Reasons I adore autumn:

1. The colors. Ohmy, the colors. Bright blue skies peeking out from gray clouds. Orange and red and yellow leaves everywhere. Green, green, green grass. Golds and browns and buffs.

2. Chunky patterned tights on little girl legs. Does it get any cuter, I ask?

3. Routine and productivity. Oh how I love this time of year just for this!

4. Decorating the house with pumpkins and mums and candles and candles and candles.

5. The food. Applesauce and apple pies and apple crisps and apple muffins. Pumpkin breads and pumpkin oatmeal. Chowders of every variety: potato, corn, butternut squash, and more.

6. The anticipation of the holidays! I've been thinking about Thanksgiving the last couple days and have officially decided that it's becoming almost as dear to me as Christmas and Easter, despite the traditional foods not being quite my favorite. (I've learned to make my peace with it by loading up on the roasted brussels sprouts and cranberry bread.)

7. My anniversary. It's coming up, you know. My life was wonderfully changed on October 6, 2001.

8. The way it draws us home. I love the adventure of summer, but I love coming home at the end to candlelight and warm dinners and cozy aphgans.

9. Scarves and leggings and boots and cardigans. Need I say more?

10. And although I could go on and on, I just have to say it again: the colors. They take my breath away every. single. year.

What I have

I woke up this morning and I felt grumpy.
I guess I had a real-deal case of the Monday blues.
I wasn't too excited about digging into the school books with the kids. Or washing & drying bedsheets. Or baking bread. Or making the phone calls I've been putting off. Or, or, or.
Without realizing it, I was rehearsing the reasons why I should be allowed to feel grumpy.
You know, like not having slept through the night in... oh... about eight years.

But how foolish I was/am.

I am so very very very VERY blessed.

Of course I feel miserable if I only think about what I'm not getting.
(Like sleep. Which is overrated, by the way.)
But what about what I do have?

What about the five beautiful children who call me Mama?
Even those middle-of-the-night calls are precious in their own way.

It's not just work this house represents.
It's a home, a haven, a resting place.

And my husband? He's not just a man who wants his dinner at the end of the day.
He takes care of me. He loves me. He constantly puts me before himself.

That washer that is costing us money to repair?
We have the money to repair it, and I am thankful!

Homeschooling requires something of me, sure. But I get a whole lot from it.
Do you know that Bronwyn exclaimed, "I love it!" when I read Daybreak by Longfellow aloud to her?

So I didn't get a shower until after dinner today.
I got hugs and kisses from my children. I had more help from Daniel than he really had time to give.

Best of all, I have salvation.
A beautiful, perfect gift from God.

I am so rich. And I have no right to be grumpy about anything!

The main thing

Lately I've been thinking lots about what I am known for. Not in a prideful sense (I hope!), but in a convicted examination sense. Even when I forget about it, the thought pops back into my head it seems every time I hear someone break open the Word and share. I wonder: do people think Jesus when they think of me?

You see, I live out my walk with Christ in practical ways. This is right and good. But it's so easy to make these out-workings the main things. The truth is, when I come to mind, it would be easy to think Mom or Homemaking or Homeschooling or Tidy or Frugal or whatever. None of those things are evil or wicked. Indeed, they are all part of who I am and how the Lord has asked me to live.

But they aren't the Main Thing.

I think of my dad's sermon several months ago when he helped us see that the apostle Paul, in the book of Philippians, could have identified himself as apostle, leader, church father, etc.; but instead, he identified himself as a bond servant of Christ. Loving and serving Jesus... that was what mattered to him.

At the Blueprint Conference we hosted at our church this past weekend, I found myself thinking about what my children might define me as. Sure, I am Mother to them. I'm the one who does their laundry, teaches them their sums, cooks their dinner, and reminds them to do their chores. But in the end, I want them to see me and know me as one who loves Jesus. A sinner saved by grace who wants nothing more than to pour herself out for Him.

There are so many soap boxes out there and I've got my fair share.

I want to keep Jesus in His rightful place.
In my heart. In my home. In my life.

He's the Main Thing.

Slipping into routine

We didn't plunge into a fall routine around here this year. In fact, I'm still trying to tie up all the loose ends-- like chore charts and reward systems, labels on freshly purged and reorganized toys, final school supplies purchased, and some other odds and ends-- but we've slipped into Fall 2010, and it's been really beautiful.

I say "slipped," but I have to confess that I'm sure my family has felt on some days recently that it's not been so subtle and calm a transition. I have found myself in Organizational Mode at the most unexpected times. In past years , I have always planned my projects and fall cleaning, and the family has received due warning about when these activities will take place. This year? Well, it's happened rather randomly. I start with putting away the laundry and the next thing Daniel and the kids know, I'm swapping dressers and purging closets; I go to wrap a gift and end up overhauling all my gift wrapping supplies and how they're stored; I buy a bookshelf to make room for more books and school materials, and suddenly I'm rearranging entire rooms. Daniel can't find batteries or flashlights without getting directions from me, and the kids can't figure out where I moved their scrap paper and colored pencils and scissors to and, oops, I threw away every last crayon without meaning to when I decided that any broken ones would go in the trash (apparently, that was all of them).

