Bring on the smiles!

Elliot's first 10 weeks were marked by tears. Mostly his and sometimes mine.

He wasn't growing well or sleeping well. He cried so much.

At the beginning of June, though, things began to change bit by bit. He started growing. He started sleeping on his own, in his bed. He began laughing more and smiling all the time.

And now, at almost 4 months?

Oh this baby! He is a joy! He naps twice everyday for lengthy periods of time. When he's not asleep, he generally rolls around on the floor or plays with the toys in the swing or laughs at his siblings or watches movies (!), and he lights up whenever I walk into the room (which melts my heart every time).

He is such a funny looking little man: big ears, big eyes, bald head. He has the brightest grin, the softest skin, the wrinkliest scowl. I love the quirkiness of him so much it makes my insides hurt.

I remember often thinking during hours of pacing the floor as he wept and I wanted to weep from the exhaustion and stress of it all, "Just hang in there. This will not last forever. One day, you'll miss these days, Brietta."

I knew from experience that not all babies slip into this world as contentedly and seamlessly as some, and I also knew that while those days and nights with a heartbroken baby can seem to last forever, they actually go by in the blink of an eye.

Here we are already: those newborn days are behind us.

Sure, I wish those first 2+ months had been marked by something other than tears. They weren't exactly fun for me and they certainly made cherishing each moment more of a struggle. But motherhood isn't about what makes my life picture-perfect or easy, after all. Each moment of swaying while he fussed, of setting aside the personal agenda to hold him another hour, was a gift I could give to him. Love I could pour out on him. Joy in the sacrifice that I could invest into him.

It wasn't so much. Not really.

Certainly not compared to the richness of our lives with Elliot around!

 

Rain, Recovery, and Repainting

It's raining.

Which may not seem like a big deal, except that it's been an exceptionally dry summer and rain has been scarce these past months. The grass, normally a vibrant green and soft to the touch here in the northernmost parts of New York, is brown and crunchy. My perennial flower garden is sad: withered leaves, stunted height, sparse and short-lived blooms. My vegetable garden's success is largely due to the sprinkler that has been set up nearby and used almost daily since mid-June.

Today I am reminded in the most tangible of ways that whether my portion be sunny skies or dreary rain, for ultimate growth and prosperity, we need both.

I need both.

**********

It's been almost 3 weeks now since our family first came down with hand, foot, mouth disease. This virus, of course, couldn't just hit everyone all at once and be over with. Oh no, we prefer to take it one at a time in order to maximize its length. I assumed that Daniel and I would make it through unscathed since this is typically an illness associated with children; however, when I became its last victim, Daniel was officially the lone survivor.

(I have no doubt that my exhaustion from caring for my little patients for over a week at that point played a huge part in me getting sick. That and the fact that Elliot was drooling and crying all over me for 3 days while he suffered from the fever, sore throat, and then rash.)

The good news is that we are now immune to this virus. As much as I don't love having my kids get sick, if it's an illness that is fairly common, I'd rather just get it over with!

**********

Since I was stuck at home due to being a walking germ-factory, taking on a house project seemed like the thing to do. Although I am not an extrovert and I need little (like... very little) human interaction in any given week, after a good stretch of being isolated, missing church repeatedly, and not going anywhere, even I start to feel lonely and stir-crazy. Getting a good project rolling helps ease the pain of solitude a bit.

Giving the kitchen a facelift in preparation for a new school year was just the ticket.

I spent many hours with paintbrush in hand. Many. There are 6 windows, 3 doors, lots of old beams, kitchen cabinets, and a vaulted ceiling in this space. While the baby napped, I painted. When the children went to bed at night, I painted. I snuck in an hour here and an hour there. And then another and another and still another.

Daniel dealt with the tricky parts of the mini makeover whenever he was home: painting the ceiling, making new light fixtures out of mason jars, rebuilding the base of the new-to-me cabinet, and more.

It's done now and we are already loving the changes. It's bright. It's simple. It's much more functional than the dining room for morning puzzles or afternoon art due to its not being in the very middle of the house. I've a feeling it will be the perfect space for our upcoming school year.

 

Valuable

On Saturday night, the schedule finally allowed us to make it to our church's monthly young couples gathering. We were so privileged to hear the ever needed and appreciated message that children are valuable. They matter in God's economy and, quite frankly, they matter in the very physical economy of our nation.

