Nearing the end

I'm 37 weeks pregnant now. Being so close to delivery has snuck up on me, overall, although the recently begun and [at least] once daily meltdowns-- whether over kids' attitudes or the state/condition of the house or not sleeping well or Daniel's evening schedule, etc-- are always a sure sign for me that we are officially in the end-game! I'd blame the meltdowns on the on-going renovations upstairs and how that seems to continually contribute to extra chaos in the home except that I've done this every time, regardless of whether or not we're finishing up any major projects. There's always something for these raging hormones to latch on to as a reason for tears, it seems!

At this point, Daniel very graciously hears me out, tells me how we're going to make sure that our home/family is more ordered by the time the baby arrives, and then works with me to tackle the various "stressers". He handles me like a champ-- almost like he's been here before or something. ;)

I don't have any (nor have I had any at any point since we broke through the roof last June) lofty ambitions about us having our new bedroom upstairs done by the time Paladin #6 makes his/her grand entrance, but I have for months hoped to be back to having two bathrooms by then. It may sound silly since none of my children are even teenagers, but 7 of us sharing one bathroom is busy. I can't remember the last time I took a shower without someone needing to use the bathroom in that short 5-minute span (come to think of it, if they were teenagers and not toddlers/preschoolers who need to go when they need to go, I probably could get 5 minutes of solitude!), but I'm looking forward to being able to lock the door and tell them to use the other bathroom!

Yesterday Daniel laid the floor tile, which was his first time working with tile and a wet saw. It won't be long before there's a beautiful, new, finished bathroom in my house as a very tangible expression of his love and care for me. He is amazing.

While he laid tile, the 3 big kids and I did some thorough house cleaning. Thanks to the hormones, I just couldn't take the dust bunnies or dirty freezer for one more minute, no matter how tired I feel thanks to my low iron. We've still got quite a ways to go before I'll feel like we've sufficiently restored order to all the various nooks and crannies of the house, but if we keep hitting it hard like we did yesterday and today, we should be there in no time. In fact, we might get there too soon and have to do a thorough repeat spring cleaning again before the baby arrives, knowing my history of going late!

I did have a prenatal appointment in Syracuse on Monday with a midwife at the regional perinatal center there. She was wonderful.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I literally had tears in my eyes at one point because I felt so at ease with her, and I've just not had that feeling with someone handling my prenatal care in a long time.

(Okay, okay... so maybe having tears in my eyes doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot these days, but still... she was so comforting in a light-hearted put-you-at-ease sort of way!)

I do have a difficult choice in front of me now: whether to go with the 2-1/2-hours-away OB practice that I trust to make wise, unselfish, conscientious choices on behalf of me and my baby or to go with the closer-to-home practice that doesn't post great numbers (1 VBAC/year or so and a higher-than-average c-section rate) and, though willing to work with me, would definitely require me to be more aggressive in order to achieve my intended VBAC. It's not an easy choice for me. Although my exhaustion this pregnancy is contributing greatly to me just feeling like I'm not up for strong-arming anyone into giving me what I want and that I'd rather drive a little further in order to have care that puts me completely at ease, I also worry a bit about how trying to deliver so far away would work.

In the meantime, the baby keeps growing and is healthy and active and content. He/she has no clue that I haven't found the car seat or washed a single stitch of baby clothing or trained Aubrey to stand nicely through Sunday morning worship or completed our targeted amount of school work or finished painting the new bedrooms or re-organized the kitchen cabinets or settled on a delivery plan or anything like that. I need to take my cues from him/her and realize that it's as simple as taking it all one day at a time!