyway.

That evening I started having much more noticeable contractions, but I didn't think a whole lot of it-- I'd been contracting for weeks and weeks, after all-- but Daniel seemed impressed by the fact that he could tell when I was having one because the expression on my face changed slightly. The contractions continued throughout the night, and I would wake during them and doze in-between. By morning I still wasn't convinced I was getting out of the induction, but I was very optimistic that when I was admitted the following day, I'd find that I had progressed from the 2-3cm dilated and 50% effaced that I'd been Thursday morning at the doctor's office. I also felt fairly certain that the contractions had moved the baby from a slightly posterior position to an anterior position, and that was encouraging.

All day Saturday, I had sporadic contractions that usually stopped me in my tracks, but they never developed into a regular pattern. I'd have 2 in 5 minutes, but then I wouldn't have another for 30 minutes. I didn't feel anxious or concerned about the lack of progression, though. I just felt better and better about the next day's induction as my body was showing signs of being ready for labor.

I passed a lot of show throughout the day, but it was Saturday evening after Daniel had taken the kids up to the Hallelujah Party at the church that I started bleeding bright red blood. It wasn't a lot, but I figured I should call the nurses at L&D just to make sure I was okay until the next day's admission. They told me to come in for a non-stress test because the blood after a previous section could mean uterine bleeding, and there was also the possibility that the placenta was tearing slightly. I was also told to pack my bags because the charge nurse was doubtful that I'd be sent home.

She was right.

Daniel and I passed the older kids off to my family for care. We went ahead and threw our own things in a bag (no, I still hadn't packed for myself, but I was packed for the baby this time around!), but the whole way to the hospital I rehearsed what I would say to convince them to let me return home to my own bed that night.

They hooked me up to the monitor and the baby looked good-- and, like I'd hoped, they found the heartbeat on my left side instead of on the right. I was still having contractions (now consistently 8-10 minutes apart). My doctor happened to be there, having just delivered another baby, and he came in to check me. I was a "good" 3cm dilated and the baby was at 0 station and-- most significant to him-- I was 100% effaced. He was pretty convinced that we'd have a baby before morning; between that and the bleeding, he felt strongly that we ought to stay overnight and be monitored.

I'm not sure why we agreed. I had no thought that labor was underway and kind of rolled my eyes at my doctor's insistence that the 5th time around, things could go really fast from where we were. Obviously he didn't know me and hadn't paid attention to my 51-hour marathon labor history.

I was set up in a room and, after a brief fuss about having to wear a hospital gown (I didn't want to put one on already while the nurse told me I had to since I'd be delivering in the OR) and was given an IV because the doctor had (rightly) guessed that I probably hadn't been doing a whole lot of eating and drinking throughout the day (I'd felt "off" between the contractions and lack of sleep the night before, and consequently hadn't been following my normal intake routines). The IV would be removed after pumping me a bit, though, because I only agreed to a heplock during labor.

About an hour or so later (now 9:30pm, I'm guessing), the doctor checked me again. The nurse was encouraging him to go home, but he was certain delivery was near, so I think he decided to see how fast things were moving. There was no progression, which didn't surprise me one bit. I told him he should get a good night's sleep, but he still didn't want to leave.

Sometime between 10:30pm and midnight, the contractions really started to pattern nicely and all of a sudden, they really hurt. Daniel said it was like a switch turned on. The nurse went and got the doctor. I was 5cm and baby was +1 station.

And just as I was starting to wonder if this was actually labor after all, I was told we'd be heading up to the OR.

Daniel and I just kind of looked at each other. We both knew how long my previous labors took. Neither of us really wanted to go up already, but everything was happening much faster than we were prepared for-- we hadn't even considered that I was in labor until a few minutes earlier! Not to mention, I was less and less able to make decisions because I was more and more focused on the contractions that were coming faster and faster.

----------------------------

To be continued...

Introducing

Claire Evangeline
(bright, bringer of good news)

November 1, 2009
1:19am
8lbs 14oz ~ 20-1/2"

We are all of us smitten!