Ann V. on homeschooling

I love so many of Ann's posts. She is a great writer and a wonderful thinker. And she loves Jesus. So much.

If you're not subscribed to her blog, you should be.

This particular post about homeschooling was so moving. I wanted to share it as I feel it is incredibly laden with grace and humility, conviction and intentionality, inspiration and encouragement. There were several bits that especially stood out to me:

1. Where two or three are gathered, there He is also. What I love most about the homeschooling lifestyle is that we are all together, in all our glorious mess, day in and day out. We are not time-torn or fragmented. We are gathered. There is no dichotomy between God and secular: we are making a one-piece life. We are real, transparent, and growing –sometimes painfully– with each other, season upon season, and God is in the center, bathing us sin-scraped ones with His Grace. That’s rich.

2. We personally don't believe that children are called to be kingdom warriors in the public school system because, to our minds, that doesn't seem a level playing field. There are agendas operating there that may leave a child at a disadvantage. But do we need to walk with our children in the world with a vibrant, fearless faith that has full confidence in an all-powerful God? Yes!

3. Segregating people on the basis of age is a false construct, seen nowhere else in society. Separating children from siblings, from family, their natural community, homes, faith and environment to instead be grouped in a rather institutionalized, sterile space with potent agendas that may be disconnected from community values, that marks time with bells... this disconnect from the real world may not be most conducive to fostering a whole-hearted person whose faith, family, work, and service is all woven into a cloth of one piece.

4. ...homeschooling is this magnificent crucible, to reveal impurities and sinfulness and brokenness. It keeps us on our knees. Homeschooling often hurts and disappoints. You cry and wonder if you are insane to try to educate these children, to disciple these little hearts, while laundering, cooking, cleaning, managing a household, and still being a wife, a sister, a daughter, a missionary in your community, a servant to Christ and in your faith community. And He smiles and says that He walks with you, has grand and glorious purposes, and He understands radical and crazy!

Around here::

:: we are busily getting ready for a fun long weekend with Grandma and Pap-Pap! They will get to see Gabriel perform at CFA's Grandparents' Day, watch Gabriel's last Upward basketball game of the season, go to church with us, and generally dote on some very excited grandchildren!

:: my stomach is seriously starting to pooch a bit. I am in disbelief. I mean, I realize this is #5 (!), but come on! This is really setting a record for me! (Can I blame it on scar tissue? Please???)

:: I have really good days and really bad days as far as being sick goes. Generally everyday is marked by exhaustion and an inability to accomplish as much as usual, but I am trying to just take one day at a time and remember that this is just a season. You'd think I'd know this by now, but some lessons are harder to learn than others.

:: it's starting to feel like spring! We have taken walks the past two days. Gabriel and Bronwyn played outside for hours yesterday afternoon. It is lovely.

:: the Easter decorations are out and I am getting very geared-up for our celebrations. My favorite part so far this year is hearing Gabriel explain to Bronwyn that Jesus' death was a really, really good thing even though it seems really, really bad thing, because otherwise we couldn't have forgiveness and go to heaven. He knows the Gospel. I love this.

:: I finished a large jar of salsa pretty much single-handedly in 3 days. In case you were wondering what lines my cravings are falling along these days.

About

We have been on a mini family get-away since Monday. It has been wonderful. I don't want to go home, but this evening we'll make the 1 hour drive back to our little yellow house and get back to normal routines.

I've taken as many pictures as I possibly could on a camera that was low on battery power (I can only think about so many things ahead of time, you know?) and will share them soon. Our internet connection here is... slow... so you'll have to wait until I get home.

In the meantime, here are answers to the Top 10 questions I was asked [non-stop] over the weekend:

1. Yes, I'm due mid-October.

2. Yes, we've known since early February.

3. Yes, the is the first time we've not told people right away.

4. Yes, Aubrey is still nursing a lot. So far, so good. It's been more painful for me, but she is finally exploring other foods in the past few weeks so that I'm not having to nurse quite as often as before.

5. Yes, I'm planning on a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I'm a great candidate for all intents and purposes, but I live in a really rural location so I still have an uphill battle.

6. Yes, I've been pretty sick. Most mornings start with me puking in the toilet and then it's anybody's guess from there as to how the rest of the day will play out. But I must say, I've been only nauseous while on vacation, and it makes me wonder if recent stress was as much the cause of my terrible "morning" sickness as anything.

7. Yes, I've been exhausted. Really, really, really exhausted. Between weeks 5 and 7, in particular, I was going to bed most nights between 8 and 8:30p. I kid you not.

8. Yes, five (as opposed to "just four") somehow launches us into a new category of Big Families. I already feel it. And I have to admit that there's this pressure to somehow be the perfect mom in order to prove that Big Families can be a positive thing in a culture that tends toward disdain for them. I keep reminding myself that we didn't take this step of faith because we're perfect or because I'm more cut out for it than the next woman (because, um, I'm not): we're taking this step of faith because we have a big God who has impressed on our hearts His love for children and the next generation, and I can trust Him to make up what I lack.

9. Yes, I am considered a high-risk pregnancy because of Aubrey's congenital anomolies. I will be sent to Syracuse for a fetal echocardiogram between 20 and 25 weeks for an in-depth scan of the baby's heart. Doctors here have made it very clear that they don't want to ever again deliver a baby as sick as Aubrey in our hospital if at all possible and, though it's fairly unlikely that we will have a repeat of events, they definitely want to play things safe rather than sorry.

10. Yes, we are increasingly excited! I'm not going to lie: I've over-analyzed everything I eat, drink, and am exposed to more than has been good for me. I'm more nervous than I should be about something going wrong. I feel alternately impatient about getting to the end and wanting to just stay right here and now because it feels more safe and sure. But God has swept me up in encouragement and support and prayer and words of faith in the short half a week people have known about this newest baby, and today I know one thing: I can trust Him. And that's enough to make anyone ready for the future.

Announcing

Breathing

The windows are cracked open (okay... the one in my bedroom is actually flung open), the beds have been stripped and re-made with clean, fresh sheets. The scent of sweet-smelling candles and spring air mingle throughout our house.

Today, I can breathe.

For the first time in weeks, I inhale deeply-- inside my house-- and I can breathe.

Ah.

the procedure

Daniel, Aubrey, and I returned home from Syracuse this evening.  It was a long day (Aubrey ended up going for 11 hours without a single thing to eat and for 7 hours without a single thing to drink by the time they brought her into the OR), but the grace of God was definitely with us.  Aubrey handled things very well altogether and the procedure went flawlessly.

Unfortunately, the test did result in the discovery of yet a 5th category of heart defect in Aubrey.  It is not a debilitating discovery, but it is a bit disappointing as it does make surgical options more complicated.  Still, we are praying and believing that God will continue to keep Aubrey healthy and strong-- she continues to amaze the medical community!-- and that He will give her the miracle she needs.

Thank you for standing with us in prayer today; and thank you for praying with us throughout this past 1-1/2 years for Aubrey.  She is a testimony of God's grace!