Preparing

Ready or not, it suddenly hit us recently that there's a baby coming.

In, like, 2 months.

And we've done, like, not much to get ready.

When these sorts of thoughts hit (and they seem to hit harder and later with each pregnancy, probably because the days seem to go by faster and with less time to think ahead with each passing year!), I remember that we will do what we can do and also that, really, a baby slips into a home without needing a whole lot besides... well... me. And, honestly, what a privilege that is!

Still, there are some things that really need to be attended to in preparation for a baby, and even just for the sake of the whole family as we adjust to a new member.

I am no poster-child for baby preparation. Pottery Barn Kids will not be calling me to take pictures of our nursery (which is non-existent) and Parenting magazine will not be asking me to write an article on the Top 10 Ways To Get Ready For Baby. But despite what may look like less-than-American methods of preparing, we have begun preparing in our own way and making lists of things to prioritize in the coming weeks.

 

#1 Preparation: Get Prenatal Care & A Delivery Plan

I realized about 4 weeks ago that the perfect delivery plan probably wasn't going to fall into my lap out of nowhere and that I was going to find myself delivering in my living room and by myself by default if I didn't figure something out. I will confess that for a few days I very seriously entertained the idea of an unassisted childbirth, but I realized (with the help of my husband and some good friends) that having someone with some medical knowledge on hand (which both Daniel and I completely lack) was probably wise in my situation.

So, to make a long story filled with many phone calls and much frustration short:

I think I've found a doctor who is willing to give me a VBAC, and she's only an hour away! She does have a higher cesarean section rate than I would prefer, but she said the magic words that are really what I've been wanting to hear: "Of course I'll let you VBAC. As far as I'm concerned, now that you've had one successful VBAC, you don't even need special treatment. I also don't care if you swing from the chandeliers while laboring if that's what helps you, and I certainly would never make you deliver in the OR."

And she says willing to let me bring a doula of my choosing to help manage the birth, which was one of the significant losses (in my opinion) of delivering in the OR: not being able to have anyone but Daniel there to encourage me and share in the day. My mom hasn't been with me since the birth of Jackson, and I'm looking forward to having her with me again, to say the least.

I'll see this doctor again in a little less than 2 weeks and hopefully continue to find that she's as great as she initially seems.

 

#2 Preparation: Do Whatever It Takes To Increase My Iron

My 28-week bloodwork came back confirming my fears about my iron levels: my hemoglobin is down to 8.3 (yikes, for sure). For those who don't know numbers on these things, let's just say that that's lower than what many women have after they give birth. No wonder I've been SO tired!

I've made floradix my best friend these past months, so now it's just a matter of making sure that just about every calorie I take in is super high in iron and/or protein. While I don't relish the thought of eating blackstrap molasses by the tablespoon, I prefer that idea to one of postpartum hemorrhaging or even just a longer-than-usual recovery. I think I'll also have to learn how to cook liver, which is something I've never actually eaten, let alone prepared, before. Recipes involving high-iron foods are welcomed, but please remember that I'm super exhausted-- so they have to be easy!

 

 

#3 Preparation: Take Ground With Home Renovations

We are not "nursery people." My babies sleep in a sweet basket right in my room for the first while and that is how we like it. (Easy enough.) But, we still need a place to keep clothes and diapers and things like that, and our small bedroom simply doesn't have an inch to spare for such things.

Not a problem, since the guest room upstairs will double as the "baby's room" (aka "baby's storage") for a while, right?

Right.

Except that the room kinda needs some TLC.

 

Actually, considering the fact that it didn't even exist 6 months ago, it looks amazing. And truth be told, it looks even better right now than this picture (which is about a week old) shows, since it's now primed and the ceiling is painted, thanks to the Lafaver men and their speedy paint sprayer.

All I need to do is muster up enough energy to get the walls painted and then, regardless of no flooring and no trim and no closet doors, I will put the baby's dresser right in that little nook and then!-- then I will have a place to put the things I have recently begun collecting for the baby, which will mean that the basket-bed will no longer be a storage place and may actually be available for the baby to sleep in!

 

#4 Preparation: Choose Baby Names

I have to admit, we really haven't gotten very far with this one. I have a few names I kind of like, but I'm not sure I love any of them. Daniel hasn't really given much input yet. He has pretty good excuses these days, seeing as he's been using every spare minute to do things that will restore greater peace and functionality to our home-- things like running plumbing (alongside Megan, who is awesome and got the job done so fast!) in the future upstairs bathroom.