I'm so thankful for that reminder.

Yesterday evening, we were trying to wrap up some loose ends on things we'd tackled during Daniel's day off. All in all, it had been a rather productive day, especially when one considers the fact that six children ages nine and under are tagging along in everything we do. Two more batches of jam, errands in Potsdam, electrical work in the bedrooms, mowing the lawn, house cleaning in preparation for a couple very hot days, menu planning, and more. It was well after 6pm as we were finishing up outside in the vegetable garden, staking tomatoes and hoeing/mulching. The kids were, by then, somewhat nuts. Elliot was crying as Bronwyn held him and my three redheads were throwing straw and stepping on baby basil plants (!) and fighting over the garden hose. Everyone was hungry and hot and tired. We were fraying around the edges.

I just wanted to finish up before thinking about baths and dinner. After all, couldn't they see that the garden was important? That if I didn't get some things tended to the whole thing could be a waste of time?

And what, I wondered in my absolute frustration amidst the chaos of children and dirt and water and heat, is more precious than time?

I wish that had been the moment of clarity. It wasn't.

I continued to get frustrated. I spoke harshly. I started cleaning up from my work even though I wasn't finished, telling Daniel I would bring the kids inside and clean them up before starting dinner prep because I couldn't take it any more. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was as bothered by my tone and attitude as I was by the kids' behavior. That made me grumpier.

Baths and showers completed, the baby nursed and somewhat settled, I began washing the sugar snap peas first. And it was as I stood at the sink that I felt the tears start to sting my eyes.

Time. Time. Time.

I care so much about time. About how I'm using it. About whether or not I'm wasting it.

And in the midst of those very concerns, I miss the fact that time isn't more valuable than my children. I forget that it isn't the most precious thing I've been given. And certainly if I am going to squander and use it on anything, my children are the very ones I ought to be squandering and using it on.

Not the garden. Not the house. Not my hobbies. Not the ministry.

On them.

Time will pass me by. One day I will take my last breath. My life is like a vapor, here one second and gone the next.

But my children are my legacy.

They are worth the physical work of my hands, my intellect, my emotional energy, and my time. I have not wasted any of my own personal resources when I pour all that I have into them.

I'm not saying there isn't a time to buckle down and call something a priority. Yes, the garden is important. The house is important. The ministry is important. Even hobbies can be important. But none of them is more important. Neither am I saying that time doesn't matter and that we should be frivolous with it. But it is meant to be a tool, not my master.

Standing at the sink, I found myself praying [again] for perspective. For eyes to see in those little but stressful intersections of life what truly matters. I wondered why I so easily forget (don't I know this and didn't I just hear it?). I felt discouraged that I might never change. But in the end, I know that He is building this house, He is building me, and He will be faithful to help me learn that my children are the most valuable gift I've been given.

Psalm 127
If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks. 
   If God doesn't guard the city, 
      the night watchman might as well nap. 
   It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, 
      and work your worried fingers to the bone. 
   Don't you know he enjoys 
      giving rest to those he loves? 

 Don't you see that children are God's best gift? 
      the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? 
   Like a warrior's fistful of arrows 
      are the children of a vigorous youth. 
   Oh, how blessed are you parents, 
      with your quivers full of children! 
   Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; 
      you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

 

When Daddy's away...

... the mom and kids will play!

Actually, Daniel being gone for any length of time (one night, three weeks-- it doesn't much matter) usually means wedig in and take care of a small list of projects. These are typically things that I've been wanting to see finished that he will gladly and quickly take responsibility for but just doesn't have time for. It's a fun way to surprise him (sometimes with more holes in freshly painted walls than he perhaps fully appreciates!) and a great way to help pass the time as we await his return.

This time around has been no different-- and fortunately the kids enjoy some out-of-the-norm work just as much as I do! With their help, I've moved and swapped out a few dressers, deep-cleaned the boys' room, moved and reorganized bookshelves and downstairs toys, put some things in the attic and taken some other things out, hung pictures in the family room and my bedroom and the upstairs bathroom, and packed up Gabriel's little boy drum set *sniff* that he's officially outgrown (both in sound and size).

I've also dug in a bit with Elliot. He's 2 months old now and in the past 2 weeks finally starting to fill out. When he goes in for a weigh-in next week, I anticipate some good results. With all that in mind, I decided it was time he start learning how to nap. I'm no rigid scheduler when it comes to my babies (ha!), but Daniel's absence sure does highlight just how little time Elliot spends not in somebody's arms. (It's also highlighted how rarely I shower before Daniel gets home from work. Yikes!)

