4 Months

As if Gabriel turning seven just days ago wasn't enough of a reminder that the days are slipping like sand through my fingers, our littlest princess hit another milestone today. That's right: it's been four months since Claire came into the world, a beautiful and unique miracle that captured our hearts.

(Of course, I was initially told that she was a he, but ask Daniel about that story some other time!)

Claire is, ohmyword, such a joy.

She melts me daily with her happy and [generally] contented disposition.
She naps, which feels like a miracle on the heels of Aubrey's nap-resistant infancy.
She doesn't coo at us: she blows raspberries at us. Cracks. me. up.
She smiles all the time. No, really: all the time.
She has the fattest, most delicious thighs in the world. Not that I've actually eaten them, of course. I just know, is all.

If Claire's first four months are any indication of the joy she will bring to others, I'd say this girl is going to bless the socks off lots and lots of people in her lifetime!

Seven

Seven years ago, I was in the throes of labor. I'd felt the first painful pangs of birth about 35 hours earlier, and what I didn't know then, thank goodness, was that I had another 16 hours still ahead of me.

I had an amazing team of support during those long and grueling days: a mom who held my hand and told me over and over that I was made for this; a husband who rubbed my back and prayed for me; midwives who made plans and ran interference in order to get me the natural birth I wanted, pulled my hair back from my face as I threw up over and over and over again, and smiled when it seemed impossible to smile.

And I had the anticipation of holding my first baby!

Daniel still says it was amazing to watch Gabriel come into the world. After hours of labor, the tears and the groans were in an instant replaced with indescribable joy.

At 10:56pm on February 26th, I had a son. A beautiful, healthy son!

I was a mother. Our journey together had begun.

And I can't believe it's been seven years since that day!

Happy 7th Birthday to a talented, conscientious, and sincere young man. We love you more than words could ever say, Gabriel-Bones!

God's best gifts

I love them so.

I love the Lord, because He hears my prayers...

Lately, I've been looking around me and feeling like the overwhelming trend is mountains: big cliffs in my way that seem impossible to move; big cliffs in the lives of the people I love; hurdles and challenges and circumstances that can make the soul weary.

I pray for breakthrough. I take fasting more seriously. I believe for miracles.

Please, Lord, a baby for them. A financial miracle for her. More laborers in the ministry, Lord. A place to reach out in Potsdam. Strength and consolation for that family. The right connections for him. People who love You to surround that little girl.

And yet the rays of daylight still seem overshadowed by the plain old challenges that surround-- big boulders that seem to laugh at me and make me wonder if these prayers are making a difference.

I carry the burden of seeing my children follow Him. I desperately long for a fire to be lit inside of them that nothing in this life can ever quench. Please, Jesus, I want nothing more than for them to love You.

I carry the burden of this local church family. I love these people. I love this vision. I love this leadership team. I love our gatherings and I long for the lost to be brought into the house of the Lord. Sometimes I wonder why it seems like the enemy is being allowed to taunt when I know he loses in the end. Please, God, give us favor and victory.

I carry the burden of my husband. When he hurts, I hurt. When he's disappointed, I am, too. When people he loves turn away from Christ, he's not the only one who cries. Please, Father, let the joy before him carry him always.

I confess to letting the burdens weary me.

But today I am reminded that it's not because He has grown faint.

No, He is ever strong. His faithfulness never falters. He said He will build His church, and the gates of the hell won't prevail. He who keeps us will neither slumber nor sleep. The glory of the Lord will be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

And the key: those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.

Today, I don't just lift my requests to Him-- though it is certainly right and fitting to bring my burdens to the One who holds everything together. Today, I serve Him and make Him my focus. I wait on Him. There is joy in His presence. In the face of His goodness, the mountains that loomed crumble before me. When I look to Him, that which seemed so overwhelming and impossible absolutely fades away in the light of His kindness and faithfulness.

Today, my prayers are not uttered out of a weariness of soul, but out of a confidence and a contentment: He's got the whole world in His hands.

I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

...Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

...O Lord, truly I am Your servant;
I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant;
You have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
And will call upon the name of the Lord.

