Daniel is over at the house, staining the kitchen cupboards. He warned me not to expect him back tonight--he's hoping to finish the job. The poor man is working so hard, and the fault is really mine.

This morning I had a bit of a panic attack: There are only 2 and a 1/2 weeks until Christmas and I don't even have the cookie sheets unpacked, let alone the decorations out or our advent calendar being used, and we're never going to have another Christmas with Gabriel and Bronwyn the ages the are and with Bronwyn as the "baby" and I feel like I'm losing opportunities every day... and even if I can pull things together enough to fake our way through the holidays, after that I only have 2 and 1/2 weeks until this baby is due and as much as we're all guessing I'll go late, that still doesn't give me a whole lot of time, and we don't even own a dresser to put baby clothes that aren't yet washed in or the carseat located or anything... and you know what life is like after a new baby--me easily undone and the house in disarray even if it started out organized and caught up, and this time around we won't even be starting with things running semi-smoothly...

I was overwhelmed.

The whole family (minus Carina, who worked) left to locate and cut down wonderful Christmas trees for the three Sinclair-related households while Bronwyn and I stayed home. I couldn't find Bronwyn's snowsuit in any of the boxes in our new house, nor do I own a winter coat that fits around my belly, so the two of us remained here at the house. She took an early nap while I spent some time in quiet and began to mentally break things down, yet again. What can I try to do right now? And, sure enough, in spite of how out of control of this whole housing situation I feel, there were a couple projects I could begin working on so as to eliminate some of the stress.

Tonight, I am relieved. There's still a lot to do, but I finished the holiday newsletter that will go inside the Christmas cards I aim to get in the mail next week. Some creative thinking and a few "loaner" pieces of furniture from Mom will help meet the needs of our family in the short-term until I can find some things worthy of spending money on. I put together the Christmas wreaths I purchased faux greenery and fruit for while in Williamsburg (and they do look beautiful, if I say so myself!), so tomorrow or the next day at least the outside of our house will be decorated for the holidays, even if the inside is a bit of a mess.

Tomorrow--assuming Daniel really does get the job done in spite of my anxious requests that he not push himself so hard--the kitchen cupboards will be re-hung on the walls and I will have a home that can really be moved into. All the boxes of kitchen stuff that are piled in the dining room and living room can be put away, which means I'll actually have some space to figure out where the great tree cut down today can be put. Some bleach and a vacuum cleaner will dramatially improve the look of the house. And whatever can't be figured out and doesn't need to be tackled in the next few months will be stashed in the long closet upstairs to be sorted at some later date.

This morning I woke up and was beside myself. Tonight I am ready to take this thing one step at a time. The difference? Grace--from God and husband.