We're not setting any records by any means, but we're getting into a little groove and I'm actually finding enough time to do some things each day without him getting ridiculously overtired because I'm not holding him. But don't tell: the little man will only sleep on his tummy. I know this isn't recommended-- and believe me, I've tried to get him to sleep on his back-- but it works.

Of course, without Daniel here I am running low on sleep. I'm doing the 8-10pm pacing/bouncing with the fussy baby, the nursing throughout the night hours, the waking at 2am with a croupy Aubrey, the praying with Gabriel about bad dreams at 4am, the starting the day with Claire at 6am, etc. I miss my early-morning man (and the coffee he always has waiting for me when I wake up).

Last night as we sat down to a fancy dinner of baked oatmeal (!), Bronwyn sighed, "The house feels so empty without Daddy."

So when Daddy's away, the real truth is that we count down the days until he's home again!

 

Misc.

:: We are in our final week of school here in the little yellow house. Gabriel and Bronwyn have finished all their books/objectives other than a couple more days of history. Jackson has 2 more pages of math (he has finished the entire Bob Jones 1st grade book in about 5 months), some Explode the Code (now that he's reading books like Danny and the Dinosaur, it seems kind of silly to have him doing page after page of words with the tch ending so we may just be done at the end of the week, regardless of how much is technically left undone), and a few pages of handwriting. The fact that we are so close to being finished with everything I'd hoped to accomplish feels like nothing less than a miracle, and I absolutely mean that. I seriously have no idea how this happened. My kids amaze me.

:: Elliot is finally napping almost every day, thanks to a swaddling blanket a friend lent me. He's also a bit less fussy now that he's got a decent sleeping routine at night, is nursing and growing better (last week he was 9lbs7oz and 22" long), and as long as I don't eat a lot of corn in one day. So although he isn't even remotely what I would call an easy-going baby, I'm finally able to snatch time here and there throughout the day to take a shower, do the laundry, cook [occasionally], weed the garden, etc. This makes life feel much more manageable.

:: The weather has been amazing. Absolutely amazing. Even yesterday's rain was welcomed as today the gardens are bursting afresh in size and color (along with the weeds, I'm afraid). The kids play outside endlessly once their chores and school are done-- and we've even done history outside most days so we can enjoy the sun during that time, too.

slip n' slide fun in the 89-degree heat on Sunday afternoon
 

:: I'm in my fourth week of trying to get out at least 3 mornings a week for a walk/run. Most days when I return after the 20-30 minutes I'm gone Elliot is crying (what can I say? the boy loves me!), so this is as much a commitment on Daniel's part as on mine. Some mornings I am so tired when I wake up that I come up with a million reasons why I shouldn't, but after I've made myself, I am so glad. It's not just the exercise that's so great-- it's also getting outdoors first thing and that brief time alone with Jesus. I love it.

:: We are incredibly close to getting into our upstairs bedroom. Daniel had set a deadline for himself of being done by the last weekend in May. Due to some emergency things that came up on several of his recent days off, the work is barely getting done in time-- but it's getting done! Elliot even cooperated the other night and let me pitch in for a couple hours of late-night painting following a full day at work/home and the boys' first baseball game of the season. As Daniel and I burned the midnight oil, we wondered how many hours we've clocked doing just that sort of thing together. It's actually become quite special in its own way.

the trim is painted and the oil is curing even as I type;
the room will be ready for furniture tomorrow evening

:: I have been making a plan of attack for best enjoying and most thoroughly taking advantage of summer's fresh produce. In early April, I signed us up for a full share from a local CSA (community supported agriculture) and we'll begin receiving weekly boxes of produce in June. Our own personal vegetable garden will mostly be filled with foods that I can preserve for the winter months, like lots and lots of tomatoes for canning, winter squash, etc. I'm hoping this is a good combination that ends up best facilitating a largely organic, vegetable-rich diet for us year-round. Time will tell.

