This morning's stream of consciousness

I am sitting by Claire's bed, where she will fall asleep as long as she knows I'm nearby and ready to require that she lay down. Sleeping has been a battle with Claire of late, but I think I'm finally figuring out exactly how much she needs (despite her protests otherwise) and how to achieve it. The thing is, the solution has involved correction and enforcement that I simply wasn't ready for. Claire is still my baby, right??? Yet here she is, interacting over sleep like an awfully big girl.

Oh the sleep issues! I know there will come a day when I very well may be fighting the reverse battle ("GET OUT OF BED!"), but for now, I just. want. her. to. sleep. It's hard to believe she was the infant who virtually slept through the night from day #1, only to now (at 11 months) seem to think that 8 hours at night (with basically non-stop nursing throughout that time) and 45 minutes during the day is plenty. This mama knows better, though, and has absolutely concluded that most of her grumpiness is the direct result of exhaustion.

Thus, the sitting by her bedside, ready to lay her back down the minute she tries to stand up. When she finally falls asleep, it really does mean a more pleasant baby later on, and that makes the drama worth it. Truth is, I wish she would just fall asleep nursing like she used to. So much easier in so many ways!

I left the older kids mid-school assignments when I came up with Claire, and I can hear the stirring of the restless down below. Oh boy!

Also, a HUGE stockpot of applesauce is warming on the stove and my canning supplies are heating up. I made the applesauce on Saturday, but I've not had a chance to put it up since then. I'm more than determined that today will be the day... and am trying to make sure that I don't let my ambition get in the way of nurturing these little people. Therein lies much of the tension of my life: the things I need to do to care for them vs. the actual care needed at this moment.

Which brings me to a confession: I might have canned the applesauce yesterday when I did, in truth, have a spare hour, except that I was getting my hair done.

Sorry to all you voters, but I went with hair cut #1. The color is neither of the options I posted, but done like a separate picture I had clipped years ago (which leads to another confession: I think it's from a doctor's office magazine!).

I really like it. I know I would have liked the second option, too, but I told Carina that I feel like I've been there, done that. I wanted something a little different, and this fits the bill rather nicely in that it's something kind of new, but still something I can manage to do (I'm a bit delinquent when it comes to styling hair, thus my girls never having french braids or curled hair or anything very interesting). The color is a blondish with copper undertones sort of thing. Also not entirely new, but something that shouldn't leave terrible roots when I'm slow to getting my hair done again... which I almost always am.

Oh brother. Listen to me trying to describe it, as if I'm totally INTO MY HAIR, which any of you who know I've been going everywhere and doing everything for the past month with a PONY TAIL know isn't a bit of truth! I would just take a picture, except that my parents have my camera in Spain. Or, rather, on their way home from Spain. Yay! It's not that I see them lots and lots during the week, but somehow knowing they're not just down the road makes me miss them. I'm so glad they're coming back!

And... she's asleep! I'll leave this stream of consciousness now with one last thought: it's a beautiful day! I really hope we can manage to find some time to enjoy it, because I can't get over how perfect it's been!