Bring on the smiles!

Elliot's first 10 weeks were marked by tears. Mostly his and sometimes mine.

He wasn't growing well or sleeping well. He cried so much.

At the beginning of June, though, things began to change bit by bit. He started growing. He started sleeping on his own, in his bed. He began laughing more and smiling all the time.

And now, at almost 4 months?

Oh this baby! He is a joy! He naps twice everyday for lengthy periods of time. When he's not asleep, he generally rolls around on the floor or plays with the toys in the swing or laughs at his siblings or watches movies (!), and he lights up whenever I walk into the room (which melts my heart every time).

He is such a funny looking little man: big ears, big eyes, bald head. He has the brightest grin, the softest skin, the wrinkliest scowl. I love the quirkiness of him so much it makes my insides hurt.

I remember often thinking during hours of pacing the floor as he wept and I wanted to weep from the exhaustion and stress of it all, "Just hang in there. This will not last forever. One day, you'll miss these days, Brietta."

I knew from experience that not all babies slip into this world as contentedly and seamlessly as some, and I also knew that while those days and nights with a heartbroken baby can seem to last forever, they actually go by in the blink of an eye.

Here we are already: those newborn days are behind us.

Sure, I wish those first 2+ months had been marked by something other than tears. They weren't exactly fun for me and they certainly made cherishing each moment more of a struggle. But motherhood isn't about what makes my life picture-perfect or easy, after all. Each moment of swaying while he fussed, of setting aside the personal agenda to hold him another hour, was a gift I could give to him. Love I could pour out on him. Joy in the sacrifice that I could invest into him.

It wasn't so much. Not really.

Certainly not compared to the richness of our lives with Elliot around!