:: With the conclusion of our 2011-2012 school year right before us, I have been trying to come up with a strategy for the summer months. As our family grows, so too does the reality that fun takes work/preparation/planning. We don't just have one or two sets of feet tracking in loose grass and dirt throughout the day. And at the end of the day, we have a good deal more than one or two children's sweaty, grass-stained clothes and bodies to deal with. (Don't even get me started on how long it takes to get ready for and then clean up from a swimming/beach outing!) I love, love, love the opportunities for fun that summer provides, but I must be ever armed with a plan for how to make the logistics of it all work-- logistics like laundry, keeping the house in some semblance of order, meal planning and preparation, and making sure everybody gets enough sleep. Any ideas/suggestions that you find helpful are gladly accepted over here!

 

from my kids

My kids are getting old enough that the cards and notes they give me reveal more and more personality and personal thoughts all the time. This year, my Mother's Day cards were just wonderful. As is fitting for the year and the past crazy 6 weeks we've shared with Elliot, they constructed these cards while I was in the shower getting ready for church yesterday morning-- nothing like flying by the seat of your pants! Somehow they didn't find the narrow time constraints at all difficult and managed to produce some priceless treasures anyway.

Claire's was, of course, just scribbles on a piece of construction paper on which Daniel had written, "MOM".

Aubrey drew a picture of me, complete with arms and legs protruding directly from a gigantic head. A classic 4-year-old portrait all the way.

Jack began by lovingly drawing a picture of a rainbow, only to somehow progress to a picture of the cross with lilies all around it-- on the back of the card wrote, "He is risea," which must have somehow seemed like the logical way to spell "He is risen" in his 6-year-old mind. I'm still not sure of the thought process that led him to such a card and sentiment for Mother's Day, but I love it anyway.

Bronwyn wrote a nice note for me, including, "You're the best mom in the whol world. I think you know why, I've seen lots of moms and you are the best mother of them all." I'm not sure we should be comparing, but I guess if she's going to, I appreciate that she still thinks I'm tops.

Gabriel somehow wrote an entire poem for me in the brief 15 minutes he had. My budding writer.

Beaneath the stars you lay
staring at the moon
And the man in the moon is full with gloom
Because the stars had put on a wonderful show
And the moon has not.

How can I please this mother with six children tonight?
said the moon.
And one of the stars came over and said:
Come join us in our show.
Me? said the moon.
Yes you, said the star.
You're the brightest object at night.
OK, said the moon, but I might not get it right.
Sure you will, said the star.

Then down on the earth you gasp
for in the tracing of the stars it said,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Curriculum

It's that time of year. We're in the countdown to wrapping up the 2011-2012 school year (9 math lessons, 4 pages of handwriting, 10 history lessons, etc.), which for me always means one thing: I am already looking at and dreaming about curriculum options for next year. I'm pretty sure that pouring over catalogs and websites and wishing that somehow we could do it all is a sure sign that I love homeschooling!

I haven't purchased anything yet so nothing is completely set in stone, but since it's helpful and inspiring and interesting to me to see what others are considering, I figure I'll share the plans that are rolling around in my head in case it's also helpful to you!

1. Bible

        

We have many wonderful children's Bibles and I love them all. But we've used and reused them quite a bit-- and we also come up short-handed (more kids than Bibles!) when I tell everyone to sit down first thing to do some personal Bible reading. I'm planning on buying the Old Testament and New Testament Story Bibles for Older Children by Anne DeVries for Gabriel to use, while I'll have Bronwyn continue reading out of Arthur Maxwell's 10-volume Bible Story set (which is what I read as a child) and Jackson continue reading out of The Early Reader's Bible (which is what both Gabriel and then Bronwyn started with). For family devotions, we love Mary Batchelor's The Children's Bible in 365 Stories.

2. Math

         

Math was probably the simplest decision for me this year. The math we used this past year proved to be a great fit for each child (and for me as the teacher), so that's what we're sticking with. Gabriel and Bronwyn will use Teaching Textbooks, grades 5 and 4, and Jackson and Aubrey will use Bob Jones, grades 2 and K5.

3. Early Reading/Phonics 

   

I've never used a phonics curriculum so I don't plan on using one with Aubrey either. This isn't because I'm against phonics programs, but simply because the "method" for teaching children to read that I first tried has worked exceptionally well for my kids so far. I guess I figure that as long as it's working and I am excited about it, we won't change anything. The foundation of the method I use is laid out in Ruth Beechick's A Home Start In Reading. Just like with the other children, I will begin Aubrey with that method and then add in Explode The Code's primer series, Get Ready for The Code, Get Set for The Code and Go for The Code, as a supplement. The A Beka readers that were passed on to me from my mom round out our reading program and are great at getting beginners reading "books" very quickly, making for some proud moments that I absolutely look forward to with each child!