 

I'm beyond glad we have plumbing, but I also realize that if this child is nameless for the entirety of his/her life, he/she won't care a bit about our thoroughness with the upstairs bathroom remodel, so the goal is to make some progress in this department sooner rather than later.

Seeing as how it takes me longer than 2 months to pick out what kind of light fixture I want for the upstairs landing, I better get thinking on that, huh?

 

#5 Preparation: Enjoy This Season

Between exhaustion and on-going projects, it can be easy to lose sight of how special each and every day is, which is why I am so very thankful for the Holy Spirit's clear reminders of late to treasure each moment. This day is unique and never to be repeated. Wow! I don't want to get so antsy in my own "nesting" urges, or so caught up in what needs to be done, or so anxious to just plain old feel better, that I lose sight of the most important thing I can be doing: loving where He's put me and who He's put me with.

 

We're Gonna Have A Birthday!

Today is Jackson's sixth birthday.

Six!

He was born on a very cold day right on the heels of an unusually warm spell. I so clearly remember stopping at the grocery store on our way home from the hospital about 24 hours after his arrival (which is still a bizarrely hilarious memory in and of itself: my horribly anemic self, thanks to some pretty bad hemorrhaging following his birth, hanging onto the shopping cart for support as I shuffled along to pick up the essentials we needed, like bread and butter and milk, and daring not remove the blanket from completely over Jackson, who was nestled in his car seat, because I felt so terrible about being so poorly prepared for his birth that I had wound up bringing my BRAND NEW BABY into a public, germ-infested place like P&C!) and how bright the sun was and how crunchy the snow felt and how quickly our breath was taken away from the sheer cold of the day!

Papa with a couple-hours-old Jackson
 

Six is a big deal around our house. The only clearly spelled tradition we have for birthdays is that we don't do big parties-- except for the sixth one. For six, although it's still not big by most American standards, we pull out all the stops!

The birthday boy/girl gets to pick a birthday theme. (Jack picked dinosaurs.)

The guest list is altered from strictly family and perhaps a friend or two to being able to fill up the dining room table with guests all of their own choosing. (Jackson has invited his siblings, two uncles, Papa, a cousin, and some friends from church and Friday School.)

We do games with prizes. (Pin The Tooth On The Dino, Dino May I?, and a balloon popping contest.)

There are party favors that coordinate with the theme. (Dinosaur crayons and erasers, dinosaur foam masks, and candy.)

And every time we do the six-year-old party, my breath catches in my throat (much like it does when I step outside and [re]discover just what -10 degrees feels like): How did we get here already?

Jackson, this fall.
 

I have loved the little boy Jackson so much. His red hair, freckled complexion, clear gray eyes, and winsome smile are second to none. His love for affection, his helpfulness, his quiet-but-rough-and-tumble way melts us all. His soft cheeks that have been oh-so-slow to lose their baby feel, his giddy laugh, his easy-going nature-- these things I want to remember always.

I've been here before so I know that, really, the future is not something to shy away from, but this Mama heart wishes I could keep maybe just this one small for always.

Last night as I tuck him into bed, his eyes bright with excitement after watching his first live college hockey game and having been gifted a hockey stick from one of the goalies whose heart he had won, I ask him if he'll please just not turn six after all; if he'll stay five and be my boy forever?

"I can't help it, Mom, I was made to grow."

And so he was.

 

With that, what more is there to say except:

Happy Birthday, Jackson Edward! We love you so much and we really do have ever so much excitement for all that God has for you in the days head. Grow, little boy, into a man who loves Jesus and serves only Him. We are beyond thankful for you and the destiny that is wrapped up inside of you!

 

The First Week

We greeted Monday and "normal" routine with grunts and groans around here, but made it through. School? Check. Chores? Check. Attitudes? Eh.

Tuesday was not so kind. In addition to it being Day #2 of Post-Holiday Syndrome (enough said), Tuesday also commenced a fresh phase of work in the unfinished bedrooms upstairs. In case you didn't know, dry wall is messy business (hats off to those guys who work with it day in and day out all year long!). School time was laced with bad attitudes, malfunctioning math programs, disorganized shelves that made finding certain supplies impossible, and my less-than-pleasant response to it all. By evening, I kind of wanted to cry along with Aubrey and Claire when Daniel left for Evening #2 out of the house. I confess, it was one of those, "Don't leave me here alone with the kids!" kinds of self-pity.