In the midst of that, though, we've had totally normal days when I haven't gone haywire on everyone, and we've begun working our way through our school books, and the children have been learning new responsibilities around the house, and all this without actual weekly chore assignments getting nailed down or construction paper being bought or even having crayons on hand, for heaven's sake. I won't lie: I am looking forward to having those things in place, but we are managing just fine in the meantime and actually finding our groove.

And it's amazing to me that I really and truly am entering a season of motherhood when I don't have to provide all the physical energy and effort on behalf of my entire little brood for everything we do. I can get all weird about random cleaning and organizing and instead of the kids eating chalk or cutting each others' hair or dumping the entire box of Cheerios on the kitchen floor and stomping all over them while I do that, they play nicely. Even better? They help me! And not just in a "Oh that's cute, your toddler is following you around while you vacuum the house" kind of way. Like, they help in a "Gabriel, you dust and vacuum your bedroom and, Bronwyn, you fold the laundry and, Jackson, you watch Aubrey and Claire while I go crazy with my House Things" kind of way.

3

Happy Birthday
to the prettiest strawberry-blonde girl ever,
to the baby that taught me to better cherish each day,
to the miracle who demonstrates the power of God with every laugh and skip she takes,
to the spunky, opinionated, effervescent little person we can't imagine life without,
to the toddler with the irresistible voice,
to our very own Aubrey Collete!

Three years ago you came into the world, dear girl, and turned us upside-down.
God has used you to teach us so much about Himself, His love, and His grace.
We are thankful for you.
We celebrate you.
We love you!

birthday

Today is my twenty-eighth birthday. As old as the birthdays of each of my children always make me feel, this one reminds me that I'm actually still pretty young and that I have lots ahead of me in God!

Last week, I told Daniel what I wanted for my birthday: a day to remind myself of the joy of being a mom, a day spent laughing with him, a day free from long To Do lists and full of opportunities to hear the thoughts of my children, a day to relish and soak up This Moment.

I didn't want to go off, just the two of us. It's just not me. I love being with my kids, and I especially love being with them when I don't have anything more to do than just enjoy them.

So Daniel took the kids and I to Lake Placid, and we had, undeniably, one of the most enjoyable days I have had in months. From start to finish, it was simple, laid-back, hilarious, and FUN. The kids had us in stitches left and right-- it's amazing how much they keep us rolling with their funny sayings and quirky habits and plain old cuteness! We ate incredibly good burgers, walked up and down and all over the place, visited the olympics training center, held hands and talked, and-- of course-- shopped.

Boy, did we shop! Daniel and the kids were great sports and let me enjoy myself with lots of browsing. It kills Daniel that I can scour 20 stores and only walk away with a few purchases, but the looking is as fun for me as the buying! Today, though, he didn't say a word about all the perusing. He's a good sport, you know.

On top of all that, the weather couldn't have been more beautiful. It was just perfect.

And, fortunately, Aubrey and I really are feeling much better. I'm still coughing, but not if I don't laugh too much (which was basically impossible today, but oh well!) and Aubrey's glands are still a bit swollen, but we feel 100% more energetic than we did just yesterday.

Future olympians???



I take shopping quite seriously, I'll have you know.



Apparently, Aubrey is not quite so serious about it.



Bronwyn had lots of fun with mannequins!



And Daniel seemed to enjoy it, too, since there are about 12 pictures like this and very few others!



My, how big they're getting!



My birthday buddy.
(Aubrey knows our birthdays are pretty close together. She insisted that this outing and special day was for her, too, and I was happy to humor her.)

Change

There's been a gradual change in my house, gradual enough that it's really caught me unawares: some of my toddlers have become children.

In general, I still think of myself as being a young mom with a small brood clinging to her apron strings. Then-- Bam!-- something happens to help me realize that, actually, my apron strings are getting longer and longer, the older children are growing more and more independent, and I am quickly losing my excuse in motherhood of being "new" to it. (Don't worry: there are plenty more other excuses I'll come up with, I'm sure.)

This morning I had one of those moments. I was scribbling out a chore list, trying desperately to battle the clutter and dirt that is collecting while I nurse a sinus infection and what I suspect is a developing case of strep throat. It looked like this:

Gabriel:
clean downstairs bathroom
fold laundry
dust family room & mudroom

Bronwyn:
clean upstairs bathroom
fold laundry
dust dining room & my bedroom

Jackson:
collect garbage from bathrooms
sweep kitchen
dust living room & music room

Aubrey:
collect laundry from bedroom hampers
pick up puzzles (that Claire had dumped out)

And then it went on to list the things I would take care of.

I don't know... it was just one of those Reality of the Passing of Time moments. As I made these hurried notes, I couldn't help but feel like my mom. I remember those days when she would dole out assignments and... well... I wasn't a toddler then... which I guess means that my children aren't all toddlers either.

But when did this happen? How did they get big enough for responsibility? And who said they could grow up so fast???