Psalm 116

Food

Have I ever written about what great eaters my kids are?

No, I don't think so. And I don't want to forget this. And I certainly don't want to take it for granted.

So let me expound:

:: They all eat seafood. Of all varieties. Fish chowder. Grain medleys with shrimp thrown in. Tuna salad sandwiches. Broiled tilapia. Grilled salmon. I forget how novel and wonderful and grown-up this is of them until I talk with many other mothers.

:: Vegetables are required in our home, and they comply. Sometimes there needs to be extra prompting before the food is eaten, but more often it's as simple as a reminder to not complain about the food in front of them.

:: I can't think of very many things they pick out of dishes in an attempt to avoid eating them. Tomatoes, onions, peppers, zucchini, green beans... the list goes on and on of things I can recall trying to avoid consuming as a child (but wasn't allowed, thank you a million times over, Mom and Dad!) that they will eat first so they can get it out of the way.

:: They like raisins. (Which I am still childish enough to grimace about.)

:: They love granola and oatmeal of all varieties more than they like cold cereal. Maybe it was just me as a kid, but I considered golden grahams to be far superior to a bowl of creamy, maple syrup-sweetened porridge (what was I thinking???) until I was much older.

:: I have two children who will fill up on cut up raw veggies. They love peppers and cucumbers and carrots and cauliflower. Miraculous. The other two are less adventurous, but will still devour a small bag of baby carrots in one sitting if I don't keep an eye on them.

:: Some of their favorite foods are beans. Black bean soup. Mexican lasagna. Sausage and navy bean soup. Homemade refried beans and brown rice. They get excited when I make these dishes!

I'm sure there's more that I can't even think of. I just know that our food battles have been few and far between (if a bit intense when we have had them).

And, believe me, this isn't because of amazing parenting skills or some great trick. If Daniel and I have learned to be firm about food, it's because we grew up with parents who were firm about food and we have reaped the blessing of not being picky eaters ourselves, and honestly, I just think I've gotten off pretty easy so far. The truth is, they love food!

(I have no idea where that came from. )

My morning

I am woken by the sounds of Aubrey's toddler chatter coming through our fuzzy monitor. I roll over slightly, but not too much-- there's a baby laying next to me in bed-- to see what time it is. I'm grateful that it's after 5:45am, and then I wonder at myself that I can find any reason to be glad it's only 5:56am.

I stumble upstairs and pick Aubrey up. She insists upon sitting on her bed until retrieved, though I have tried many times to convince her to quietly come downstairs in the morning so as to not wake her siblings. As predicted, Bronwyn's eyes are open: she's been woken by the talkative sister next to her.

We come downstairs and the girls crawl under a blanket on the couch. I fetch Claire after hearing noises from the bedroom.

Diapers are changed. Water bottles are filled. Aubrey gets her daily medication. I brush my teeth since I can't stand being awake for more than a few minutes without doing so. Jackson joins us downstairs because it's now 6:00 and he almost never sleeps past 6.

And then?

Then I stumble over to the coffee pot. The little red light is on and the coffee's ready: Daniel made it before he left for work this morning, hallelujah.

I sit down with my Bible and coffee. I pick Claire up so I can nurse her while I read. The kids are playing with blocks that Papa made for them.

My list is a mile long, but for now, we just sit.

It's going to be a good day.

1/4 of a year

Swoosh.

That was Claire's first three months flying by. Gone. Over.

Wahhhhh!

I love the emerging personality, the added rolls and dimples, the baby giggles, the interaction, the way she tucks her bottom lip in and slurps away on it (!)... I even love the real tears she now cries. But I just honestly, for real, break-my-heart can't believe the newborn days are done.

Claire looks more and more like a red-headed Bronwyn to me. Her disposition as an infant reminds me the most of Bronwyn, too: she's generally pleasant, sleeps decently, adores a smiling face, and does okay with self-soothing in those moments when I just can't get to her right away.

And, oh! is this girl fat! She's mushy and smooshy and almost edible in her chubbiness!

I. love. it.

Happy first three months, baby girl. You are a delight to this mama's heart.

Just please, please, please stop growing now?