Wednesday was worse. Claire had been awake until 3am the night before, so I was running on very little sleep considering my rather pregnant state. My children received a hearty lecture on why the most important part of their education is that they learn to work hard at and to be thorough with whatever task they are given-- it was the right idea, but the deliverer wasn't exactly feeling gentle or gracious and I'm sure the recipients heard that louder and clearer than anything else.

I was glad to end the day and look forward to a new morning.

Thursday the work upstairs continued and the progress being made certainly far outweighed the dust accumulating in the rest of the house. (At that point I gave up on putting the vacuum away and, instead, just started leaving it out where I could easily grab it to clean up the dust on the stairs before Claire coated herself in it several times a day, which has worked much better than trying to keep her off the stairs.) We skipped the books again for the more urgent task of de-decking the halls and doing a deep cleaning of the entire first floor of our house. Attitudes were great, enthusiasm was high, we were accomplishing lots!

And I got a little carried away with reorganization, but had a blast doing it.

Today, more dry wall is going up (yay!). A new couch arrived, which completes the furniture arrangement I've had in mind for the sitting room (triple yay, since this is a couch I've had in the back of my mind for well over a year, only to recently see that it was on Final Sale and marked down to half the price!). We finished school and chores by 10am, a record for us that was significantly aided by my 4:30am wake-up this morning (don't ask).

Yes, Aubrey is sick with a fever. Claire is in what we call a "funk", testing every instruction and generally getting into mischief whenever we're not looking. The delivery men tracked mud all over the room I thoroughly cleaned yesterday. The dust continues (and continues... and continues).

But, boy, has this week proven to be a useful one in so many ways!

Three prayer meetings at the beginning of the week, all missed by yours truly but attended by Daniel and a few kids each night, were amazing and good even for me here at home. Fasting of various kinds for each of us was a rude and necessary reminder to our over-indulged flesh that of our deepest need of all is to belong wholly and completely to Him. New mornings proved even to this melancholic soul that would have liked to give up on the start of the year before we even got one full week into it that He is a God of second chances.

It's been a week.

A good, normal, crazy, ups-and-downs week.

Here's to 51 more!

 

Dry wall really does make it all feel so much closer to being DONE!

Two bedrooms, ready for mudding and taping, which starts Monday.
Thanks for awesome cheerful work, Lafaver crew! 

 

Yes, this cupboard was here for years (!) before I moved it to the sitting room a few months ago. Yes, I emptied it out, moved it back, and resettled its contents after a thorough purging yesterday. It allows for our new [to us] bedroom door to actually open all the way and it's more functional for homeschooling anyway (since it houses pretty much all our supplies). 

 

The black shelves are back where they used to be.
Musical furniture, which Daniel just graciously rolls his eyes at me about.

 

The new couch (in the middle) is just right!

a year in review

Life is so much more than the quick highlights and events that take place, and yet I do love remembering the highlights and events because they trigger thoughts of what God has been doing in us and how incredibly faithful He has been to us. I suppose I'm the only reader who gets the full picture of it all, but hopefully you'll enjoy remembering with me anyway!

 
January

- We celebrated Jackson's fifth birthday. (Unbelievable!)

- The Make-A-Wish Foundation sent our family to Disney World for the week so Aubrey could see a castle and meet princesses. It was memorable, special, wonderful, and luxurious!

 

February

- Our church closed on a building in Potsdam that we had been hoping/looking to buy for almost 2 years. Daniel was instrumental in the closing process and subsequently to the remodeling and planning processes.

- Gabriel turned eight!

- We got lots of snow! The kids had so much fun building snowmen, sledding in our yard and at The Big Hill in town, having snowball fights, and making snow angels.

 

March

- We wrapped up another Upward Basketball season with a great deal of competitive fun that extended to the sidelines at times! Both Gabriel and Jackson played this year, and Daniel coached.

- Our three school-age children participated in another CFA Grandparents' Day celebrations. They all sang in choirs and participated in the talent show with a dance routine.

 

April

- Gabriel participated in a wedding as a ring bearer for some good friends in Pittsburgh. He looked handsome and was tremendously blessed to play a part.

- We had a lovely, mild Easter!