I had been thinking up until about a week ago that I would continue with Explode The Code for Jackson, too (he is finishing up Book 4 right now), but reading "clicked" just in the past several days and immediately upon that happening, his excitement about these workbooks is diminishing. Now that he's starting to really and truly grasp reading, he is also feeling the repetition of the program (which is, I think, a positive for children who are not yet reading independently, but does potentially get boring for the child who is getting established in reading).

4. Handwriting

      

Back when Gabriel was in 1st grade and Bronwyn was in K, I started using Getty-Dubay's Italic Handwriting series. It isn't the way I first learned to write, so at the time I wasn't sure how I felt about it. As we've progressed through the program, though, I can see how perhaps it is a great way to teach penmanship for two reasons: 1. it flows into cursive more naturally, and 2. it seems more practical in a world that uses a hybrid of printing & cursive in adulthood. I have children in all different books in the series-- A, C, E, and F-- and am very pleased with my children's handwriting, which is I guess a good test of a handwriting curriculum.

This year I'm going to try a copywork series by Sandi Queen for Gabriel, Bronwyn, and Jackson. I've never seen it before so I have no idea how we'll like it, but I do love the descriptions-- and the cover art is enough to make it appealing to try!

We've not done formal grammar yet, but now that Gabriel is well established in a love for writing, I want to add in more study of the mechanics. This boy of mine writes and writes and writes-- I can see him becoming a well-written man someday if I can guide him without squashing his passion for it. With that in mind, I'm going to be using A Beka's Language 3, but we won't go overboard with it. I'll probably use it 2x/week at most and I'll continue to let his "free" writing (he loves to write books*-- he's on the 4th book in a series he's currently writing!) be just that: free. I may also include Bronwyn in this, though I haven't decided for sure.

*I keep our cupboard well stocked with blank white bound books from Bare Books. Homeschoolers do get the school/business shipping rate, too, which I think is awesome!

5. History

   

This fall we're going to put our Beautiful Feet Early American History study on hold in order to join with some other students in a study about the Titanic/1912/the Progressive Era/etc. I'm already having lots of fun finding resources, including a 1912 Paris fashion coloring book for Bronwyn, literature that was published at that time for reading, documentaries for watching, and museums for visiting (please, can we take a field trip or two, honey?), and I can't wait to dive in! All the kids will be involved in this since unit/family study/learning together is one of my very favorite things about homeschooling.

6. Science

   

To go along with our Titanic inspired study, I'm leaning toward getting Apologia's Exploring Creation with Zoology 2: Swimming Creatures of the Fifth Day. My kids are fascinated by sea life and exploration, and I think they would really enjoy this.

We'll also continue with nature journaling (inspired by Keeping a Nature Journal). Last fall I purchased each of the three older children nice spiral bound sketchbooks that they are systematically adding to a bit at a time. These journals have drawings, poems, pressed leaves and flowers, etc. in them. Currently, the emphasis has been drawing birds, which is what Gabriel has been learning on Fridays in his art class and then comes home and teaches the others.

7. Art

Although I'm no artist (ha!), I do love art and my children love art, so if we have time we'll do a small study of famous pieces of art and artists using Usborne's The Children's Book of Art as our spring board. This is less essential since art is included at Friday School, which means that if the other elements of homeschooling are taking up all our time, we can shelve the idea for another time/year if need be.

8. Physical Education

No textbooks here! We cover health, hygiene, etc. in daily life with reminders ("Flush the toilet AND wash your hands, please!"), discussion, doctor's visits, treating sickness, talking about Aubrey's heart, caring for younger siblings, and more.

Exercise and activity looks like a lot of outdoor play, gym class at Friday School, basketball & baseball with church/community leagues for the boys, and ballet for the girls (Aubrey is already pretty determined that she wants to do ballet and not basketball, T-ball, gymnastics, or any other thing an older sibling might suggest). Bronwyn has started running with me now that I'm running again and Gabriel has started running with Daniel. Hopefully we'll be able to keep it up since they both love it.

 

And that's it in a nutshell. Again, pretty much nothing is set in stone and there's still more exploring to do, but I'm excited about the planning and dreaming! And I always take recommendations if you know of something that you think, after reading this, that I'll love! :)