on chore charts and flow charts and daily charts

**I often feel reluctant/apprehensive when sharing our "systems." Not everyone is a list or a chart kind of person, and that's okay. No two families will benefit from the same routines, and that is wonderful! That said, I also know how much I appreciate seeing what others do. Even if I don't utilize a single specific idea shared, it often is enough to get the "juices" flowing afresh for me and my own home, so here goes nothing!**

First off, please know that, even for me-- someone whose mind thinks in terms of structure, patterns, charts, and systems-- the realities of life with babies and toddlers and young children forces me to let go of some a lot of my need/desire for systems. Oh, these years can be trying on my soul! Every ten minutes requiring new evaluation for what is a reasonable expectation of behavior and productivity! Flexibility, the name of the game! Holding plans loosely becomes essential and being quick to readjust priorities imperative!

Let me be clear that a structure, schedule, flow chart, system needs to serve you and your family. You are not a slave to it. It's there to help you. And when it doesn't help, don't think twice about making exceptions or throwing the whole thing out the window!

So yes: flexibility is key.

But even since they were very little I've had chore charts of some variety because as much as children require flexibility, they also benefit tremendously from routine-- even if it's just the routine of how we wake up and how we go to bed.

Around here, first it was a traced hand with our basic Five Fingers routine hung in the bedroom when I had just four little ones, then ages 4-1/2 and under. Then pictures of additional tasks on magnets on the fridge got added in. Another year, a wheel that rotated responsibilities. In the last several years, it's as simple as columns and rows. Sometimes rewards and checkpoints of different kinds accompany these columns and rows, but for three years the columns and rows don't change except to expand and challenge and stretch my young charges.

These days, it's five kids all pitching in to help while the two littlest ones tag along. We work together. I have my jobs while they have theirs. Chicken duty, meal prep, bathrooms and bedrooms. Sweeping and vacuuming and dusting and washing and baking. There are extra things that come up; days when I scratch the "normal" list and make one that is much more comprehensive, perhaps in anticipation of a holiday or trip or party.

Chores have been a constant these years. Work is important. When and how that takes place has changed over the years, but always there.

Always as unto the Lord, though.

Always, I try to tell them: we do it well because He is always watching and He is always worth our best effort, our sincerest worship.

Gradually, as homeschooling year rolled into homeschooling year, we settled into a consistent morning routine: Five Fingers, personal quiet time, breakfast prep, breakfast & family (sometimes with Daniel, sometimes not) devotions, chores. These things almost always come before we get into the school books. Clean children + a clean house = better productivity, in my experience.

(But maybe we're weird like that.)

Still, that was really it in terms of a "schedule".

But last year as I approached my second year of homeschooling four children who are fairly close together in age with two-going-on-three little ones underfoot, I realized that for all the years I had spent letting go, this was the time to regain some more structure.

Only now, not so much for my sake as for theirs.

For my oldest three children, in particular, there needed to be more ahead-of-time knowledge about what a good school day looked like from my perspective. They are not mind-readers. And the training of having them come to me and ask, "What's next?" was actually starting to drive me batty: "Gabe, I am changing a diaper while Aubrey is sounding out letters in my ear and Claire just dumped the entire basket of Little People all over the floor right next to me and Jackson is running the vacuum while Bronwyn is washing dishes to the tune of top-of-the-lungs-singing. I have no idea what's next, so for the love of everything peaceful, please don't ask me, What's next!!!!"

So not only does more structure helps them to know in advance what I want from them, it also relieves me of trying to stay one step ahead of each kid, which was just leaving my head spinning.

Thus, our daily "schedule".

It's written down according to times, but let me let you in on a secret: it's really more of a general outline! I have to estimate about how long things will take simply so that our mornings aren't perpetually running into our afternoons, so that the piano is free for each kid at a time they can use it, so that everyone gets a computer when required for various subjects, etc, but that's really all the more reason why there are times on the chart. Breakfast sometimes gets eaten earlier, history sometimes takes longer, etc.

This has all been so helpful around here because now my three oldest kids don't have to ask me, What's next? They simply reference the chart and work through their day in a fairly self-governed way. Life saving for all of us, I tell you.

Now, it's nothing fancy. But it helps them know what to anticipate. It helps them keep at the things they need to be at whether or not I am tied up with little ones.

We are by no means a well-oiled machine. There are hiccups regularly. I have learned to not measure the success of a plan or a routine by whether or not it is flawless; none of them are. But is it realistic? Is it stretching them while not crushing them? Is there time for them to be children: to play and draw and dream? Are they getting the sleep they need? Are they learning new responsibilities?

We adjust. We tighten up. We grow. We adapt.

Prayerfully faster and with more flexibility than we did yesterday!

Next: what's on the daily schedule.