 

May

- Daniel and I traveled quite a bit, attending three out-of-town weddings in one month.

- Gabriel began his 2nd year of baseball in our town's league, which included being given the opportunity to march in the annual Memorial Day parade.

- The kids all participated in CFA's end-of-the-year Academy Night. I wrapped up the year as the 2nd-4th grade choir teacher and 1st-2nd grade story time teacher, and Daniel finished his year as assistant director, K-12 phys ed teacher, and 3-4th grade character class teacher.

 

June

- We planted our vegetable garden, something we've done for the past three years now. It is one of the highlights of summer for us all at this point.

- Bronwyn finished her first year of ballet study with a dance showcase.

- Jackson graduated from kindergarten!

- We began a major home remodeling project, expanding our upstairs by about 330 square feet. That project is on track to be finished sometime this coming summer/fall, as anticipated.

- Daniel ran his first 10k!

 

July

- The whole Sinclair family traveled to Long Island to celebrate Independence Day with Aunt Judy, Uncle Huck, and girls-- and also to celebrate my sister Louissa's engagement! We visited NYC and FAO Schwartz while in the area.

- Work on the building in Potsdam continued and Daniel began logging more and more hours there. He is turning into quite the remodeler!

- I ran a 5k, despite poor running habits this year overall, and the 3 big kids ran a 1-mile race. We all had a great time.

- I spent a whole week of my life painting the kids' bedrooms, many pieces of bedroom furniture, and the stairway. A whole week, pretty much day and night, I tell you.

 

August

- Daniel, Gabriel, and I headed out with a team of musicians for a youth conference in Michigan that Daniel was asked to lead worship and speak at. Bronwyn and Jackson stayed with some good friends while Aubrey and Claire stayed with my parents. It was the longest we've ever been away from any of our kids, excepting our time in Syracuse following Aubrey's birth.

- Daniel's parents came for a visit and to return Gabriel home after the week he spent having the time of his life with them in Pittsburgh.

- Bronwyn turned seven!

- We announced that Paladin #6 is on his/her way and due late March.

- I attended the first birth I've been to since Julia was born (unless you count my own children's, but those weren't exactly optional) and saw my niece Beatrice make her grand entrance into the world.

- Daniel poured countless hours into the building Potsdam, preparing it for the first service on September 4th.

 

September

- Our church launched its Potsdam location, which is where Daniel leads worship and oversees the service that we attend each week as a family.

- We started another school year: Gabriel in 3rd grade, Bronwyn in 2nd, and Jackson in 1st.

- Bronwyn began another semester of studying ballet with a new teacher and dance studio since her old teacher is no longer giving classes in Potsdam. She loves the art and is a lovely little dancer who has every hope of continuing with her studies for quite some time.

- Aubrey, our miracle baby, celebrated her fourth birthday. God is good!

- Carina and Julia put together an amazing Hoe-down/Engagement Party/Bridal Shower for Louissa and Josiah. It was one of the most fun parties I've ever been to.

 

October

- Daniel and I celebrated 10 years of marriage with a 3 day/2 night get-away to Montreal, Canada. We did lots of fun things and ate [too much] delicious food and, most of all, enjoyed being together. I am so thankful for this man who leads me in the ways of the Lord, and I love him more today than I did 10 years ago!

- We began another year of CFA Friday Program. Daniel is officially overseeing this ministry of our local church to homeschooling families and doing a great job. I am teaching choir and story time again, and three of our children are attending as students.

- Our church hosted an alumni reunion and we got to reconnect with lots of alumni who grew incredibly near and dear to us in their time in the North Country.

- My sister Louissa got married to a great guy. Her wedding was beautiful!

- Gabriel and Bronwyn began another year of piano lessons with Aunt Camilla, and Gabriel began some drum lessons with Papa.

 

November

- Claire turned two years old on the 1st.

- We headed to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving, stopping first in Syracuse for in-depth prenatal tests (all clear!) and a hotel stay on our way.

 

December

- December contained lots of Christmas parties, a concert or two, special meetings, holiday decorating, tree-getting, choir-practicing, and cookie-baking. We love this time of year!

- Bronwyn had her tonsils removed after dealing with severe tonsil infections and abscesses on and off since she was two years old. Her recovery was quick and relatively painless.

- We celebrated Christmas with our sixth year of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning traditions right here in our own home. It is a joy to celebrate the amazing kindness of our God; and it is wonderful to see our children growing to love celebrating with one another.

Daniel & Brietta
Gabriel (8), Bronwyn (7), Jackson (5), Aubrey (4), Claire (2) & baby #6 due at the end of March 

 

In all the ups and downs one year contains (and it does contain a lot!), we are so blessed. We have a warm and inviting home to live in, five (six!) beautiful and growing children, a job that is so much more than just a job working for a church that is truly family to us, friends and family that we love and can count on, and the infinite joy of walking with Jesus. I'm so thankful that as we begin another year, our rest is found in Christ and the faithful work He has begun in us.

Happy New Year!

 

10,000 Reasons

We are hunkered down for the day. Our North Country sky, which usually boasts bright sun at this time of year, is gray and overcast for multiple days in a row now. The wind is howling so that the much warmer than average temperature we are experiencing is almost nullified by its biting chill.

Bronwyn is on day 6 of feeling rather sick. What began on Saturday with a high fever and throwing up has turned into a full-fledged tonsil infection. She is pale, quiet, and tired. We do our best to cheer her with favorite movies, wii competitions, Edy's popsicles, books, gifts from a friend and an aunt, and lots of candles, while encouraging lots of fluids and rest and vitamins and probiotics. I am hopeful that the worst is behind us, but she seems to have a good road to full recovery ahead of her yet.

Of course, having one of my students missing school has meant that we've all adjusted our schooling slightly. The boys plug away at math, handwriting, and reading, but we are foregoing most history and science until all our members are once again fully able to participate . Things like reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud together, listening to Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker, and baking lots of holiday cookies (the tally is well over 35 dozen at this point-- but don't worry, we've given most of them away!) take the place of normal school activities.

It is so good to be home. I am so thankful to spend each day with these beautiful five people that I call my own. There is no place I'd rather be.

I have to say, I always love this place I call home. I love the security and family and love and commitment and Christ that is in it. I love the uneven wood floors, the old doors, the big windows. I even love the noisy heat ducts and ongoing projects and toys on the floor.

I love that it is a refuge. I am thankful for God's design for us, to give us a place where we can laugh and cry and share and mess up and repent and grow and be. It's not about the house itself or the way it looks, but how we conduct ourselves in it and how He pours Himself out right here in our daily lives.

I'm often undone by how good God is to us, how thoughtful He is in His plan for our lives. Lately, I tear up regularly and at times downright cry about how above and beyond He goes for us. I don't always stop to consider His kindness the way I should; I am sure even now of how far short I fall in my attempts to consider and comprehend His love for me.

I want to try, though.

Each and every single day, I want to try to see a bit more.

I want to wake up each morning eager to better understand His heart toward us.

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
- matt redman 

Getting the tree!

I usually decorate the house for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving (and we managed to pull this off even this year, despite not returning home from Pittsburgh until that Saturday night!), but we don't get our tree until a week or two later in an effort to keep it fresh through the holidays. I am not one who is eager to say good bye to the tree after Christmas, preferring to wait until a week or so after to take it down, so we can't get it too quickly or else it's just a pile of needles come January 1st. The only problem with this plan is that we can get oh so eager and impatient waiting for Tree Day!

This year was no exception. It may have, in fact, been one of the worst. The kids were not the only ones counting down the days; I was, too!

Yesterday finally came. Jackson was feverish so he and I stayed home (sadness), but the others braved the rain and mud and chill to bring home our beauty. We opted for another small tree, making it two years in a row now of down-sizing. I like the sweetness of small trees and the kids didn't seem to mind altogether too much, though they would prefer a big one (and I do think we'll oblige again one of these years!).
 

They found it!
(Claire was there, but not in the picture, apparently)

 

Stringing the lights

Frosting cookies while Daddy strings lights = tradition

 

Bronwyn crocheted all our garland this year

 

Claire tried to figure out the crocheting, too

 

Hanging ornaments

 

Daniel and I didn't really have to hang any, as Gabriel and Bronwyn were actually tall enough to reach most of the way up

 

The final touch and our first *real* tree topper!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Our first year with a *real* mantel!

Heaps and heaps of reading and re-reading these special books that only come out once a year

 

A favorite Christmas card framed

Our 1895 piano, decorated for the holidays

One of many nativities about the house. Jesus really is the reason for the season and we never want to forget Him!